The spiritual darkness that has plagued my life until Jesus claimed victory over it all began when I was still in the womb. My parents lived a happy settled life with my 2 half siblings in a small town in Wiltshire. My mother had re married to my father who was a kind and loving man after years on her own as a single parent and so I was a much longed for baby about to arrive for them in their late 30’s.
That day in February 1967 that spelled the start of a horrific catalog of events began like any other, there was no impending feelings of doom, no red flags or warnings just a breakfast together before school. My sisters were 11 and 13 with the older one a typical feisty teenager pushing boundaries constantly and arguing over everything. This day was no different.
She didn’t want to go to school the last day before half term and having had a virus previously insisted, she still felt unwell. My parents were exhausted with arguing, particularly my tired mother at 7 months pregnant with me so after a failed attempt to reason with her, to avoid a shouting match they gave in and said she could stay home to study. My mother worked part time so would be back after lunch and they felt at 13 she could be old enough to stay alone for a short time. They were wrong.
My mother came home after work to an empty house and immediately panic ensued. Police were involved, search parties sent out but she remained missing for 12 hours. Eventually a call came in from our local hospital she had been dropped off mute from trauma but alive. A man had called at our house claiming to be from the school and abducted her. He was never caught. She never divulged what he did during those lost hours, and she remained mute for 6 months. My sister never fully recovered she was changed forever.
The following year on a camping trip my other sister ran after wild horses tripped, fell and a horse lashed out smashing a hole through her skull. She barely survived and had animal bone inserted into the hole as in the 1960’s this was their only option. Within a few short years she developed bone Cancer and died at 16 years old.
Shortly after her death I began to see a child in our house that no one else could see and she became my imaginary friend that I called Molly. This quickly altered from joy of having a new companion to a frighteningly dark time with accidents occurring around the home, items were smashed or disappeared. I developed an extreme fear of the dark having severe night terrors resulting in sleepwalking or sleep paralysis and I cried continuously.
Molly went from my friend to my tormentor instilling terror into me turning my personality from outgoing and confident to a clingy child afraid of everything. Due to grieving my sister and watching me change so significantly my parents needed comfort so attended a local church and thankfully the issues at home gradually stopped with Molly disappearing.
A few years later my mother had a fall injuring her back and after multiple failed treatments she was advised by a friend to try a spiritualist couple who supposedly prayed for people. My parents had been Sunday church goers with no proper foundation of their faith so it gradually petered out, they had no relationship with Jesus Christ, or they would never have ventured near these people. On the first visit her back was healed and so we all began attending.
That first night we each were given our own spiritual guides to accompany us home which we later discovered were demons. Allowing these Spiritualists into our lives culminated in a door to hell opening up. It was insidious to begin with as they gained our trust but gradually my sleep issues from years before returned. I would wake up hiding in cupboards and screaming in different parts of the house. I can remember the nightmares to this day, they were full of death, pain, terror, blood, darkness and demons.
The accidents returned to our home with poltergeist activity particularly in my bedroom, extreme temperature changes with one room like a meat locker. I suffered physical violence against me, and we all had continual ill health. In desperation we asked the very source of our issues to help so a failed exorcism was performed by the Spiritualists that unleashed more terrors. This began months of trauma with an infestation of spiders real and spiritual plaguing our home.
I became a shell of the child I had been literally vibrating with fear I began to experience automatic writing detailing hideous acts of murder and violence; our dog was too terrified to stay in our home. A severe mental collapse then occurred in my father resulting in early medical retirement from teaching and this was coupled by chronic fatigue in my mother.
Finally, we had to face the evil they had brought into our lives and decided to leave them. When we told them we were warned against this, but my parents were resolute. Two weeks later my eldest sister took her life on my 13th birthday. They called afterwards to say they already knew it was going to happen. A week later my grandma died, another week and another death this time a family friends suicide followed by older family members unexpected passing.
A few days after the last death, paralysed with grief and fear, I was desperate to get out of my home, so I went riding. Within minutes my horse became terrified for no obvious reason throwing me to the ground where I was trampled. My body was left badly bruised with multiple broken bones, but I was lucky to still be alive. Again, they called knowing each devastating occurrence before my father had uttered a word. They said they’d tried to warn us not to leave.
We were absolutely broken as a family. Unbelievably they proceeded to tell us we still needed them as my older sister who had just died was visiting their house regularly with urgent messages for my parents and incredibly, they pulled us back in. There was no message of any significance; it was a lie. Instead, they made it clear I was expected to enter into the spiritual realm with them to be trained as a medium. It had all been the plan from the very first night.
I had attended their house and my guide I then discovered was in fact, Molly. It was at this point my mother collapsed in horror in their lounge. It gave us a reason to leave, and I was completely hysterical on the ride home. This was the last straw.
In absolute desperation my father called our pastor who visited that night. Immediately our house was properly exorcised then everything was explained in detail about the spiritual realm, the dangers we had unknowingly stepped into and the only answer to it all. Jesus Christ. We finally heard the gospel message properly, the gift of salvation, the protection in this world, the guidance, friendship and purpose. We gave our lives there and then.
The house was cleansed, we began attending church and life settled to a new normal. My parents threw themselves wholeheartedly into being Christians and never looked back. Sadly, for me in my early teens I couldn’t connect with it the same and after a few years of halfhearted faith the world pulled me away. So began 30 years of enduring the world’s pain with no relationship with Jesus that ultimately left me absolutely broken and returning in desperation to Him.
In my naivety I felt once I had finally given my life completely to Jesus and begun a relationship with him that life would become easy. It didn’t.
The fact that I was taking a stand on which side I was committing to with my renewed faith and leaving the world behind saw the beginnings of new spiritual attacks on myself and my grown-up children.
Over the space of several years the same insidious issues began to develop starting in a house we were living in then following us for 2 more house moves. My eldest son developed a Chronic Fatigue like illness that was undiagnosed because the GP could not find anything wrong. We tried a Nutritionist and personal trainer, but nothing changed.
He somehow managed to get to university to do a music degree at a Christian university and he thrived whilst he was there. The strange thing was on arriving home within hours his chronic fatigue symptoms would return until all he could do was rest. As soon as he returned to the school he would snap back into good health. Alongside this were a repeat of all the past spiritual issues in our home culminating in my having near fatal Pneumonia coupled with Sepsis followed by COVID then a broken ankle in a fall.
We called our pastor in, and the house was exorcised. The end result was the objects in our home I had been in possession of since my teens needed to be removed. These were movies linked to the dark side of spirituality, similar music that included heavy metal, books with dark content, clothes with images linked to the occult, the list was long. Unknowingly we had purchased these things not understanding the agreements it created with the enemy. It took months to rid our house of the darkness it was a daily battle putting on the whole armour of God praying constantly playing worship music and reading the word.
Eventually it ceased and on the other side of this is my son’s health after 8 years is miraculously restored. The chronic tiredness is no more. He now has a business and is enjoying life. All the issues with my health deterioration have halted. My finances have improved. Although occasionally we are aware a new spiritual attack is happening, now we combat it immediately putting the whole armour of God on and Christ has the victory. Life feels free now. We maintain a close relationship with Jesus. He is our rock through every day and any storms that arise.
‘The thief comes only to steal, kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full’ John 10:10 NIV
