This is a testimony about how Jesus has come into my life and transformed me.
As a child growing up, I experienced seeing severe domestic violence and felt rejected, scared and unloved by my father. In my teens, I suffered from depression and anxiety. I blamed myself for my relationship with my father and I felt worthless. This led to me self-harming and attempting suicide twice. I got some therapeutic help and it helped a little but the depression, anxiety and low self-worth always kept coming back.
Over the years, I got married and had 4 kids. Life was better but I was always haunted by worthless feelings and I still self-harmed. I never thought I was good enough for my husband, kids or anyone. We had ups and downs, a lot of them due to my insecurities, but we managed to get past them. Recently, my depression came back strong and I thought I wouldn’t be able to manage this year and considered giving my life up.
I have always believed in God but never read the bible and rarely went to church. I never gave my religion much thought, but I did pray often. During my latest depression, I was praying more than ever. This is when Jesus came to me.
I will now describe some of the spiritual/supernatural experiences I’ve had. I know that some reading this might find them hard to believe. But these experiences are very real and vivid to me. Nothing like this has ever happened to me before and it has changed me into a follower of Christ. I believe God wants me to share this, so I hope it benefits anyone that reads it. Jesus Christ is real, open your hearts and let Him in and watch as He transforms you.
A few weeks leading up to my bad dose of depression I had a strange dream. It felt like God was instructing me and my family to get on Noah’s Ark. The dream made me feel safe and secure at the time. I told my husband about it but thought nothing about it after.
Some months later, at the beginning of this year (2021), I had dream. This dream felt like it was actually happening in real life. I was on a beach, sitting down on the sand and I could feel the sensation on my skin. There was a presence of a person next to me. I knew this person was Jesus Christ.
Then everything just stopped.
The waves of the ocean, the noise, everything came to a standstill. I had an awareness that He stopped everything, and that He done it for me. I felt like a child and was at ease playing in the sand as He stood behind and watched me. I turned to look at Him and could see he was wearing a purple robe and He had a peaceful presence about Him. He spoke to me in my mind and told me to enjoy the time I have left. He made me feel like something is coming to an end.
The next significant dream I had was of me and my father sitting in a room together. I was aware that Jesus was next to me. He told me to forgive my father. Then I woke up and for the first time in my life I felt no resentment towards my dad. In my heart I felt able to forgive him. Bitterness had been lifted from me.
Doing this opened a door to inner happiness, something I had never felt before. Although this had a positive impact on me, I felt there was more I needed to do. I felt compelled to communicate in person to my dad. I decided to ring him. I told him I was sorry for any bad stuff that happened between us and told him I loved him. He told me he loved me too.
While I was praying one morning in bed, a vision came to me. My eyes were closed but I was experiencing myself somewhere else. I could see clear blue sky and white fluffy clouds. It felt like I was in this sky. I had an internal feeling of a never-ending river flowing through me and it felt amazing. Words cannot describe what this feeling felt like. I had a strong awareness and feeling that what I was experiencing was a part of heaven. The feeling of the river flowing through me stayed with me after the vision. It left me incredibly happy and my husband noticed I was different. To this day, that feeling of the flowing river still comes to me but not as strong. It comes especially when I pray.
The next vision I had was not as pleasant as the last one. I believe Jesus showed me hell. I was experiencing myself as if I was looking from above at an area below. It was dark. The place looked huge and it seemed to be in a pit. The ground looked like lava with flames coming out. I saw black trees. These trees looked withered, hairy and disgusting. I could hear distant screaming. I could feel the unbearable heat and I had a thirst that I knew would never be quenched, just like what it says in the bible. I had an awareness there was no way out of this place, it was forever. This vision was about 1-2 minutes but the extreme fear stayed with me for a long time. It still scares me now; it was absolutely horrifying.
I had a dream where I was with my husband and kids, driving along a road during a bright sunny day and we were all happy. I looked up and noticed there was an opening in the sky. It looked like I could see another planet like the earth through the opening. Then all of a sudden it was like I was sucked up into the clouds in an instant. All I could see was sky and clouds. Then the dream ended. It was so real like it just happened. It also left me with a cough which I cannot explain.
I have had more spiritual dreams but I will leave it at this for now.
For years I have suffered from severe heart burn which I neglected to get checked out. Over a year ago I had a check-up at the hospital about it as it was getting to the point where I could not eat food without vomiting. It was found I had a hernia, gallstones and gastritis. I was prescribed medication and put on a waiting list for surgery.
During my spiritual experiences I was compelled to pray for healing. I prayed and felt some force come over my stomach and I knew a healing was taking place. The next day the problem was gone. I no longer need medication or surgery. Praise God for my miraculous healing.
Through having these experiences, I began reading the bible and watching Christian sermons. I learned about the spiritual gifts that God can give. I decided to pray and ask God for the gifts of wisdom and knowledge. I am person who has had little education in my life. I was barely at school growing up due to home circumstances, missing whole years at school. I have done no more than 3 years of education in total and even needed help to write this testimony. The Lord has answered my prayer.
After asking for these gifts, the Lord gave me them. I know this can sound hard to believe, but I can ask the Lord a question or for some advice and it is given. The information I get is either by hearing His voice or he puts an image in my mind. I asked the Lord what this gift is for and He said it’s for guidance, safety and building the church up. The Lord has greatly blessed me and my family with this.
What I have learned is that the Holy Bible truly is the Word of God. Everything in that book is true, it all happened, from Adam and Eve to what is going to happen as is stated in the prophecies. And I asked what is the key to salvation- it is to believe. Believe in the work of Jesus, that he died for our sins and rose from the dead in 3 days. Faith in Jesus is the key to salvation. I also asked when the rapture will take place and I got ‘soon’ and ‘the next generation’.
Life has changed for me and my family now. Knowing the truth of God gives our lives meaning and we hope this testimony helps inspire someone to get saved. I thank Jesus for giving me hope, courage, strength and love. Thank you, Jesus, for making me feel like I am worth something. Have faith in Jesus Christ- that He died to take the punishment for our sins so that we who believe in Him and what He done, will have eternal life.