A long time ago, I was bound by the chains of addiction. I liked playing video games until one day, there was a video game in which I’ve never been so addicted to. I played it and played it over and over again because I felt like I was someone powerful. I felt like I achieved something in my life, and I didn’t want to leave that fantasy.
I was respected, had friends, a girlfriend, and girls who wanted me to be their girlfriends. Why did I need God? I didn’t like the real world because it didn’t appeal to me.
I was like the prodigal son in the bible who was given money to use it in the world. I didn’t do much except play for hours. I was lost in a false fantasy. I kept playing endlessly, until I jokingly wanted to quit and take a break.
I was stuck in a vicious cycle of playing. The desire to quit got stronger every passing day, but I was still kept in bondage to the game. I was suffocating, drowning, and passing away like a withered flower inside of myself. I felt like I was wasting my time on the game, and it was driving me insane.
When I woke up, I felt depressed because I raced to play the game. I wanted someone to listen to me and help me, but I felt like no one was. Every time I tried to just yell for help, the words choked.
My future, happiness, the fullness of life, and all that was good in the world was like on another side of a tunnel and no matter how fast I tried to run towards it, I was always back in a pit of my addictions. I turned on some Christian music and I was very speechless.
I no longer had the same enthusiasm, the same spirit of worship, or the passion of giving myself to God. All I could feel was a completely dry feeling. I was starving spiritually to the point where I didn’t care anymore. I asked my girlfriend,
“I want to do something, but I don’t know what to do. Can you please help me?”
She gave me an unsatisfied answer.
Right there, I realized that girlfriends won’t bring you joy. In fact, my whole fantasy no longer brought my joy. It was only an illusion that I couldn’t escape. My mom momentarily pulled me out. She couldn’t joke about it anymore; she didn’t laugh anymore. It seemed she was going insane as well,
“My son, stop playing! Stop playing! Don’t play anymore! What kind of life are you having in that game?!”
I could see the desperation in her face, but I walked away without saying anything. Inside, I replied to her,
“I wish I could, but I can’t stop playing!”
I took a bitter rest only to stuff all of the addictions down myself. I needed to play the game more. Finally, one day I couldn’t live the way I was living where nothing was real. I couldn’t bear the torment.
I thought that the only way to escape it all was to not live at all. I felt very pushed down. It was until I came across a church still in service. I saw people literally screaming at the top of their lungs at full force. They were not even playing in tune with their musical notes. There was no order, just worship. The preacher screamed with all of his might,
“It doesn’t matter what we’re going through, we sing hallelujah anyway, it doesn’t matter if the economy is bad, we sing hallelujah anyway. It doesn’t matter if I go to prison, we sing hallelujah anyway because that same God that let me go into prison shall take me out!”
Some ran as they yelled, so full of energy. I couldn’t understand,
“Why are these people doing this? What makes them so happy?”
You may have seen chaos and social disorder, but I could only see one thing…Freedom. The freedom that doesn’t come from man, but the freedom that comes from God (2 Cor. 3:17 “For the Lord is the Spirit, and wherever the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.”) An elderly lady stood up and testified.
I thank the lord for this moment, I could have stayed home and laid on my bed…but, I came…I came…I broke down crying because I thought of myself. I could have stayed home playing that same game and kept living the same miserable way as before, but by God’s mercy, I came to be set free.
Jesus tore the chains from me and set me free to live a life full of joy, blessings, and the Holy Spirit. From that day, I lived in freedom.