Woman, Harley, Road

Pray for my Marriage

John 16:24

Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete.

I feel like I don’t know where to start…how did things get this bad? I guess I will start with confession. Many people go through things and blame or see fault in others immediately, but I know that I must first confess to the most high God and repent of all of my sins. God pllllleeeaaasseee forgive ME Lord!

There was a time where I was proud and built up in money and self. Well let me tell you that no one can strip you like God. When he says, enough is enough, you better listen. I did have signs – true Christians telling me what would happen if I didn’t spend more time with my husband, value him more, honor him more. Boy where they right.

I was cold and distant for a while. I just thought about my needs and dreams for our marriage. I didn’t truly open myself to his needs as a man. I thought well why should I satisfy him and make him happy when he isn’t making me happy. All the devil and his workers on this earth need to see is a crack in a door opening and they will move full steam ahead! I give no glory or space to the devil. he is a defeated foe and NO MATTER THE FINAL OUTCOME – I KNOW THAT MY GOD CAN AND WILL DO ANYTHING HE PLEASES FOR HIS GLORY!

When my husband reached out to me after being so closed, I was closed. When I saw that he was leaving me, abandoning ship, I reached out to him… he was/is/seems to be closed. His heart seems to be of stone. He actually told me that I don’t get to have it my way because I now want children and a happy home. Part of what he says about me turning around at the 11h hour is true but guess what, God still wants to get the Glory out of this situation.

I say I feel like I don’t know what to do or say but I do. I know I must pray, fall on my face before God- for direction, guidance, love, emotional fulfillment and complete surrender. Why does it seem so hard to pray at a time where I need God most?

I have been a Christian all my life, now more real but still not perfect. Why can’t I get it together? It’s that I know the way and truly try to live in God’s teachings every day. The wages of sin are death – this is sooo true – I must remember that the gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus.

Deuteronomy 8:2

And thou shalt remember all the way which the LORD thy God led thee these forty years in the wilderness, to humble thee, and to prove thee, to know what was in thine heart, whether thou wouldest keep his commandments, or no

I just have to do right; I just have to lift up a standard for Jesus. No matter the outcome as long as his will be done. I love my husband and I didn’t tell him that enough until now. We were married 5 years. He moved out Feb. 9, 2009. He divorced me June 1, 2009.

I was traveling around the world working and spending money. Taking us on lavish trips and shopping sprees and complaining about the income he wasn’t making. He was a bit too comfortable with me being the earner but he was with me as I was acting like head chief!!!

What a foolish mistake.

Now we are not together BUT – we still attend church together every Sunday. He comes to my family affairs. He loves my mom. I didn’t realize my ways until it was soo far off. I looked at his cell phone and saw he was communicating with another woman.

I was devastated. Many would say I drove him to that. Actually, that doesn’t matter, what matters is that I do love him STILL but out communication is glaringly broken/wounded and only God can work this out if it is in his will!

Do you ever feel like you need a sign or to truly hear from the Lord like NOW!!! Well, I GUESS that is me. I am right here now God and I know you have seen it all and I know you love and care for me. Please help me and show me the way. For 2 years now I tried to work it out or work on it – be silent – keep smiling while crying for about a year. I just need an answer to this long suffering. I do see my ways. I know that I too must turn from all evil in vanity and pride.

I am at the lowest place in my life. I know that you are here with me holding me. I’m not even walking at this point – it is you that are carrying me. Help Lord, please help. For my testimony and for your glory – your will be done. That is all I can say. I love you Jesus and I know you love me and will never leave me or forsake me. Thank you for being there for me – through it all. Thank you!

Well, keep me in your prayers and I will pray for you. Please also pray for my ex-husband/my husband? Only God knows the outcome. He is thinking about not coming to church anymore. We all know he needs to assemble himself around true Christians, even if it is not at the church I attend. All of our issues are just right for God. His has the answer to all of our perplexities. He knows us through and through and is waiting for us to confess, be sincere and turn it over to him completely.

It’s yours Lord.


  1. Wale 7/22/2010
  2. ev4304 7/22/2010
  3. payth 7/23/2010
  4. Sam 7/28/2010
  5. Sam 7/28/2010
  6. ev4304 7/28/2010
  7. Ebere .O 7/29/2010
  8. Sam 7/29/2010
  9. wale 7/29/2010
  10. Joey 8/5/2010
  11. Brittany 11/4/2010
  12. purefirenow 12/25/2010
  13. Elavarasi 2/13/2011
  14. joseph 2/27/2011
  15. Arun 4/3/2011
  16. Sethi 9/13/2011

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