“May grace and peace be to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. 1 Corinthians 1:3
My name is Aqeel Gill. I want to share my testimony with you and hope that God gives you the chance to come to Him through this testimony.
I would like to start from my early age, what I was. How Jesus Christ changed my life. When I was about thirteen, I started smoking cigarettes. Day by day, this habit turned into drugs and alcohol.
Why am I writing these things?
You need to know what problems or burdens were on my shoulders. The sin that was crushing my soul.
I was born in a village in Punjab, Pakistan. I spent my childhood in this village. My parents decided to move from this small village to the city. So, I would have the opportunity to create new things and leave my past behind. I passed the eighth-grade exam with flying colors and then I chose friends who were not good for my life. The Lord was giving me the opportunity to change my life and make it better.
I knew God was calling me every day, but every day I was running away from Him. I got involved again in the affairs of my life (drugs and alcohol) and this time the pain was greater. I failed my school four times. I attempted suicide once. For me, everything was like the end of the world.
I did not care for anything, feelings for loved ones. Life in this world was like hell. Failure, drugs, suicide. The problem was that I believed in God, but my heart was far from Him. I did not accept Him wholeheartedly.
Okay, time was passing, and I was still where I had started. No education, no healthy life, no purpose in life. One day my parents told me to drop them off at a prayer meeting. A pastor who came to the city from Canada and was a man of God. I took them there and suddenly my father asked me to join them for some time, I could not say no I have work, or I have to go do some bad work.
I go with them, and I join this meeting and at the end, the pastor said now you come here, and I will pray for each one of you and if there is a message from the Lord for you, I will inform you with His words. I did not believe in visions or prophecies. A soft voice that I heard was saying you need to go forward and pray with the pastor.
I stood with this pastor, and he started praying for me and he said the Lord Jesus tells me that you will continue your studies and I will take you to nations and I will prepare you for my work. You will testify in nations. Here my life was about to change, and I thought tomorrow or in a month I would go abroad and start my education there and everything would be exciting and wonderful.
I was wrong.
“Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails.” Proverbs 19:21
My wait for this prophecy to be fulfilled begins. Months and months pass then a year passes. I was not on God’s path. I was trying to make my own way with my understanding.
After a year someone asks my family if we are interested in Canada. I was ready and I said do it this is the time for God’s words to come true (prophecy). I applied for a visa and submitted my papers. Waiting is part of God’s ways but waiting for something is hard.
After a year I found out that this person who offered me a visa to Canada was a fraud. How can you believe that a prophecy will not be fulfilled? I lost my hope and trust in him again.
I was clean until that year, until I realized I was not going anywhere. I prayed to him regularly and I told him to fulfill his promise in my life through this procedure. And when everything was lost, I left God again and took my own path. This time I had no hope or trust. I was walking blindly. It was dark and there was no light in me.
Now I was into drugs, alcoholism, and rejected. Job 19:7-9:
“Although I cry, ‘Violence!’ I got no response. Although I call for help, there is no justice. He has blocked my way so I cannot pass. He has shrouded my paths in darkness. He has stripped me of my honor. And taken the crown from my head.”
I was depressed and hopeless. Meanwhile, I met a girl and we talked. I started to like her until I decided to marry her. She said yes. We are engaged. I felt like I came back to this world. I have a reason to live. After a while, we broke up and we broke this engagement.
Now there was an addition of a broken relationship in my weird life. I was angry I questioned why God does not let me be happy. Why does he take good things from me? A few months later my heartbeat was getting faster. I told my sister. She worked in a hospital; they asked me to come to the hospital so they could do some tests. I went there and did the tests and the doctor said you have heart disease. I am referring you to another doctor so we can find out what the real problem is.
The next day I went there, and the doctor did all the necessary tests. Electrocardiogram.
Angiography. And some other tests. The diagnosis was that I have a hole in my heart (Congenital Heart Defects). Now this was something new in my life but not commendable. I had no dreams, no thoughts, no future.
After this news, I started spending time with the Lord Jesus because I was afraid of death.
“Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.” Psalm 23:4
I did not know where I came from and where I would go back. During this time, I thought of everything I had done in my past years, is there any work that can make a place for me in heaven? Will I be forgiven? Is there anyone who still cares about me? Will the Lord accept me? Many questions that were out of my mind. I could not sleep. I was worried what would happen when I sleep peacefully.
Here I stop to let you think about your life. What is happening in your life? Are you thinking about a failure, a broken relationship, suffering from an illness, waiting for the future, struggling for a successful marriage, thinking about suicide? Come back to Jesus Christ spend time in His presence pray to Him.
I started praying to the Lord again this time. Not for some blessing or reward or solution to problems but to know Him who made me a promise.
“But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” Matthew 6:33
I praised the Lord and started thanking Him for what I had, I was more involved in heavenly things than the world. I was seeking the kingdom of the Lord.
I was always curious about how the Lord creates us in the mother’s womb.
“For you created my inmost being you knit me together in my mother’s womb.” Psalm 139:13
He knows our names from the first day. He knows what will happen in our lives. Our whole life is an open book before the Lord.
On the other hand, I would like to tell you that there are free we will either walk with the Lord or choose our own paths. There is no promise if we choose to stay with the Lord Jesus Christ our lives in this world will be easy or there will be no troubles, pain, burdens, tears, troubles.
Life is not fair, but the Lord is just.
Without Him, we cannot face the things that come into our lives, we cannot find peace, love, gentleness. But nothing is more precious than the soul of man.
“What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul?” Matthew 16:26
My parents asked about the operation. Why should I live? Why do I need an operation when I have no future in front of my eyes? I decided I do not want any operation I will pray to the Lord Jesus that if He wants to heal me and give me another chance then I will live, and He will heal me of this disease, and I will stay in His presence.
“He said, ‘If you listen carefully to the Lord your God and do what is right in his eyes, if you pay attention to his commands and keep all his decrees, I will not bring on you any of the diseases I brought on the Egyptians, for I am the Lord, who heals you.'” Exodus 15:26
A few months later my parents asked me if I want to go to Kyrgyzstan (Russia) to continue my education. I prayed to the Lord, and I heard the voice to go there.
We are four siblings. At that time two of them were studying in Kyrgyzstan. My brother applied for A/o Levels admission, and I went to Kyrgyzstan. I did not think about the prophecy the pastor had told me years ago.
My peace and I started my journey without any expectations. I am the one who failed four times in school. I passed every exam from here.
“I can do all this through him who gives me strength.” Philippians 4:13
I met a pastor but for me, he is a brother, friend, teacher. I started my spiritual education with my marital education and got involved in knowing the Bible that is the word of the Lord Jesus. I took up my cross and followed Jesus. The covenant the Lord Jesus made with me He fulfilled his promise, and I finished college now I am doing be bachelor’s in law in Kazakhstan.
I am walking in the light. He who chose me is light.
I hope you will seek Jesus. You may also be in some trial like me. Keep praying to the Lord and it is better to let His decisions be fulfilled in our lives. Now the Lord who is the source of peace, may He always and in every way give you peace. The Lord be with you all.
May the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you all.