Sexual sin (especially porn/masturbation) are things that a lot of Christians are afraid to talk about when they are in it. We know it’s not good, and we often wonder how we allowed ourselves to get into it when it goes against everything we believe in. It becomes a dirty little secret (literally) and it can be hard to get free from something that you yourself are helping to hide.
This was me. Sexual sin started long before I became sexually active in college. The seeds started to be planted when I was a young girl. We all know the story – I felt rejected because my father wasn’t around very much, and so I wanted desperately to be in a relationship. That was like the ultimate goal of my life. But not only that, but I was exposed to a lot of things a young girl shouldn’t have been (not even an adult actually) – I saw a lot of raunchy music videos (including those that came on in the late night), my dad had stacks of dirty magazines that were in plain view that he did not hide when we came to visit, he had filthy photos of the girls he was dating laying around the house, every time you turn on the tv it would be on a dirty channel, etc. So my eyes were exposed to a lot of sexual immorality before I even hit age 10.
I became intrigued with this whole world, so I began to explore on my own. The girls looked like they were the ones that all the guys wanted; they looked happy, and it actually made me want to be a part of it in a weird way. So as a young girl, I began to watch pornographic videos and I became even more intrigued. But, eventually – after sharing this with my friends at school – I knew what I was doing was bad, so I stopped. And this video watching thing became something I did on and off in secret until I sometime high school and I just stopped (again).
Then it continued (again) once I got a boyfriend during my last year in college who was very much bound by the spirit of lust. He couldn’t go a day without pleasuring himself a couple times a day. He would constantly call and ask me to help him, and he was an avid “video watcher” so he encouraged me to join him. I didn’t really want to because I hated the dirty feeling afterward, but he was persistent (and I wanted to be a “cool girlfriend”), so I did.
But this time, for some reason, it wasn’t so easy to stop like it was all the other times. I began to get bound myself where I didn’t have control over it anymore. It was all I thought about all day, I couldn’t wait to get home so that I could watch porn and masturbate. Even long after the relationship has been over. I tried to take control over it, but to no avail – I cried out every time to God asking Him to help me stop because I knew it was disappointing to Him.
He constantly provided the way of escape that I completely and utterly ignored. But getting free wasn’t very easy, as this was something I was dealing with for nearly 20 years of my life, seeing as how the immorality came in at such a young age and I didn’t know anything about deliverance or spirits of lust and things like that until I was older. When I decided to become free, I was getting attacked by the enemy in my sleep, he would hold me down some nights, and he would give me all kinds of lust-filled dreams other times. I knew this was an unclean spirit and asked God to deliver me from it. And I’m so thankful that HE did!!
I dealt with the attacks for a year, but it was because I didn’t even try to overcome it or ask for understanding or anything like that. I began to be fearful of it which is not what you want to do. God is in control, no weapon formed against me shall be able to prosper, by His stripes I am healed. Put on the full armor of God, and fight that thing with the sword of the spirit! It has no choice but to go!
I thank God that He has set me free and delivered me. I pray that if anyone is dealing with anything remotely similar that you would claim and accept your deliverance that Christ has won for you over 2000 years ago. I feel like that is a silent issue because people get ashamed, but don’t be. There are so many people that have gone through the same things as you! Be encouraged! Don’t keep your testimony a secret!!
Many thanks for having the courage to share your honest testimony, offering hope to women who deal with these issues because of life’s hurts!
I’m also struggling with Lust, pornography and masturbation. I always keep praying for this to stop. I hope you can pray for me!
I cast out the spirit of lust from Ella, in Jesus name. Oh Lord, purify and sanctify her with Your blood. Help her to fulfill Your purpose for her life, in Jesus name we have prayed.
Hi Ella. I would like to be your friend. To help you. A friend of mine is suffering too and that’s y we wa heal…
Contact me on instagram. My holder is Musimenta_joy Thank you.
Gurl me too.I struggled with that spirit of sexual lust in fornication,masturbation,and porn.The devil used to attack me too in my sleep the same way when I decided to give all my life to Christ.But thank God!!! He delivered me from that.
To God be the Glory
I also struggled with lust, pornography etc. I was molested as a child, and had a lot of other men touch me inappropriately until I was in highschool. I had this deep desire to have sex, but never found a man to have intercourse with. All my relationships ended up in foreplay, and I kept telling myself a lie that I’m not having sex so it’s ok. All in all, it was the devil. I was sinning, it wasn’t God’s truth, the devil was deceiving me. Recently, I got into a relationship with a man who didn’t know Jesus (he just accepted Jesus about three weeks ago), and we were having sexual relations, we didn’t have full blown intercourse, and I started to think this isn’t bad at all, but again, it was all al lie from satan. Fornication is still sexual sin.
I then repented and asked my boyfriend to forgive me for bringing him into my decision to sin. I asked him to delete all my pictures (naked), all videos (naked), and all our texts that were just nasty. I repented from my thoughts as well, and asked the holy spirit to clean my heart. Since then, I have freedom, and for the first time, it’s real. Real freedom.
I’m not a woman but please pray for me. I’ve struggled with this sin for so long. I hate it and don’t know how to get rid of it even in my 40s. I’m seeking a wife. I haven’t found one. I wonder if God will let me have one. I’m damaged. So pray for me and my confidence. I hurt a lot and I feel sad a lot but I love God and he loves me and I’m strong and ill be ok. Thanks for your post you’re very brave. God bless.
Praying for you, brother. It is difficult to get rid of but with God all things are possible. He has all power in His hand and it saddens Him to see His child struggle. He wants you to be free, you ARE already free in Jesus. He overcame this for you on the cross. Claim that. You also have to be proactive and dig deep and see what happened in your life that opened the door to lust, repent of your sins and sins done to you, seek healing/forgiveness for the root cause of it. Because after all, this is just a manifestation of something deeper. Is it rejection? Sexual assault? Also, get rid of whatever the catalyst is that brings you to it (maybe alcohol, or certain music, tv shows, etc.). Put child blocks on all your devices, get a trusted accountability partner (that’s not also battling this), and seek wise counsel. Maybe there’s someone at church that you can talk to. This is such a common thing but so many people hide it. You can do it! Revelation 12:11 “we overcame him (the enemy) by the Blood of The Lamb and by the word of our testimony”. Also read Psalm 101, it will convict you every time you feel tempted. God bless!!
I have struggled with Lust, for a long time it’s been 30 years, and I am struggling. I feel embarrassed because I am an intercessory and praying for people with their problems and here I am still struggling with porn. I want help but I do not know how to stay committed to God, with this sin. Please I need help.
As you said you intercede for people, I believe you are already born again genuinely. You need to rededicate your life unto God. You ask God to root out every root of sin from you as you rededicate your life unto God.
It is now your mind that is next. You need to cut off any thing that could lead to the lustful sin from your mind. You need to fill your mind with the word of God. As a man thinks in his heart (mind), so he is. It is what you occupy your mind with that will control ones action. May the Holy Spirit fully Renew your mind in Jesus name.
Then the last is your body, flesh. You have to cut off from whatever that will want to lead you into the lustful sin. If it is online, you have to strive to prevent yourself from visiting such site. May the Lord empower your body to overcome every lust in Jesus name.
Shall we pray?
Oh Lord, Ellis has come unto you, let Your word that whosoever that call upon You shall be saved be fulfilled upon him. Oh Lord deliver Ellis from lustful sin. Empower Ellis to live a holy life from now and let Ellis fully fulfill Your purpose for him/her. Thank You Lord for the answered prayer, in Jesus name we have prayed.