Placing my trust in worldly things had been done for many years without actually knowing it.
When I was finished with school I needed to find a job and basically a direction for my life to go in. I applied to become a learner at out local steel factory but before that I found a two week temporary job at a animal food store. After my time was up I only worked a few Saturdays and two other days for a construction company for the rest of the year.
The next year I finally got accepted into the learner program at the steel factory. I thought the direction that I seeked after school had finally been found. Everything went well until the fifth month when the job started getting to me. The job was very repetitive and almost half of the work days were twelve hour shifts. At one point I just thought everything is over now. The direction I had was downhill and it felt like my life was just going to be constant torture. I was very thankful for the job even while I was feeling like that but in the end I was miserable. One day out of complete desperation and hopelessness I asked God what should I do. I instantaneously got an answer.
The answer I received was to become a teacher. I always thought about one day doing a degree in history because it is one of my main interests. I had the direction from God but did not know how it will be possible to study because of financial reasons. To sum it up God provided for every year and not once throughout did I ever short any money.
And as God had it be, the town where I live had a campus of one of our biggest universities, only 6km from my house. The Lord even provided the means to continue with my postgraduate studies and while currently writing this I am busy with the third degree.
Back to finishing my first and second degree, I started searching for a job thinking now my working life officially starts. I wasn’t not filled with enthusiasm and from the beginning thought that I will only work at the school for maximum one year before finding a better position. I started as an arts and culture teacher at a primary school. My situation was I studied history and also furthered my studies to end up teaching art and culture at a primary school.
The school itself was also horrible. The children went out of their way to defy the teachers; they did as as they pleased because of the limited rights that teachers have in my country. So to sum it up, I was basically where I was five and a half years before, having no direction and feeling like my whole world crashed in an instant.
Better positions passed me by that I was more than qualified to get. I left the school for two reasons. One to be instantly available for a better position and two, because I could just plainly not take it any more. It was at that school for the first time in my adult life I wished death upon people. So I quit.
On the day I quit, I felt like a complete failure. After I worked my notice period when I was at home during the day for the first time I just cried out of the feeling of being a complete failure. Then it dawned on me. From the time I was finished with school I always told myself that if I get a qualification then everything will be great. The problem being my trust was shifted to worldly possessions and not God. When I actually thought it through, I placed my trust in a piece of paper and not completely in God. It was done consciously but I was never conscious about it. For eigt years I placed my trust in a qualification, first to get one and then when I had two God had to remove the shells from my eyes, the shells of trusting worldy possessions over him whilst thinking I am only trusting him. My eyes were opened and I confessed and placed everything at his feet.
The second day after I finished at the school I got a temporary assistant job at the university and I could work from home. I also got a few other assistant jobs there. The salary was good and the jobs were great. I had a good income but still had no new direction. Everyday I prayed for the right job because my assistant jobs had limited lifespans. The one way my prayers changed was to ask for God’s will only and not mine in anyway. I did not ask for a specific job that I thought will be perfect because my will always ended up in a massive crash. I placed God’s will at the centre of my prayer for a job.
One day when finishing discussing work at the university one of my bosses asked if I would lecture history the following year. I quickly replied with a “definitely”. It was completely unexpected and I had to wait a week for final confirmation. When he confirmed I was just extremely thankful. I always wanted to lecture history and could not figure out how I will get a lecturing job at the university because they already had one. The curriculums and structures changed at the university and they needed an extra lecturer.
Through a rough year spiritually even when I just left a job God still provided in ways that I could not have imagined. So now I have my dream job and focus on only seeking God’s will in all aspects of my life. His will is good and the wills of people lead to destruction and chaos.
Up until this point in my life I have learned to only seek the will of God and also to ask for it in all things. I have seen and experienced how God can use anything to get us on the correct path, even that which is deemed extremely valuable can be “wasted” so that is will come to pass and that he can be glorified. This shows that we need not worry because he can provide in all ways and also everything according to His will.
To anyone who faces such a situation or any situation for that matter, place your trust upon God and ask for his will to come to pass and not yours. Sometimes God’s will is tough to live through but in the end when you look back it may be clear how God worked to let everything work out for those that love him to glorify him.
With a thankful heart I can confess that God is good.