Hello, I would like to ask for some prayers. I don’t want to get into all of my problems, but the main thing I need is a much bigger amount of faith, and boldness. I have a great amount of fear, even for just talking about faith around others. And even from doctrine differences, like preterism. And even in general, I may try to read as much as I can against the thing I am struggling with. But that amount of doubt still lingers, even if I know that thing is not true.
And even in general, I have a lot of problems socially, like even trying to talk with others, it just seems no one wants to be friends with me, or my awkwardness or not knowing what to talk about brings great harm to relationships. I try a lot to act otherwise, but by now it is quite clear that God is the one to bring the change.
I desire to have the same Holy Spirit baptism, infilling and change that the Apostles, and even the past revival leaders received. I have been in the “dark night of the soul,” “shadow of death,” “wilderness” experience, whatever you want to call it. I understand now that God uses it for those He wishes to use, but I want to be used greatly by Him, not have all these problems and being a coward.
Jesus says that when He clothes us with power, then we will be His witnesses. That is what I need, to be able to be a witness to Him. And I want to have much more intimacy, to be much more aware of what the Holy Spirit wants me to do.
I know that is a lot, and have not touched on all my problems, but any prayer would be appreciated. God bless.