HI! I have an Aunt who was in a very serious car accident in September 2009. She was in hospital for months and months then to a rehab.
She is a very special Aunt to me. She lives in a State I simply love as well. When she was in rehab I was asked if I would be willing to come help her, come help her get through therapy and out of the nursing home and back to home.
I thought a lot about it and thought I could do it. So I gave up all that I had, moved my 18 yr old son in with his sister and moved here to help. While she was in the nursing home it was ok…it was a lot of work going in and encouraging her through her therapy. She was resistant and I think she had grown to accept where she was and her condition.
But she made it through, and they discharged her to home. She still couldn’t walk on her own and had a lot of problems, but I thought home would be best for her. so did her family.
We got her home. She has a husband and 3 grown kids. While in the nursing home the kids did not visit her very often at all. The husband did what he had to do as far as visiting. About an hour and a half each evening even n the weekends. I could understand why she was depressed and accepted where she was…
But anyways, I got her home. At first, she wouldn’t eat very good and all she wanted to do was sleep. I gave her a week to adjust. She is not the strong driven woman she used to be and that is hard to get use to as well. She never says please get me …she just says give me a drink of water.
Her hubby, my Uncle, has been at times a little mean to me and they do not pay me anything for being here and helping. At first, I was doing it 24/7 but then told them I could not do it that much that I needed help on the weekends. So her hubby would help a little.
As an example, a friend of mine came to visit me and this was before she was discharged from hospital. When my Aunt heard my friend was here for a visit, she got all sad and I asked what was wrong. She said now that he is here, he will talk you into going back home and I will never get out of here.
I told her that was not true, not even a worry. Later my Uncle went to see her and when he got home, I asked how she was, and he got mean. He said not very good….I said WHY He said she was upset that my friend was here. I asked my Uncle if he had reassured her that I was here and I was staying. and his exact words were NO I told her she was dumb to rely on you. That she should never have gotten her heart set on me staying and helping her. HE said she let you down once and I will do it again. He said I was nothing but butterfly.!! I cried. I went back to the nursing home and assured her again that he was just visiting and that was all. When he left, she was relieved but my Uncle never even bothered to apologize.
Taking care of her here at home is a full-time job. She needs help eating, going to the bathroom taking a shower, etc. Then her daughter asked me if I would start watching her 5-year-old son. I told her no. I said I cannot do both and I do not like to babysit and do not want to do it. I think I was doing enough for them already.
I do all the care of my Aunt, keep the house cleaned, cook supper, do laundry, etc. When I told my Aunt and Uncle I would not be babysitting they actually got mad. My Aunt said “well I just hate to see her have to pay someone to watch him.” But I said as nice as I could I am sorry but I just cannot do both, I have my hands full enough with taking care of you. But even after telling them her daughter continually tries to get me to watch the kid.
Since she has been home, which has only been 3 wks. She has had to be hospitalized twice. First time was heart issues, she was in A Fib and not feeling well, etc. While she was in the hospital, I took the time to go back home and visit my family. I also had a ver important drs appointment with my specialist so I figured I would go and do that and then visit a few days. I let them all know and told them I would be back on Sunday.
Well she got discharged early and Thursday night my cousin, her daughter started texting me asking me if I could be home the next morning. I told her no…I said I was told that they could handle it and I would be bacck Sunday. Well she got mad because thiss meant she would have to help take care of her mom for a day or two. she started texting me and being quite mean and rude. I had enough and came back early Saturday morning. I was not happy.
when I got back I was giving my Aunt a shower because no one else had bothered to give her one and I felt something hard on the back of her neck so i looked and shockingly there was a screw tangled in her haair. When I looked closer I could see that one of her incisions from surgery had split open and a screw that they had placed in her neck had come out and one was hanging out. I was mortified. So she had to be readmitted and have surgery to get it cleaned, etc. she is still having heart issues and is still in hospital. I have been to the hospital which is over an hour a way every day. today I spent all day there, 12 hours. Her daughter has gone once for about an hour and both her sons have gone once.
Now that she is getting ready to be discharged I am realizing that I cannot do this. I cannot keep taking care of her. I miss my family back home. I do not like the way they treat me and take advantage of me and to be perfectly honest….I do not think I am qualified to give her the help she needs. I think she needs a ccertified Aide or even a nurse to take care of her properly. And I am even wondering if she should be placed back in the nursing home for more rehab because I am worried, we got her out too soon.
now if I tell her family this, they will hate me and tell me to get out. I will no longer be welcome here and I am sure they will make me leave on the spot.
I do not know what to do. I do not want to be here. I do not think I should be taking care of her, and I do not think I am qualified enough to take care of her. I don’t know what to do…I am lost. I want out and I have no clue what to do …. I know this time when she comes home from hospital, she is going to need even more care and I just cannot do it….what should I do? I need God’s guidance now more than ever!! PLEASE PLEASE ANY ADVICE, PRAYERS..ANYTHING!! Will be so so appreciated!! THANKS
Your aunt and her family have been using you dreadfully. Of that I am certain! I wish I could tell you what the Lord would have you do, and I will pray that He will make it clear to you. In your situation, I KNOW I would pack my bags and get out of there.
Angelwannabe – you are an angel already. Just the fact that you came back early and have not packed your bags have proved such a fact.
You have asked for God’s guidance and I feel that when your Aunt returns-you should pray WITH her! You stated that she is not the “strong driven woman she use to be and that is hard to get use to as well. She never says please get me….she just says give me a drink of water….”. But you have never stated if she is/was a Christian. You are bringing your Faith with you but are you sharing the strength that is keeping you going? You may need (no demand) from your aunt a time of the day to pray together. Her faith is faltering because of her situation. I can only say this because I am recovering from an automobile accident and am trying to walk myself without help – not sure if I ever will again. But I was blessed with my mother living with me prior and she assists me in daily duties (children and housework) that I cannot do at this time. I was very driven woman as your aunt but I have always worked hard to keep HIM first. I am opposite from her aunt – as I have a difficult time accepting help! But I am thankful for it! Your Aunt doesn’t seem to remember or has not had to opportunity to KNOW HIM in that he is always helping us thru others.
Let her know why you are there! That it is because you LOVE her – but you will not be unappreciated. Your aunt is unfortunately now behaving as her children and husband have been – unloving (especially in the daughter asking you to take care of a child also and being upset when you don’t!!). Thru HIS grace I did not require immediate hospital surgery but your Aunt’s condition sounds as if professional help is needed. Since you are the one who is primarily in the hospital for 12 hours a day- start inquiring into the steps for professional care. As you have stated you are not a professional and you would be doing her a disservice if you did not look into because certainly her husband and children don’t care enough – but you do. You have to get back to your life – and your Aunt’s family needs a timeframe as to when you are leaving – so they can appreciate what you have been doing!
You have been amazing in holding back in dealing with your family. “The Lord shall fight for you, and ye shall hold your peace”..Exodus 13:14
If I were you I would start be inquiring into professional services for your Aunt because her recuperation could take the rest of her & your life (I am only speaking from my own experience – I may never heal but I am Thankful and I feel blessed and I tell all who help me so, Because HE love me). To say all that I believe you are truly earning your wings – it is easy to see that you are not appreciated and your family is in need of a Spiritual shower 🙂
Peace and Blessings!
Blessed are you sister. Blessed are you..
First, take a deep breath of grace, and exhale any negative feelings, emotions, thoughts, etc. Get into a perfect union with Christ. You’ll know you are there through the peace, the joy, love, kindness, contentment, relaxation, etc type thoughts.
There is a great stirring up of turmoil in your words. frustration, stress, etc. As I read your words, I felt the muscles around my head tighten up. I felt you. oh man. One Spirit. I love you, k? and now I cry with your anguish in my heart. Please hear me out.
I cry because this is not God, it is flesh. The evil one seeks to steal, kill and destroy. Do not be ignorant of his devices. He is good at what he does, he is the father of lies, deception, and a thief. He has stolen your joy. Remember the Joy in your heart when you agreed to this? Remember the Love? Remember the patience? Remember the fruit of the Spirit? Where is it?
Your words… they show great anguish and turmoil, and my heart is breaking because I know… I know these things too well. If you know that this will cause a huge falling out in the family, this doesn’t sound like God, but it sounds like Satan.
Don’t let the wicked one steal the seeds of Christ out of your heart my beloved sister. All of the thoughts that were typed…and the feelings I felt, they brought upon feelings opposite those of God.
So what I’m getting at here is it’s time to pray.. Lord Jesus, you said to speak against the mountain, so I speak.. In your name Jesus.. I command the wicked one away from this situation. I command you satan, let His people go! Pry your nasty fingers off of my sister, away from her family and away from this situation. Be bound up by the written word of God Almighty and be cast into the depths of the sea. Be gone satan, in the name of all that is Holy, Just, Righteous and Good.. Jesus Christ, Amen. Father God, I pray for a filling of the Holy Spirit amongst this situation. You are our Helper, our Guide… Help us Helper, Guide us Guider… Lead us Leader.. Teach us Teacher.. Fill our cup Lord so that we may have good wisdom and knowledge in this situation. Lord, help my beloved sister. Prince of Peace, please Jesus, lay with her and hold her heart and mind.. Grant her that peace that surpasses all understanding, which is only there through you Lord. Thank you for turning your ear towards me Lord, thank you. Bless your Holy name Jesus, amen.
Sister, He is with you and will never forsake you. Find that place with Christ… the place where this situation does not exist. No stress, worry, frustration, anxiety, etc. Then just hold on to Jesus, and ask Him what you should do. Do not let the flesh come through.. Be very watchful for your own ideas, your emotions, feelings, stress, etc. Trust in the Lord with all thy heart, and lean not on your own understanding.
I heard a story once about 2 sisters who were working with Mother Theresa. They went to a place and they washed a man. They ran back to Mother Theresa full of excitement. They said “We just spent 2 hours washing the body of Jesus Christ.” Are you currently bathing Him and feeding Him every day?
God just revealed to me that I am on the right path. I typed that previous paragraph then did a google search for scripture. What I found was a letter by Mother Theresa on my first click.
3 Blessed are the poor in spirit,
For theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
4 Blessed are those who mourn,
For they shall be comforted.
5 Blessed are the meek,
For they shall inherit the earth.
6 Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
For they shall be filled.
7 Blessed are the merciful,
For they shall obtain mercy.
8 Blessed are the pure in heart,
For they shall see God.
9 Blessed are the peacemakers,
For they shall be called sons of God.
10 Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness sake, For theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
YOU ARE BLESSED. In love w/ you,
joseph
serious-things.com
Hi,
My dear i have written a prayer for you to confess as many times as possible on behalf of you aunt but remember one thing as Mark 11:24 says Whatsoever you ask for in prayer first believe that you have received it and then it shall be yours.
Don’t ever doubt that the lord won’t work, when people inquire about your aunt say she is improving the lord is in control of the situation. Thank the lord always for she is healed, don’t wait to see signs, god says you beleive that she is healed and she shall be. Faith moves god.
Confess this as many times a day as you can
Prayer :- (Instead of I use your aunts name)
I am the body of Christ and satan has no power over him. For I overcome evil with good. I am of God and have overcome satan. For greater is He that is in me than he that is in the world. I will fear no evil, for Thou art with me Lord. Your Word and Your Spirit, they comfort me. I am far from oppression and fear does not come near me. No weapon formed against me shall prosper, for my righteousness is of the Lord. But whatsoever I do will prosper, for I’m like a tree planted by the rivers of water. I am delivered from the evils of this present world, for it is the will of God concerning me. No evil will befall me. Neither shall any plague come near my dwelling. For the Lord has given His angels charge over me, and they keep me in all their ways. And in my pathway is life and there is no death. I am a doer of the Word of God and I am blessed in my deeds. I am happy in these things which i do because i am a doer of the word of god and i take the shield of faith and i quench every feiry dart that the wicked one brings against me. Christ has redeemed me from the curse of law, therefore i forbid any disease or sickness to come over this body, every disease, every virus that touches my body dies instantly in the name of Jesus. Every organ, every tissue of my body functions in the perfection to which god created it to function and i forbid any malfunction in my body in the name of Jesus i am an overcomer and i overcome by the blood of the lamb and by the word of my testimony. I am submitted to God and the devil flees from me because i resist him in the name of Jesus. The word of God is forever settled in heaven therefore i establish his word upon this earth. Great is my peace for i am taught of the lord, I am protected, healthy, anointed, whole nothing broken nothing missing in my life. In the name of Jesus.
Email me if you need anything : dsouzasienna977 at gmail dot com
I surely hope that you will leave that place. You have certainly taken good care of your aunt. But the family is taking so much advantage with out gratefullness to you. It is the responsibility of the children and husband to care for the aunt. Not yours.
Get your life back and enjoy your family. Your son needs you. Let the family get someone certified to care for your aunt. I surely hope that your aunt appreciates you.
Please pray for my boyfriend and I, that we can please work things out, we really love each other a lot. Please pray that if its Gods will we can get back together.
Peace to you sister,
Gods been with us, all this time, its just that some of us keep denying him and end up on the wrong path witch lead to a dead end. you yourself are from God you are walking in his way by loving your neighbor as yourself putting yourself last and others first. Our father and lord love us all especially when we acknowledge the most high and follow in his ways. Your aunt can be healed in the name of the father ask and you will receive knock and the door will open seek and you will find, Stand firm with God and he can guide you, way better then any of us, in the name lord Jesus amen
I dont know what to say dear.
I will do what I can. I will pray for you. You are going to have this hardships end at the earliest. Jesus loves you.
Wondering what path was chosen, and how it ended up for you..