This testimony is long overdue. I always believe Revelation 19:10, where it says that it is the spirit of prophecy who bears testimony to Jesus. Hence what God did in my life can be done in your life too!
I still remember growing up I always had high ambitions, always sought out to achieve a task or a title which seemed challenging. I grew up in a Christian home and knew God was in control, but He was just the God of my needs not somebody who I considered a friend. It was all in my head and like somebody once said the longest journey is from the head to the heart! Well it was true in my case, all that I learnt about Jesus and the Bible was up there in my head and only when storms come my way I use to run to Jesus and faithful that He is, He always came to my rescue.
I got out of school being a topper and in 12th was the second topper. While studying my bachelor’s in commerce, I got into the professional exams called chartered accountants (CA) in India which are similar to the CPA exams held in the western countries.
I always believed that with hard work anything is achievable and use to silently criticize the one’s who wouldn’t clear exams in general, For the one’s who aren’t familiar with these exams I’ll share a little background info: there are three levels of exams : the first one is CPT, next IPCC and lastly the most challenging one CA Final. I cleared the first two without any hassles while I was still doing my bachelor’s in commerce. I graduated with good marks and immediately after which I got into one of the big four audit firms.
Going from a college into a corporate firm was a huge culture shock. I couldn’t relate to many people and had nothing in common to do small talk, these days were a bit depressing I journaled a lot during these days but it was God who got me through. And immediately after this is where I was stuck in a cycle of repeated failures trying to clear my final stage of CA. When i did not clear and nothing in the world made sense I remember my sister gifting me a pink covered Bible and I remember thinking why now a bible as I already had one? Specially as I felt God had deserted me and looking back all I can think is the timing was apt and this bible has seen my ups and downs and has a ton of memories and is one of the best gifts I ever received.
I buried myself in studies, shut myself off from my friends, from social media, from the entire world. And this period is what I call the waiting room!
I recall people around me even well-wishers would say, maybe it’s not God’s will for you to be a CA, you might as well get to work full-time. I use to cry myself to sleep asking why would you bring me so far only to make me quit?
Though my parents are missionaries in Nepal, they use to make sure to be there during exams or my siblings would be there looking out for me. Internally I went through a phase of a lot of mental struggle. There are two groups in the final stage, I cleared the first group and while I was waiting to clear the second one I began praying that God would connect us to a good believers church in Bangalore. And God answered our prayers and from a God of my needs, he became God of everything. I wasn’t so obsessed with exams, I let God lead me and I did my best. I clung onto His promises and I must tell you to run this race on Earth you and I need grace. And our God has oceans of it. By His grace alone I cleared the exams and I should add that I went to the church even the day before my tax exam cos I simply did what the word tells: Trust in the Lord with every inch of your heart and not to depend on your own understanding, when my mind said your crazy for not utilising time to study the day before one of the lengthiest exams, my heart said Be still!
And Glory to God alone that He not only took me through this season but he changed me and molded me to be an instrument in His hand. He got me a job without much struggle, though I had multiple attempts I only gave one interview and got into the same one, a European company.
If you are going through any phase of life where it seems like a dead end, Trust me, I was there. I felt Hopeless, sad, angry with the turn of events but even then I turned my cries into silent whispers of praise and surrender. His presence is fullness of Joy, this verse was my lifeline Psalms 16:11
Ask God for strength , Ask God for willpower to deny what the world says and Ask God for faith. Even if it comes in the form of a mustard seed, it CAN STILL MOVE MOUNTAINS.