I became a Christian some years ago, however I feel I struggle a lot as I don’t have many Christian friends. I feel I often wander from God, and it often leads to making bad choices and then running back to God. It upsets me because I know how amazing God is and I want him to be a constant part of my life as when I am committed, my life is so much better in every way possible.
Now I feel have hit a tough spot and realise I must trust in the Lord with all my heart and listen to his word and listen to what he wants me to do. Will God forgive me for straying and making bad choices? I just feel in such a bad place right now. I feel riddled with guilt, shame and sadness.
While being away from God I have slept with men and now I await result from a sexual health check up and I feel I may be punished for going away from God. I am so scared, frightened and ashamed. I have prayed and I have given my sins to the Lord. I just feel I need prayers, understanding and to be shown the right path for me.
Do I even deserve to be forgiven? I just pray I will be rescued from the torment in my mind, I pray I can change my life. Is this possible? It is so difficult as I feel there is a huge stigma around Christianity and I feel I need to get involved with Church again and surround myself with fellow Christians.
I ask for prayers please.