I ignorantly got engaged in masturbation and at the beginning it felt good, yeah but that’s how the Devil’s bondage starts. Months later, I felt this isn’t right, enough of this. I began seeking for help. I tried abstinence. I still came back after usually 3days, What!
I sought for reasons just to masturbate without any pornographic material in a way to avoid sinning, and yet suppressing my conscious that masturbating isn’t a SIN, which it actually IS. Why? Because I feel guilty and dirty every time I did it, I go to God for forgiveness, and when I abstained for some days, I go back because I missed the feeling and orgasm, and that was becoming terrible.
As I grew deep into it that I began to LUST after ladies, and shameful I resorted to pornography, with the purpose of finding legitimate reasons to masturbate, so sex wasn’t my interest as I just watched and reject their fornicative act but learn more ways to masturbate. I disdain for their act of pornography and the pornographers too but sought for reasons to legitimately masturbate. And after each session I felt ten times more dirty and guilty than before, so I had to resort to more of it to find happiness and satisfaction. And that’s the definition of ADDICTION.
When I finally agreed and accepted it was a SIN, I tried many mechanic ways to stop, all failed, it grew worse.
I got fed up with this act, I had to run to JESUS, I was sincere, I was desperate for Him to help me, and I prayed, confessed my sins and asked for a washing and cleansing by His blood.
Now. I’m FREE. A bondage of 2 Years was broken. Now it’s almost 4 months now, and I’ve been free, and Yes, I always defeat temptations to try or attempt, ALWAYS.