The Only Hope
In my room alone, I am asked to play this tune. It was an express catch on the net as I typed “Akon feat Big meech, Time is Money.” The loud blast off my woofer elevated my begin into an elated status, but was unexpectedly interrupted by a bang on my door. This was the beginning of an end.
I was brought up in an adorable background. My parents were ever supportive in all worthy ramifications of life. Very lucky indeed I grow up finding out we were not rich nor poor but contented with all we had. The least in a family of four siblings, we were known for our dogged pursuit to excel in whatever the task at hand may be. In 1997/1998 I joined my dad who had won a golden appointment (Because it was very much needed due to the uncertainties in his past appointment) in Abuja.
That was the beginning of my deviation from good morals to unjustifiable woefulness. As it was for the five years of my mother’s absence and due to my father’s busy nature of job, no one really knew what I was up to. Before my mother could join us I had learnt the basics of evil from the outside unfriendly world (peer pressure).
Just for the records, before I was thought of being brought into this world, a Prophetess stepped into my Mother’s presence about 26 years back and told my mum that she was going to conceive and bring forth a baby boy whose name is Chukwuemeka Augustine. Furthermore she described me and told my Mother that I was sent from God although.
My mother conceived and gave birth to a boy (me) and so they decided (my Parents) to name me accordingly. Years later on a faithful Sunday morning, I and my dad were waiting for my mum at the parking lot after Church and my dad was flipping through the Good Shepherd newspaper (A Catholic weekly publication, for were Catholics), then he called my attention to the birthdays section of Saints, pointing out to me in shock that that day was Saint Augustine’s birthday (May 27) which coincidental was my birthday too. That made me really reflect but I was already under the strong influence of peer pressure by then so it didn’t take much time for all the thoughts, reflections and meditations on who I am to God to vanish as I even became worse.
During my primary school I normally didn’t ever read so I got a seat mate who knew English and copied his work during exams while we gazed at the ceiling during Mathematics. Whenever I failed e.g 25th out of 30 something, I normally changed the 2 to 1 (15th) before presenting it to my dad and my mum (who was stilling teaching at Aba where we were formerly based before I and my dad moved) whenever she came on holidays and it worked for me even all through Secondary school as my parents never noticed or found something fishy about the results.
Then came common entrance we were seated and I noticed it was a whole new setting as I looked around for my seat mate whom I always copied his work but I didn’t see him, in fact I didn’t see any one from my school around me, then it dawn on me that I was on my own. I ticked the answers that felt right in English but when it came to math, I ticked with shaky hands whatever came into my head, and the other subjects.
When the result came out I got distinction and was given admission into a FGC, as my name was number1 on the merit list. How did that happen, well that’s an answer later in life I found out ONLY GOD could answer. My dad took us all out to Mr Biggs to celebrate it as I witnessed unmerited cheers of victory on every side in the presence of my siblings who came on holiday (for they were in secondary schools when I and my dad relocated so could only come on holidays).
During my senior high school days I got into drugs (weed at first) and alcohol as I made away with my dad’s foreign currencies. I spent them in school since I was marked closely by my mother whenever we were on vacation (then she joined us and was teaching in my school). I also made some more wayward friends who were then cultists in the University for protection and to deal with seniors who were wicked to me if they got outside school but these guys drained my cash and even started threatening me, so I told some of my other friends and we organized a party at Wuse2 and my friends invited some army people they knew and I was asked to call them, as they came and noticed it was an ambush they ran as fast as they could with about 30 angry boys after them. I was shocked because I thought they were unbeatable, but that day I learnt something, “no human in the devil’s lane was unbeatable” as it gave me courage to always stand strong.
I was pushed by an unseen force to scale through whatever task I was to accomplish (exams, IT, part time Jobs e.t.c), Although University was horrible as I couldn’t control the addictions (drugs, alcohol, porn e.t.c) nor stay for lectures for I had friends in town (for my university was a 45mins drive away from Abuja) who paid for my up keep even when my parents stopped paying for it, due to the frequent reports of my calamities and waywardness that brought disgrace and sadness to their hearts.
My friend was swimming in billions of naira as a result of the inheritance his father pass away and willed to him, I found it difficult to concentrate in School as he always gave me money to bring girls back home, sort my courses, rent my apartment e.t.c and due to his fame I had the privilege of getting along with any cult member in my school but he made it clear to me that the day I joined, he would be the first to kill me. That saved me from making a lot more wrong decisions in my life. I believe God used him to stop me.
Moving ahead in my final year I had 7 carryovers due to the exams I skipped because I was too drunk to write as I couldn’t write any exams without taking Alamo bitters and codeine and pills and often times I over took them in such a way that it became impossible to go to the hall although if I went all I need do was seat with a friend of mine and copy all he had written because I never had notes nor text books to read anything in fact till I graduated I never owned a text book for my course.
When we finished our final second semester exams, some boys I used to know in Abuja met me to inform me that they had connections to people in the records office who could help my scores, hmm… I thought, it was a nice Idea because I was sure if God was on my side I will have nothing less than 2years spill over due to the amount of carryovers I had, but the problem was that I didn’t even have any money to sort because I do use what so ever money that steps into my hand (not even pocket) to buy drugs (codeine, pills, crack and weed) and alcohol. Where would I get so much money to satisfy my drug budget, alcohol, then before sorting with whatever would be left I thought, the answer was “no hope” because even if I got 1 million, I would use it all to purchase DRUGS till the last kobo was gone.
My addiction at that time was so horrible I often cried whenever I was alone and not high because I knew my life was totally finished. Often times the woman who prophesied my birth brought messages to our house warning me to leave all those friends I had that God was not happy with those friends I kept and I should prostrate on the ground whenever I erred (of which I used to do when I was little and wanted to seek attention from my mum, for I said in my heart that if I should prostrate, I would attract her attention because she wouldn’t want cold to catch me).
During my 1st semester 400l, two of my lecturers became interested in my progress all of a sudden. One was a Muslim who didn’t like any girl (Christian or Muslim), and liked ONLY serious Muslim boys but suddenly developed interest in me and always encouraged me to be coming for lectures as his eyes were on me he said. The other was my level coordinator who developed a sudden kin interest in me, just like that.
I never gave them a kobo but I just found favor in their sight. The one who was my level coordinator was made my project supervisor. During my project defense, as it approached my turn I was very nervous because I copied everything word for word (no changes except the place my supervisor noticed and told me to make corrections) and so I didn’t even understand the topic not to talk of defending the chapters. When they called for the person next to me, he went in (as my heart was pounding) only to come out again with our HOD, who announced that project defense was over, that we should all submit our projects to our supervisors and that whatever marks they award us we should accept it in good faith.
I jumped up with joy. God was at it again definitely. The guy whom I normally copied his work (Yahaya), who was always concerned about my lackadaisical attitude to education came and told me that God was surly with me (for he knew my fears).
I had thought of going to meet my HOD but when I remembered that he sleeps with girls and still fail them, it was of no use. I then had two major challenges to my graduating. 1) My HOD who never cared about a soul but gave to all whatever they duly merited was one and secondly, A very popular man in the Nigerian media sector who retried and took up the task of lecturing us. His case was not different as he also merited marks duly deserved and was wealthy so even if I was to get my kind of money for drugs and enough to sort, I couldn’t sort him because he was very rich and well disciplined.
Two weeks after our exams we heard that they had removed our HOD who had being the HOD since the inception of that department and the appointed that Muslim lecturer who only liked serious Muslim boys but miraculously liked me too as acting HOD. As they started marking, we heard that our influential lecturer (the ex-media Icon) had fallen ill, after sometime, we heard he was so ill he couldn’t mark so he passed all his scripts to my level coordinator and out of my seven carryover, I had 3 in his courses. (God is awesome. He can do anything to make His own scale through regardless His owns state of ignorance towards Him at that moment. Glory to His name forever).
After they finished marking the scripts, they found out that a lot of people failed woefully and so in order to avoid the “are you fit” kind of question that the University would ask should they submit that kind of result, they decided to add marks for the whole class in the highest percentage of failed courses and it happened that all the courses they added marks to where the courses I failed.
Hallelujah!! When the result came out I saw only 5 carryovers in my overall result in my transcript with my CGPA at 2:54. (Supposing I got 2.4 it would have meant 3rd class and I would have had to take a post graduate diploma before I can advance for Masters of which God didn’t want because it would have consumed my time and prolonged His will for my life). My parents said it could only be God that could give me such a result as my course mates protested because most of them who were looking down on me and attending all the lectures and writing all the tests and studying for hours in all the exams and saying I was unserious, spilled over, including those guys who were advising me to sort. Their sorting failed them all. I miraculously graduated to the marvel of all my friends in August 2014. Hallelujah. God is good in my life.
I was shortlisted in November 2014 for a 1year compulsory National service in a far away state (Ebonyi) and although my parents battled so I get posted to Abuja (For none of my siblings served away from home) it all was to no avail even though the coordinator of posting was my daddy’s friend, we only knew his position two days to camp so he advised me to go to camp and return after camping for redeployment back to Abuja.
On reaching there after the camp I decided to stay back for my PPA (Place of Primary Assignment) because a friend I had back at the University who was the leader of a cult was in the same camp with me and as a result my resolution to stop drugs and reduce alcohol and sexual addictions became even more hopeless with him around me. I tried not to take any substance all through camp but when I got back for the 10months PPA period, we found out that the drugs were cheaper at Ebonyi although there was no crack, I went back into drugs and even slept with two prostitutes on my first night out of camp with that my friend in a hotel after being wasted on alcohol. My resolutions were thrown back to my face.
My lifestyle was yet uncontrollable as any money I got was channeled into my addictions. I knew if I continued this way it would be wicked of me to start a family, talk more of bringing a son into the world to see his father’s flaws. What kind of example was I going to be? I became totally frustrated with my life as I smoked from morning to night all day with my friend. The neighbors were fed up with my attitude but didn’t know what to do as they had reported me times without number to my next door neighbor, a police woman but she totally ignored them. They also reported me to an NDLEA (Nigerian Drug law Enforcement Agency) officer and he came and threatened me severally with arrests if I don’t stop smoking weed and polluting the whole environment but I didn’t care because I and my friend back then in my 300l at Abuja, had been arrested by the NDLEA when his mum reported that we were spending the wealth her husband left behind lavishly on crack (Drugs) and they told me to call my mother of which I did after resisting initially for some dreadful reasons and when my mother came to their headquarters where we were locked up, she cried on seeing me there.
I had never been disappointed in myself all my life as I was that day because I never wanted them to know it had gotten to that extent although she had caught me smuggling cartoons of codeine into the house before (when I used to sell codeine and pills both at school and in Abuja) and disposed them all into the toilet. They conducted a test on me and found only one drug absent out of 12 or so which they said was not in Nigeria and was hard to come across anywhere in the world except in countries like Malaysia etc.
They flogged me and advised my mother that I stay awhile with them while they teach me some lessons not to take drugs again of which they truly kept their words (very horrible and bitter memories). Since after that day I didn’t care anymore where, or who wanted to arrest me because my parents were already aware of the worse of me (my addictions). Only one thing disturbed me, my future. if there was any hope that I would ever have one again. When I am alone most times back then, I wept bitterly for I needed a new life but it looked like it was all over.
I contemplated suicide twice but I couldn’t bear the shame if I failed as that would be the height of stupidity. I burnt my mother’s cloths and always insulted her if she tried to obstruct my ways of which she always did but at the same time she always prayed, crying to God to save and not let me go. Night after night, she burnt candle sticks praying for me all night, crying to God but I didn’t really about that then though. I only cared that all the promising thoughts of tomorrow where dashing off my view. I started giving in to thoughts of living the world again. I had no hope.
We went to Asaba (my hometown) after camp for the Christmas break and two days before I left for the 10months PPA (place of primary assignment at Ebonyi) my aunt came visiting. As I went down to greet her she told me that when I get there (to Ebonyi) God said I should work in His house and something would happen to me. She also gave me prophesies about how wealthy I will be and famous all over the world of which the woman who prophesied my birth also told earlier on. So as I got to Ebonyi, I went to some Catholic Churches around there but their mode of communication in Masses was Igbo so I was automatically discouraged and more over their workers were mostly elderly women (not my kind of place I said to myself, nor my kind of swag).
I had a partial kind of girl friend – friend who helped me regardless my actions as sometimes I didn’t even have any money to pay for keke when we went out because whatever money came (NYSC allowance, Parents allowance e.t.c) I used it all to purchase alcohol and drugs. She encouraged me nonetheless to go with her to her church (Christ Embassy), so on the 1st of March 2015 I made up my mind to go with her which was awesome although I refused to stand when they made an altar call. After the service I thanked her and she encouraged me to come with her for the Communion Service of which I also did and on hearing Pastor Chris answer difficult theological questions (during Pastor Chris live segment) I was amazed in that I had heard that he was passing through some rough times in his marriage but there he was, as though he had no challenges, in fact I wondered, he is even helping people answer difficult questions. I was amazed for it could be only the working of God in his life that has made him that amazing I thought. Furthermore, I told myself and there I am, with common addiction challenges feeling like the world had come to an end. As I continued to listen him I felt my heart literately melting as though the heavy burdens were unloosening gradually and where being replaced by a type of peace I had never felt before.
After the Service I went home and reflected a little then went out to drink. That night I drank to stupor and went back home around 1am banging on the gate for almost 30minutes, refusing to call the numbers they provided for me to call whenever I was coming back late so as not to disturb the neighbors because I just wanted to disturb the neighbors as I used to do back then at school when I came back drunk at midnight. Around 2am I gave up because by then all the children in the various apartments had awoken and were crying. I had compassion on them and stopped knocking. Around 2:30 a woman came back from night vigil and called someone to open the gate and that was how I joined her in otherwise I would have slept outside as usual (for I do sleep outside some nights I was too drunk to find my way home and often times with some gang of boys I befriended in my street when I came to Ebonyi who were all cultists but they never initiated me at night even though it was very possible because I was always unconsciously high whenever I was with them during their meetings). It was God saving me and blocking their hearts from having such thoughts towards me. Hmm.
The next day (Monday) I stayed at home all through weeping and I told God I was going to start working there as an usher (Because I was asked to by Him according to my aunts prophecy) as the church was my kind of place to work for God (34 other coppers, big and beautiful, filled with youths e.t.c). The next day (Tuesday 03,03,2105) I was stepping to the rhythm banging off my woofer in the morning when I heard a knock on my door, I reached for it and it was that my partial ex-girl’s cousin (Emeka a name sake who painted my room when I came newly to my apartment as it was through him I knew the girl who took me to Christ Embassy, who was at that time schooling in the State University).
He came in and we were discussing when he suddenly called to my attention on his knowledge of my going to church with his cousin, how happy he and his family members were and all that. Then he asked me how the experience was? The question took me unawares and as I tried to reply him, I began to cry. I didn’t know. Suddenly, I felt a weight on me, it was so heavy It pressed me down on my knees, as I tried to stand up, It pressed me down again. I wept and wept and wept. Not that I was in pains but I knew whatever was happening to me was for good because It felt good although I was afraid because it was a strange feeling.
I was crying and crying. It felt like a rushing wind all over my being and as I was trying to struggle to stand upright, it pressed me down again. Emeka who had been a born again for 7 years told me I had to reply after him and he took my hands and took me through some confession (Salvation prayer) and he said things like I confess with my mouth that Jesus is the Son of the Living God and that He is the Lord overall and believe in my heart that God raised Him from the dead and things like that I said after him as I was weeping uncontrollably, and when he finished, that wind in me pressed me down and I couldn’t kneel anymore as this time I was now rolling on the floor, weeping.
Emeka left and something spoke loudly from within me and commanded me to go and lock the door, then I was revealed a little bit so as to crawl to my door and lock it and on getting back it suppressed me beyond my ability to control and I was taken away from my room in a moment to a place where I saw things flying all over as if they were running halter shelter in expectation of someone. The place was as white as snow and the things though far from me, where too many and that made me even more afraid and their legs were floating in the air.
I was still weeping uncontrollably, this time I was kneeling down crying, shouting
“What is happening to me? Where am I? what is happening to me?”
I was overwhelmed with what I was seeing with no one to explain to me. Then Someone appeared by my side. He was not there initially. He said to me “Son of Love, you are done working for men, it is time you do My will” as He reached for my left hand with loving and compassionate looks in His eyes, He gradually lifted me up, looking up to see who it was, It was Jesus Christ Himself talking to me. It was Jesus Christ Whom my mother had been begging to save me since He declared before I was born that I was His. It was Jesus Christ, Who had be working all that time in my life. It was Jesus Christ the King of kings and Lord of lords.
I wept like I had never wept before in my life. I knew my life was changed forever. I knew my life was never going to remain the same. I knew my struggles with addictions were over. He told me that those were angels and that they are rejoicing because they had been expecting that day for a long time now, when I will come to the kingdom. He told me that the devil had asked for my life from God 21 times but God refused. In an amazing flash, He showed me in a detailed manner the pains I had been causing to my Mother. He took me to a place, It was like in a beach, I saw people (Uncountable) shouting as though singing praises and I saw myself on a very large and high stage with a microphone alone as though speaking to them, Jesus told me “these are all the souls you will bring to my kingdom.” He told me that He will never let me go. So much happened after that scene, He took me through different scenes pertaining to my future assignment.
When I got back to the world, it was evening, I immediately deleted all my social media accounts, all my wayward friends’ numbers, I called my mother and father and all my siblings, telling them the good news in tears of Joy mixed with love.
After that, one day I was sleeping and something like that heavy wind landed on me, I jumped up from my bed and took my study book next to me by my bed and started writing down things I had no idea of what I was writing, I was weeping uncontrollably as I did that day I first encountered the heavy wind before meeting with Jesus in heaven.
After a lengthy time of writing, it started losing its grip in my being and as it did my hand stopped writing. I thought I was done and was laying down my head to sleep again in tears (for it was 2:30am at that time), It landed on me again as I jumped up and continued writing and crying uncontrollably. This continued like that until 6am, and then it final stopped. After that day the Holy Spirit told me that that was a confirmation of my title in the Kingdom.
After that, One day I was on my way to church to arrange the chairs for the next day’s Sunday service. I met a man-friend I met initially when I first came to Ebonyi. He used to own a hangout spot back then in my University and I always patronized him and I even sometimes uncured debts to the tune of 20k worth of alcohol until we heard that he duped someone and made away with the person’s money and came to our school to set up that joint. Much later I had he had packed up only for me to see him in Ebonyi of all places. Before I met My Lord, we hung out almost every night drinking and charting, trying to catch up with old times as he was always very shocked I could graduate, but I hadn’t seen him after I met Christ until that day although he stays close to my apartment. He was very shocked I didn’t drink that day and was telling me that I would soon return to that life of drinking again. Although I didn’t tell Him about my powerful revelation of Christ which changed me but I made it clear to him that I was now for Jesus Christ full time.
We discussed for a long while then someone came and sat down with us. He knew the person. After a while, then it was already dark and by then they must have finished arranging the chairs so I told my man – friend that I would be going back home so he said he will drop me off since I stay close to his place. When we got into the car, the other guy that came to join us whom I have never seen before and he told me he would like to follow me home. At first, I didn’t get what he was say but he followed us and when my friend dropped me off, he also dropped and started telling me some things I didn’t understand then about the spiritual controlling the physical e.t.c then as I wanted to walk away into my house he told me that he came to deliver a message to me, I came back to him and he started telling me things that shocked me.
He told me that I was in a transformation period and that God had chosen me for an important work from birth. That I am in a high position in the Kingdom of God. That it is not by my works that God choose me but because he loves me for His pleasure, that if I should sin, I should prostrate on the ground e.t.c. I was so shocked then how God located me at such an unexpected place at a much unexpected time. I wept for joy.
After that, One day during the last year’s cell leader’s conference, on the last day which was the International Music Concert, I was praising God, singing, dancing and shouting in the Holy Ghost when suddenly my eyes rose up and although we were inside the Church, I was seeing the sky as though there was no roof covering us, then the heavens opened and I saw Someone seating on a Throne, behind Him were countless multitudes of angels on attention. His gown was white and was flowing all over the place, glowing as though it was producing the light everywhere. His face is a representation of Power (i.e He is the Word Power Himself).
He was speaking to me but His mouth was not moving. I was shocked and amazed at the same time. His voice was calm and still as though it was different from the Person I was looking at. His said to me “son of love My people are not worshiping Me in spirit and in truth. They are worried about their problems. I have told them to lay their problems on My feet and walk away but they are bothered about their problems. Lest I bring in new children and these ones corrupt them with their ways.”
Then my eyes went down back into the Church and there was a loud music of praise banging on the speakers, an artist was singing in the projector but the congregation were stiff and ridged as though they were mourning someone. Tears dropped from my eyes, then my eyes were taken up again and I saw Him again and He said “you see, son of love, My people are not worshiping me in spirit and in truth.” Then I came back into the world in the church and wept.
So much happened at Ebonyi after then, e.g I had a financial grace revelation when an angel brought me money dollars in a very large golden tray, the more I offloaded it the more it increased. I was also given additionally singing, writing grace amongst others. When I got back to Abuja, early this year (February precisely), my parents went to buy wall tiles for our house and they purchased it from a lady who told them that she would bring it home for them after getting it from their warehouse.
When she got to our house, I came and opened the gate for her and she walked majestically into the compound, looking at me eye ball to eye ball, she walked into the sitting room and I just don’t know why, I couldn’t stop her as the words to stop her (because she was a stranger) couldn’t come forth. When I closed the gate and got in she had already made herself comfortable in the sitting room, my mum and dad came out to see her only to see her balanced in the sitting room. As they discussed, I went back into my room to continue studying as God had urged me but I couldn’t concentrate as my attention was still on their discussion, then I overheard her telling my mum that she was a prophet and that any house she entered and they treated her well that God said she should live her peace with the house, and that my parents did accordingly so she would like to pray for them before leaving.
Then she sang songs and spoke in tongues for a while and then told my mum that where is her second boy, that he is about to travel, at this point I was shocked how God came at another very unexpected time to speak to me for indeed I am preparing to travel. My mum rushed into my room and called me and when I came out she said that I was the one. That God has chosen me and He would never change His mind. That God has sent people to wait for me when I get to where I was traveling to. That I am very great and mighty in God’s sight. She prayed for me and said it was done. She gave my parents their own personal prophesies and left.
On another Occasion, My parents went to see someone who was sick and on their way back they decided to branch in to see my dad’s colleague who invited them as she was opening a supermarket. As got there, one of the pastors that came from the woman’s church dragged my parents aside and told them that they have two sons and that the younger one’s name was Emeka and that God has chosen me for a very great work and that I would be very rich and that God had ordained me from the womb to execute that work for Him. He also gave my dad some personal prophecies as my mum was just weeping because she was shocked at where God came to meet her.
My life has been placed on a brand new slate. I couldn’t seat for an hour to read before but now I spend hours reading and writing. I compose songs; people come to seek advice from me on life issues. My Muslim friend on hearing me speak converted to Christianity as my friend who was a cult leader on seeing what God had done to me gave his life to Jesus. I have been invited twice since I got back to speak to a large populace of youths but I rejected because it was not yet the right timing as all He has asked me to do then was prepare (Study, pray).
After that day 3rd of March 2015 I forced myself to drink a can beer but threw up on the first gulp and He warned me never to try it again, same with drugs on 27th May and ever since after my encounter with Christ, I have totally overcome those addictions. I stopped porn, withdrew from all those time wasting activities e.g movies and television as a whole, social media (for now), unnecessary outings etc.
My life has totally changed. I have been totally transformed. I have stopped everything negative I once did and now am controlled by His Spirit. Jesus is real. I used to hear about Him but didn’t really understand but now I know. He is so humble yet the most powerful. Mere looking at our Lord, your spirit will testify to you that you have met your Maker. Only his mercies and lavished grace can do this. May of my past friends who we all started on the same lane of waywardness have died and many others are still stuck in those addictions and waywardness even at this very point in time when it is not needed for such class of age, for they should be thinking of settling soon. It is His grace that has made me who I am today.
God has given me a priceless gift among st other priceless gifts that no one in the world can give to anyone. He has opened my eyes to know what the time says, so that I can prepare my mind for action and fix my gaze on the grace to be given me when Christ is revealed, even my title in His Kingdom. I had always been hearing that God is good but now I know God is good.
Holy Spirit has urged me to share this good news, which is why I am sharing this to not only you hearing it now but also to the whole wide world. I would be releasing my book of which I am working currently on, at the right time, but meanwhile the news has to keep spreading so that the youths, the world at large will know that JESUS CHRIST is the same Today, Yesterday and Forever. Hallelujah!! God bless you.
God’s Son of Love