In 2004 December I had a miscarriage. I was numb from emotional abuse anyway and couldn’t feel any emotion. I never cried for that baby. When the D&C was done I asked the doctor what the sex was but she said “its too soon” . I miscarried in the fourth month. I had an inkling it was a boy…but it was just that…an inkling. Somewhere inside me I stored away my firstborn…
2008: I gave birth to my son Ben. Between these times, but rarely, I would calculate to see how old my first born would have been.
2009: Yet another son, Joel (Jehovah is Lord it means). My little boy would have been nearly five…
I was not mourning and I was leading the victorious life…fully in His spirit. But I believe the Lord knew my yearning. I know that the bible doesn’t say this but through many things I read written by solid believers, I started to wonder whether there was a place in Heaven specially for unborn children, where they play in the lap of Jesus.
Two or three times I prayed show me my son…and then repented and submitted to whatever His holy will was. Then one day I came across the site of the Duggars. I had not read about them before but on this site…http://www.duggarfamily.com/, I read about how this lady miscarried her child, delivered and then had a chance to take photos with her for remembrance. There was a lot of hoo ha in the press about this.
All this while I felt the leading of the Lord. While trying to research this I came across innumerable accounts of people doing this and that is when I started accepting that my first born was really an individual in the sight of the Lord. “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; “Jeremiah 1:5 Bens conception and birth was a series of miraculous events by the Holy Spirit. In particular, I knew that I was having a son by the moving of the spirit. I was so sure that in the fourth month I bought all boy baby clothes. So by realizing the conviction of the Spirit I was sure that my first born was a boy.
After this, I gave testimony on this board “My testimony and the beginning of a love story”.
A fellow writer on TestimonyShare prophesied to this post as below:
“It’s amazing how God has moved my heart and I still say your three children are Gods miracle and God is going to touch your family powerfully through them, I don’t know why im saying this but that is how its going to be, they are Godly offspring’s, your sons will prophecy in the name of Jesus and there will be rivers of waters flowing in your house. Today God showed me a vision. I saw my son, God named him Isaac, he is 8 years old in my vision and was shinning bright like bright light, it made me understood that he is God’s sent, a godly offspring, I was amazed on what I saw but then I asked Jesus to give me a sign from bible( in my mind I had if you could mention son anywhere in the scripture I would believe you).and guess what!!!!!!!!It opened Joel 2:28 Your sons and daughters will prophecy. Now I was shocked, I still feel the Holy Spirit anointing as I say this to you truly our Lord is miracle maker, He does not do anything without revealing his servants.”
At this time , MY SON WOULD HAVE BEEN EIGHT YEARS OLD!!! I truly believe that the testimony of Jesus Christ is the spirit of Prophesy. Only now as I write this I start to grasp the meaning of that verse.
I still don’t know what to think. Would anybody be able to give thoughts as to as a saint of God what would He like me to think. DaughterofChrist…you especially.
Recently I also read this site where several years back a child, Colton Burpo, of four years, died on the operating table and came back miraculously speaking of meeting his great grandfather who he had never met and of a sister who his parents had never spoken of as she was miscarried. (they didn’t know either that she was a girl!) Sorry I don’t know the site but google it , its all over the web.
Head whirling. Don’t know what to think. Lord Jesus guide me. Internally I know what I believe because of the course of things that the Lord led me through. so gently and when I was ready. But I need scripture, from the word, sustenance to bring closure to this. HELP!
In my weakness His strength is made perfect! Hallelujah!
Cheeryleesa! In my life, I felt like a type of David.Ps.23 became one of my most favourite parts in the Bible!I once told my wife about 15 years ago,I feel like a type of David.I’m very far from being a King in that sense, but in Jesus , all His children are so much more than an earthly king! Unluckily, I have to say I’m relating(rather …related= it’s past tense) more to the “bad” parts of David, like his adultery with Batseba and disobedience to God during that period. You see…I was divorced(first marriage no kids) and then …my first and only child in my 2nd marriage,died on 32 weeks(8 months old)There was nothing wrong with the babygirl but my wife had an anurism which almost lead her to bleed to death!Because of that,her body had shut down bloodflow to the baby, who then died!A nurse took me to the “body” of the child, so that I could see how beautiful she was!She indeed looked a lot like her mother but…as sad as it was, God realy gave me wonderful power!I looked at the babygirl’s body and said to the nurse:”This is just a body -I believe my child is now with God!I felt pain but I immediately had innerpiece!I touched her one foot and I said:”God, You are the Almighty and Sovereign God! I accept what happened and choose to not have any negative feelings against You!” I truly thank God for giving me that strength!NOW… it is true…that thought came into my mind…will I realy see her again?Because of my repentance and trust in the Lord I truly believe she is in heaven and yes I’m going to see her again!You said you want scripture!In 2Sam.2:11 …you can read about what Natan said to David about his firstborn and David’s reaction! After 7days,the child died but as you quoted in Jer 1:5 (whether a baby is still a fetus or not -God created that child.He already wrote our names in His handpalms whith the creation! I don’t know how the English Bible describe 2 Sam.2:11-…but as translated from Afrikaans, David explained the following to his servants.”The child is dead, he won’t come back to me, but…one day I’ll be with him!” Wow!!!Isn’t that clear? A child born because of the act of sin committed by King David and Batseba!Following the murder of Batseba’s husband! How big is God’s mercy, within His Almighty love and grace, He knew David will repent.Surely…The Word says – “David was a man, close to the heart of God!” When David said :” One day I’ll be with him (his child), he defintely meant IN HEAVEN!How close can one get according to scripture!I truly believe that God showed that to me!I read that many times but didn’t see that so clearly!Praise God and may He give you all the innerpeace you need!He is faithull and will never fail His promises! You will see your son one day – you are God’s child arent you?!!!May God bless you and be with you!
Sorry Emory & Cheeryleesa! Oh…my spelling of innerPIECE!Sorry… I defintely had “INNERPEACE!” My English not always so good! I thank God that I can speak 3 languages- with or without mistakes …He will bless the words and meanings!All to His Glory! Amen!