I have sat and reflect on different things work, kids, marriage, friends, church, God!!! Yes God and even church! Just really life in general where I been, where I am, and where I’m going. Wait!!! Where am I going? Will I go to heaven or Hell? I probably wouldn’t have even thought that far into it if someone wouldn’t have said to me,
”if you slipped out of this world where are you going to go?”
Wow! what a question to ponder! Who really wants to think about that! Why would you want to think that far ahead? It’s all about living in the moment, right? We can ask God for repentance later. Will there be a later?
So, that question makes sense, where would you go if you slipped out of this world and when is your “later” going to be? When you look at yourself in a mirror it’s not just a reflection of your outward body you are seeing. If you look deeper at yourself, It’s you as a whole, the real you, what’s inside and out. Some of us see only the dirty, brokenness, scared, hurt, anger, bitterness, and guarded. Others may just see the beauty of the outside.
Who are we? Really, who are we? We all have to face our own demons at some point in life and some will be easier than others. Only God can change and heal us from the inside out. We just have to let him do it and believe he will.
Being lost is lonely and hell was described as a lonely place of torment that is never ending. Have you ever felt like you’re stuck between two different worlds, you can hear people calling you from both sides, but not be able to clearly distinguish who is on which side any more? All sort of thoughts torment your mind to make you feel as there is no hope, no one understands, you feel all alone. Your not! God says, “He will never leave nor forsake you.” He waits patiently on you, even though you choose to pay him no mind. He is still with you.
So I sat and continued to think. Thinking is not always a good thing because with the mind the heart wants to follow and when the heart follows so do emotions. Hurtful things people have said or even done intentionally or not will arise, this and that will try to take over all the good things life has given. Instead of looking on the negative we should keep our eyes on the positive and the blessings we have received. Starting with, we woke up this morning! Because somewhere, someone did not! What a blessing that was to wake because that could have been our “later” without repentance.
The words that were said to me yesterday about “where would you go,” have stung me over and over throughout the afternoon and night. I wanted to blow it off, I was doing fine, my life felt in order and somewhat confusing at the same time, but it was doable. I attended church and still done my own thing. What I did at home was my business, right?
No matter what I done at home and no one else could see I knew, my husband knew, but most of all God knew. I went with the flow at church through all the motions, worship I would sing because why not, that’s what is expected, prayer, sure!
Bow your head spend a few minutes at the altar and go home. No one knows that you’re not praying and that you’re really going to hell. That question was just the start of my Tuesday as I was getting ready to leave town I headed out, but I could have been headed for my eternity.
See, as I left town I looked down for just a second and when I looked up I was within feet of a dump truck he was going off the road and I was swerving back to my lane. In those seconds I could have been waking up in hell!
God gave me another chance it wasn’t my “later”. Those words still stinging in my head “where would you go”! I drove on to my destination, it happened to be church. Here I am headed to hell, been stung by words over and over; nearly being ran over by a dump truck that at the speeds we were going couldn’t have ended well.
Now at church! God was doing something; the evangelist has a friend that travels with her and when she stood up to give her testimony, which I just knew it was going to be about her healing. (Its a story I could listen to over and over is a very moving and powerful testimony), but it was different tonight. What in the world! Change? Well that word also stung, she stated (to the point of), she had been in church for a long time, but just because she was in church didn’t mean was “in” church.
How many of us are like that? How many of us are in but not in? God can change you only if you let him! Someone special to me made the statement that, ”We need to be like a rooster”, you see a rooster can hang on for a long period of times to something even when the struggle is against him. This is because they bend their knees and lock their feet. That’s what we should be doing as Christians bending our knees and locking our feet. Telling the devil not today! Push all you want but we not moving!!