People Sharing

In my own Force

My name is Susana, I am 24 years old will be 25 on Friday, March 9th. Everything in our lives is all planned by God, nothing escapes his hands. With my testimony you will see how wonderful God is and how he has our lives planned just perfect.

When I came to God’s feet it was like I saw a video recording of my life and he allowed me to see the sin in which I was living in. I had to reach the end of Susana’s will to realize that what I needed was him in my life. What I mean by the end of Susana is that I had to die. The Susana that was lead by the things of this world. The girl who was married to a very wealthy guy, who had the mansion on the side of the ocean, the yacht, the American Express Plt. card with no limit spending, the fancy cars, rolex watches and a “husband”. All of this but guess what she was miserable! She was unhappy, always bitter, mad, sad.. and never understood why. She tried to doe verythig on her own will. after 8 years of dating and living in fornication with her boyfriend, she forced him to marry her, forced him to the alter, a wedding that was all thru her hands, never was it Gods will. she married into a family for money, for monetary happines, thinking that money was going to be her happines, she had it all. But she never understood what it was that she was missing, until God started putting her marriage and her life thru test. He drove me to the bottom of my self. My depression, my misery drove me to aultery, Iwas a liar, I was becoming an alcoholic, and it was all because my husband’s family never accepted me. (I will get into that part later, of why Iwas not accepted) I coulnt understand why, I was not accepted. I was everything a family ever wanted, I studied, even though his family gave us all the money in the world and I had everythign I ever wanted, I worked. But for this family, it was wrong to work and study. Until, finally the hate, the misseary drove me to the end. I began to drink, go out, party and did not care about my self, my husband or my body. This was the end of my marriage and the begining of a new life. There was a very special person on the other side of the world, praying with a pure heart for me, because she wanted to share with me in the kingdom of heaven; it was my sister, praying every night for 3 years of her life for me. She would pray, God if it is your will for her to be with that man, keep them together and joing them in love, and if itis not your will bring her here close to me. She is my blood and I miss her with my life. Becasue of this marriage my sister and I were separted. Long story short, his family did not accept my family. You know the rich don’t mix with the poor. So through her prayers, god saved me. Well the day came when my X decided to divorce me. It was the end of the world for me. He was all I had. I was living in USA, with no family, he was the only person I had in USA, what was I going to do. So I called my sister and she flew in to rescue me from what I now call the dungen of Hell. She came and my X and I decided that we both had given up, that his family was never going to accept my family and that things were never going to change. We packed a small lugage bag with more shoes hten clth in it, yu know us owmen, shoes, purses and that is it. And I flew into Costa Rica. The next day my sister had her service day and I went with her, that day… God called out to me, he put the words i the pastors mouth to speak directly to me. He said these exact words “in a marriage if there is not forgiveness there is no love, if there is forgiveness there is love, where ever there is forgivenss there is LOVE.” Those words entered my heart, and I said God do your will, if we love each other we will forgive and move on and our love wll grow, if we dont forgive, then I know that there was no love. Then I accepted the message of salvation and understood it clearly. I saw a reflection of my life, like in a video recording and I got scared. I was a liar, a cheater, I and had hate in my heart. But once i accepted that he had forgiven those sins, and understood the word, it was all out, gone. I slept like a baby that night. Then I began to read the bible.. and ever passage Iread, refleted my life. I read the passagein which is says… that it is very rare for the rich to make it into the kingdom of heaven becasue they worry more about getting rich then thinking about Gods love.. and I back tracked to my X husbands life and what did I see a person and a family who worshiped money and not God, they are servants to money. my x husbands father never slept at night always thinking baout how to make more money and tied into his slavery to money. and his son my X was in the same path as his father… worried about making money and worshiping idols. The i kept on reading everyday of my life i read and words just cmae out to me…it stated… money wrongly gotten will be destroyed, and I the Lord have spoken… my God.. did this words touch my heart all the money my X had was all wrongly gotten. If you want tog et rich fast you will be destroyed… but the one who works hard and gets rich slowly will have a solid foundation… my life and what I was living was comig out to me… and I said to my self and to GOd, THANK YOU for saving me. thanking for taking me out of there, what would have been of me. Everyday of my life I red and read and the more I read the more  I understood Gds laws. The more I understood the sin I was living in. I was blind. How come I did not see that Iwas literally married to the mob.   Who was I trying to cheat? but when God shinned that light on me I saw the scars of sin all over my body. I saw the pride, I saw the lies, I saw the sin every were it was so very clear to me. I became afraid. You must be wondering and what happen to you right? Well, from riches to rags, but guess what happier now then ever before. I came to learn aout Jesus love for us, I came to Costa Rica with a luggage bag full of shoes and purses and not one dollar to y name, when Iaccepted him, i put my life in his hands, he has been driving my car, I have had just enough to live and more. I have everything one needs to live and even more. I am still not legally divorced becasue the justice war is not over yet, but i have faith in the Lord and I know he will bring justice. It has been 8 months since I accepted Jesus in my life and these 8 months have been the hppiest 8 months of my life. I obey his laws and I honestly am scared of Jesus, I know his pwer, I rather obey and live right. I hvent had not even a cup of wine in the 8 months, and had no need for it.

I had the husband that the world had to offer me, the one that I made with my own force, I married for money, the bible says… those who worship money will be servants to money and will not share in heaven with me. money wrongly gotten iwll disappear. the rich people dont have time for Jesus they are too worried about making money and forget all about him, and if Jesus wants to give us obundance he will. So far i havnet need anything of my past life. And when I accepted him, I let it all go. Now I am a living testimony of his power, because my life depends on him, whatever happen with my life, is his will and not mine, if Iget remarried, it was his will and the husband he had for me. If I dont get married, then his will was for me to obey and follow him. As you can see everything I did in my own force lead to disaster. Once I accepted Jesus I have had everything I needed and more.