Friend, I want to spare you all the sad details so here is an outline only of my story.
As a child I was mentally and physically abused. With 15 years of this baggage, I entered my first marriage. I married a woman who lived only for herself and hated everyone else.
Meantime I accepted Christ and became a Christian. She could not live with this and divorced me.
A few years later I married another woman who, like me, had been through mental hell but, sadly, she could not forgive people who hurt her. At the beginning it was great, and we had two great children but being human and still mixed up I made mistakes we all make and hurt her. We separated and divorced after 11 years of marriage.
Now I had the baggage of my childhood and two marriage disasters to add to my messed-up mind. During the years I had counseling, but I needed to come to the place where God could take really take control.
I met another lady who had a list of psychological problems as long as your arm including delusions, hypochondria, phobias etc etc. I thought that with all my experiences I could rescue her, but it was nothing more than co-dependency.
I couldn’t cope she pressed all the wrong buttons, and she broke me down and I was emotionally wrecked. I felt guilt shame and humiliation, expected no pity and got no pity. Only a dear friend and his wife supported me throughout.
Finally, all alone with serious loss of eyesight and no prospects but now healing big time in my mind through God’s amazing grace, I poured out my heart to God for an opportunity to start my life again with a clean page with my sins all forgiven just as He promised.
One day walking along a lane in the countryside I decided to put my case to Him. I called out to God in tears and said Father You know I need someone to love I cannot live on my own. I need someone to love me. I have tried for years to do it my way and have failed dismally, adding sin to sin. You know what I need. You know exactly the person I can love and make happy, and you know exactly who can love me and make me happy. I leave it in your hands. If it’s your will you will provide. But if I must remain alone, so be it.
Above all, Father, no matter what happens, let me be your faithful and loving servant until the end of my wife. I had such peace after that prayer and the comforting assurance He was going to answer that prayer.
He did within days.
God answered that prayer. He brought me in contact with one of the loveliest souls I have ever met especially in character. She was in middle age, had never married and was a still a virgin. But she lived in another country and the immigration UK laws did not allow her to come to the UK.
This was something that proved me to the quick. My friends encouraged me to believe but it was very very hard to believe that God could work this one out. I almost blew it. But God did. After a series of events that tested my faith down to the very bone marrow, He brought her to the UK by a way that my friends acknowledged as nothing short of a miracle It was an example of divine intervention.
He did it, not my way, but His way. When God is in control then, brother, nothing can stop Him from working out His plan, no sister, not even some of the toughest immigration laws that exist.
My wife has a dear sweet loving nature, and I can honestly say that I have never heard her complain. If I unintentionally hurt her, she just sobs and that is worst that me receiving a heaving beating, it just breaks my heart and I resolve never to hurt her again.
We adore each other and have been married now for over three years. It has been the happiest years of my life. During this time irrespective of severe sight loss and with my wife’s support I have undertaken a degree course in Social Work and am just about finished. God has provided and He does answer prayer but only when we give up on ourselves and let Him take over.
To God be the praise and the glory! Great is His faithfulness!