I am just seeking some guidance, as my boyfriend of 3 and a half years broke up with me 7 months ago. He broke up with me due to me telling some lies about my financial situation. I know it was wrong and have asked god for forgiveness and I have felt peace over it. I am a devoted Christian and I know God answers prayers. After we broke up I was very devastated. I cried and I prayed ALOT. My ex was still in contact with me, we’d speak and text most days, but I was still hurting and pining over him begging for him back. It came to the point where we weren’t moving anywhere and I felt like I was just setting myself up for hurt. This went on for 4 months. I asked him and he said there wasn’t a chance we’d get back together. I still saw him at church. I was praying for reconciliation and moving the mountains between us. He came back to me again, keeping in regular contact, he even came to see me the night before my birthday and gave me a big hug and kiss. I cried infront of him then. That weekend a friend saw him out with another girl and told me, I was devastated and got so upset and asked to speak to him and yelled at him and was crying, it was then he once again told me there was never ever a chance of us getting back together.
I made the move to cut all contact from him, deleted him off facebook and deleted his number. I was praying for healing. However one night (3 weeks later) I was reading Mark 9:23 about how all things are possible if you believe. He popped into my head which was really random because I had not thought about him for about a week and thought I was in the process of healing. I didn’t think much of it because I thought it just must of been a feeling. The next night he saw me at the gym and he approached me. I ran away. He messaged me that night asking to meet me. So I did. He told me letting me go was the biggest regret and he really missed me and wanted me back. I was emotional and overwhelmed and didn’t know what to say.
A couple of days later I went back to him and said I really wanted to make it work, but he had to be 110% sure that this was what he wanted. He said he did. He said what he said that night he was sure of at the time, but then all of a sudden 2 weeks later he had a change of heart for me. When I said I wanted him back he said there were terms and conditions. I had to come clean about everything or this was it and he’d walk out of my life for good. As long as I told him everything we could work on our issues and move past them. It took me 3 attempts but I finally came clean about everything. Even about me being on dates with guys while we were broken up.
He didn’t say anything once I came clean about everything, he said he would talk to me later. He kept in touch for a couple of days, then I went away for netball for a weekend, and I was doing my best to keep in touch however I felt he was putting me in a friend zone. He stopped texting me for 2 days. Then Sunday night he had a bad dream woke up and rang me to make sure I was okay. I texted him the next morning asking if he was okay and that he gave me a bit of fright. He never replied. I started to get a real uneasy feeling in me. I had stopped praying at this point. I texted him asking if he still wanted to get back together and he said I don’t think we will be sorry.
I asked to meet him, as I wanted more clarification. He said that when I went away he thought I was no longer interested and that it was time for him to move on. Which was strange because I was texting him telling him how much I was looking forward to seeing him when I get back. He also told me while I was away he made the decision to go over to America to go save his brother and bring him to the lord. Which is awesome I think however I was still upset that I didn’t know what if he still wanted me. I sent him a massive long text a couple of days later telling him how much I loved him and that I really wanted to make it work and work out the issues and that if he no longer wanted me back he needed to let me know.
He never responded till a couple of days later. He asked to meet. He never mentioned anything about the text and tried to act normal. When I asked him he said he didn’t know what to say. He then kept acting normal, asking about my day and everything. I asked him if he still loved me and he said how could I stop. I have been praying for healing once again and clarification over the matter. He leaves in 1 week however I still have no idea where I stand and what this means. Occasionally we talk but I have to initiate it. I’m confused and not sure if I want to spend 3 months waiting for him to get back home and then him telling me its over and there’s no chance again. I am also very worried he will meet someone over there or there’s another girl he has been seeing as he has been on 2 dates with a girl and she seems to like everything he does on facebook and instagram.
I’m confused and would love advice over the matter or any prayers that have helped you overcome situations like mine.
God bless x