Hi there,
I am just seeking some guidance, as my boyfriend of 3 and a half years broke up with me 7 months ago. He broke up with me due to me telling some lies about my financial situation. I know it was wrong and have asked god for forgiveness and I have felt peace over it. I am a devoted Christian and I know God answers prayers.
After we broke up I was very devastated. I cried and I prayed ALOT. My ex was still in contact with me, we’d speak and text most days, but I was still hurting and pining over him begging for him back. It came to the point where we weren’t moving anywhere and I felt like I was just setting myself up for hurt. This went on for 4 months. I asked him and he said there wasn’t a chance we’d get back together. I still saw him at church.
I was praying for reconciliation and moving the mountains between us. He came back to me again, keeping in regular contact, he even came to see me the night before my birthday and gave me a big hug and kiss. I cried infront of him then. That weekend a friend saw him out with another girl and told me, I was devastated and got so upset and asked to speak to him and yelled at him and was crying, it was then he once again told me there was never ever a chance of us getting back together.
I made the move to cut all contact from him, deleted him off facebook and deleted his number. I was praying for healing. However one night (3 weeks later) I was reading Mark 9:23 about how all things are possible if you believe. He popped into my head which was really random because I had not thought about him for about a week and thought I was in the process of healing.
I didn’t think much of it because I thought it just must of been a feeling. The next night he saw me at the gym, and he approached me. I ran away. He messaged me that night asking to meet me. So I did. He told me letting me go was the biggest regret and he really missed me and wanted me back. I was emotional and overwhelmed and didn’t know what to say.
A couple of days later I went back to him and said I really wanted to make it work, but he had to be 110% sure that this was what he wanted. He said he did. He said what he said that night he was sure of at the time, but then all of a sudden 2 weeks later he had a change of heart for me.
When I said I wanted him back he said there were terms and conditions. I had to come clean about everything or this was it and he’d walk out of my life for good. As long as I told him everything we could work on our issues and move past them. It took me 3 attempts but I finally came clean about everything. Even about me being on dates with guys while we were broken up.
He didn’t say anything once I came clean about everything, he said he would talk to me later. He kept in touch for a couple of days, then I went away for netball for a weekend, and I was doing my best to keep in touch however I felt he was putting me in a friend zone. He stopped texting me for 2 days.
Then Sunday night he had a bad dream woke up and rang me to make sure I was okay. I texted him the next morning asking if he was okay and that he gave me a bit of fright. He never replied. I started to get a real uneasy feeling in me. I had stopped praying at this point. I texted him asking if he still wanted to get back together and he said I don’t think we will be sorry.
I asked to meet him, as I wanted more clarification. He said that when I went away he thought I was no longer interested and that it was time for him to move on. Which was strange because I was texting him telling him how much I was looking forward to seeing him when I get back.
He also told me while I was away he made the decision to go over to America to go save his brother and bring him to the lord. Which is awesome I think however I was still upset that I didn’t know what if he still wanted me. I sent him a massive long text a couple of days later telling him how much I loved him and that I really wanted to make it work and work out the issues and that if he no longer wanted me back he needed to let me know.
He never responded till a couple of days later. He asked to meet. He never mentioned anything about the text and tried to act normal. When I asked him he said he didn’t know what to say. He then kept acting normal, asking about my day and everything. I asked him if he still loved me and he said how could I stop. I have been praying for healing once again and clarification over the matter. He leaves in 1 week however I still have no idea where I stand and what this means. Occasionally we talk but I have to initiate it.
I’m confused and not sure if I want to spend 3 months waiting for him to get back home and then him telling me its over and there’s no chance again. I am also very worried he will meet someone over there or there’s another girl he has been seeing as he has been on 2 dates with a girl and she seems to like everything he does on facebook and instagram.
I’m confused and would love advice over the matter or any prayers that have helped you overcome situations like mine.
God bless x
I understand what it feels like to be pursuing God with all your heart, and having a partner come into your life and the frustration of them continually making and breaking your heart. Our God is not a God who teases us. God’s man for you is one who will be like Jesus. Read the book of Hosea for that picture. My best advice is to just run so hard to Jesus. Run and don’t look back (Jesus replied, “No one who puts a hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God.” Luke 9:62) Jesus may want to teach you how fulfilling and safe and trustworthy he is. Run to him friend. It will be so hard, that I can promise. Sometimes we have to do what’s best for ourselves, even when it’s not what we want. God is going to do an amazing work in you friend. Hang in there. Praying for you.
Amen!
Relationship… What is it actually? Let me tell you what emotion is. It is just a chemical (or hormone) that your brain produce like Phenylethamine the hormone that results in the feelings we get in the early stages of a relationship. Cocoa beans contain Phenylethamine. eating chocolate might be helpful too. We are all in a soup of chemicals that cause us to have the concept of what each emotion feels. We are not these chemicals so don’t be identified with it by saying, “I am sad”. You are feeling sad but you are not sadness. When you realized this you will feel like you do not need to be under the control of these chemicals like an intoxicated person. So in order for the intoxicated person to stop feeling intoxicated, he needs to stop taking whatever that is causing him to feel intoxicated and throw out all the toxic that is in him. With this example, it is the same with a relationship. An intoxicated person will always be confused. So stop inputting your ex in your system for 3 months at least by completely disappearing from his system as well, and focus on something more incredible like making this world an even more awesome place to be, have dreams that are lofty and super inspiring, have a single powerful purpose to make a difference in the life of your communities. Be a strong leader of your circumstances. If you have to cry, cry very very hard, this is the way your body release toxic hormone. But if you shift your focus back to your ex you are like the drunken who after throwing up reach for the bottle again. throw the bottle. Your ex needs to grow up and be more mature. he needs to focus on becoming the pillar of strength and security rather than about his needs.
Grow your future. It is your responsibility to yourself. Once you are no longer confused by the toxic, your mind finally can comprehend and you are clear to think if this boy is good for you, your future, your children and the community you live in.
God bless you deeply! you need to change your focus. Forget about the bottle for now or else you will just keep going in the same circle coming back to the same spot. Move forward, go for a grander future.
3 John 1:2
King James 2000 Bible
Beloved, I wish above all things that you may prosper and be in health, even as your soul prospers.
Hello Moana,
First off, I want to say that i agree with Diego wholeheartedly. Second, you have been praying to God and while reading our post I could not help but think that you do not even realise that God is answering your prayers. You ask God for clarification and He is showing you that the person you are pining for is playing games with your mind: The moment he sees that you have moved on, is the time he reaches out to you. He wants you to continue to suffer for him and that is a person not worthy of your time and attention.
Matthew 6:33 states,
These things are all the things that human beings tend to worry about, yes, including what you are worried about today. Like Diego said, run fast to Jesus and do not look back. The only love you need is God’s love. In turn, you will love yourself. If you want someone to share this life with, then you may pray for that but you must wait upon The Lord. While you wait, you continue to seek Him (pray, fast, live holy). Be content in The Lord. It is not in HIs will that we date. We are supposed to be courted for marriage not dating. Christians are to be separated and we should be a living testimony so that others can come to Christ. When you are completely in His will, then your blessing will come. It may not come the way you want it to, but His gifts are good and perfect (James 1:17).
I am going to leave you with this testimony and I pray you remember it in your walk as a young lady in Christ. In brief, before I came to Christ, I met someone who presented himself as a Christian. He took me to church but I was not living right. Time and time again, God showed me (like he is showing you) who this man is. But I ignored the signs. As I listened to sermons and read the Bible and found out that fornication was wrong, I still found it hard to let go of this person. I ended up accepting this person’s proposal for marriage not realising he had ulterior motives. I wanted someone to love me so much that I accepted the games, the lies, the cheating… Well, this person’s games continued in the marriage and left me in so much pain I thought I would die. I am now divorced and it took years of total commitment to God to heal me. Morning, noon and night I crawled to God in prayer. Now I can say I have a true relationship with God. I am no longer just a church goer; I now live the way He wants me to. Here is the hard truth: God left me up to a reprobate mind and allowed me to marry someone who would never give me the love I was searching for (Romans 1:28). After ignoring all the signs, I now have to live alone because the person I married is still alive and remarriage while your spouse is alive is against God’s Word (I Cor 7:39).
Young lady, do not ignore the signs. You are so blessed that God did not allow this young man to stay around! Learn to live as God wants you to live. Stay content in The Lord. Leave the dating world alone and give your want for companionship over to The Lord. When He is ready to bless you, you will be courted like a queen and you will marry someone who is worthy of all that love you have to give. Learn lessons the easy way, not the hard way as I have.
May God bless and keep you forever.
Praise d lord… I would just say that don’t give up so …pray..n pray n pray that his heart would give d first priority to our lord n saviour Jesus christ ..many a times we fail to make Jesus to be in d midst of our relationships. God test us to check our faith and when we fail to keep our faith strong in d lord n make each other as an idol than everything shatters. I m also going thru a big battle…n I believe that we r serving a living God and not a dead God n for God all things are possible.
Let it go. The Lord does not need us to do his work. If the Lord ordained it the. He will put it back together without your help. The boyfriend doesn’t seem sure that he wants to get back with you. You allow him to keep you as a choice if any of his new prospects don’t work. Also he should be willing to marry you if you’re going to get back together because you have to live right by God. When a man loves a woman he doesn’t need to make up his mind. He wants you over all things and can’t wait to be with you. He will want to be with you in all of his spare time and marry you. He will never be unsure. The lessons of the youth are hard learned sometimes but they must learn somehow.
I understand how you are feeling when you chasing someone who doesn’t chase you back. we are human. Proverbs 18:22 says ‘ HEEE who finds a wife, finds a GOOD THING’ it did not say ‘SHE’. Be anxious for nothing..Phillipians 4:6. God made you PERFECT! and thats final. obviously this guy is not genuine so just let it go. I was single for three years then i fornicate on and off for about a year. It was an awful feeling. Then i found myself preparing to go to a wedding that i didn’t plan. After wedding i was socializing with the best man. We both were in unstable situation. I didn’t think anything of it ’cause i had made up my mind to just refocus on my Jesus again. This November will be our first anniversary. My husband is a Teacher that loves and gives his students is ALL. I have two daughters before my husband and i prayed and asked God for a trustworthy man to be the head in our lives and…..oh boy…God NEVER fails. Hes everything that i dreamed of having in a man. So I’ll say to you again, Be anxious for nothing. He will let him find you in due season.
God is there . He will guide you. Dont Worry
Philippians 4:6-7 New King James Version (NKJV)
6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; 7 and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
Pay attention to this man’s behavior towards you. It is childish and un-Christlike. Your prayer was answered in this man’s behavior. You’re being shown that he is not mature and you’re being jerked around by his childishness. Grow up and let go and return to your walk with Christ.
As for today’s ladies they don’t let GOD choose for them, but they rather go out and put their selves into a relationship that they don’t know of and when it is time for problems they come back for GOD. IT IS GOOD THERE IS nothing too late in CHRIST JESUS COME AND EXPERIENCE BETTER.
There are things to observe when entering in to a relationship as a child of Jesus
Hi,
My name is nithya.I am a saved married woman 34 yrs old, married to a Hindu.I was saved before marriage but as I come from Hindus family’s I bowed to parental pressure to marry a Hindu.After 31/2 yrs(roughly) into marriage, I bowed again to pressures and remained separated( in the sense I went to stay with parents in another country) but was all the while very sure of rejoining my husband become he has always been kind and loving even though I sing Christian songs and read bible.Our parents’ pressures were too much( for both of us) since they didn’t believe in Jesus.Those who don’t completely bow to Jesus bow to satan’s tactics I think so in the form of doubts.I recently returned to my husband and guess what he said he was very happy to have me back.
Also guess what I prayed to Jesus to answer me why my husband didn’t answer my calls sometimes and lied to me sometimes. In a few days I read some things he’d written down when I was away, how his parents’ had urged not to contact me, how his ego also stood in the way of initiating a call, how he regretted having lied to me due to pressures. I thought of him, ah such a nice soul. But guess what the moment I confronted this to him he was backing away again. I tell you satan is still standing very close to all of us, looking to find ways to cause confusion, separation,sadness etc.But since i had gracefully accepted my husband’s request 8 months ago to spend time with my parents and not argued but believed in Jesus, He(Jesus) only did wonders for me.
I got baptised for till now I believed but did not get immersion baptised be so due to parental pressure. And u know I stayed alone, not mingling with Hindu parents or visiting their temples.God took care of me, maybe husband and also guess what my in laws supplied my finances!!I don’t work nor have any savings at all but I stayed and enjoyed more comfort than my husband, my in laws or parents. Haha, God gave me a brand new rental house to stay!!!
What I want to say is don’t worry if bc is going to call u, marry u or bother u even. Thank the Great One for giving providence so to you.Thanks giving multiplies grace and His grace is sufficient for you. So remember this formula always!! May the Lord lead u always.
Moanna,
My advice for you would be to move on. This man is clearly confused and taking you for a ride. A man who wants to be with you will not take you through confusion and double mindedness. Break up with him once for all and focus on your life and moving on.
Much love
Hello, I have been through something similar and I’m about your age. Your feelings are not meant to be played with. Your worth is not meant to be measured by your finances or any earthly things. If you’re like me, this guy causes you to cry and over think, often. If so, you need to run. just let it go, and focus on loving and knowing God. Be aware of his presence and love for you. He loves you more than a man ever will.. be at peace with that. When ever you are feeling down about this guy, Go out side and feel Gods presence In the beauty of the sunset, rise, or night sky. Thats what I do, and It really comforts me.