This is long guys, but worth it. All Glory to Jesus!!!
10 years ago, I was 20 years old. A virgin who hoped to wait for marriage. At that time, I hadn’t had any boyfriend before. I moved a lot due to some families struggles so never built relationships. When I got to college that changed. I began to make new friends. But they were the wrong friends. They would actually mock me for being a virgin. Slowly but surely, the hope I had to wait for marriage began to feel shameful to me. I was also the only virgin I knew. I went to my first party ever with these same friends and met a guy. And so my story begins
After dating for a month, I gave in and gave him my virginity. It was the worst decision I have ever made. I knew it at that moment and even cried. I felt so convicted but at the same time, I liked the attention from a man for the first time in my life, so I went back. We slept together twice. I realized the 2nd time that he removed the protection. I didn’t know until it was over.
I felt disgusting and so used. I also should mention that by that time drama in my life went from 0 to 100 after starting to date this man. I was miserable. In that moment, the scales had been removed from my eyes. That same day, I prayed to the Lord, repented and let him know I would only focus on him because nothing gave me peace
That week, I had flu like symptoms. I remember being on campus and having to run to the restroom to throw up. I knew something was wrong. I also had an outbreak. Me, the girl who was a virgin until 21 had an outbreak after 2 sexual experiences. I knew what it was but I buried it. I didn’t want to face it
That summer I became so close to God. Like I totally transformed and became a new creature. I began to read the Bible and seek his face. I cut off all of my ‘friends’ and focused solely on Jesus. I continued in celibacy and grew in Christ. I never got tested for Herpes or any other STD. Even in Christ, I was petrified to come to the knowledge of the result of my sin. I hated myself for it and lived with shame and guilt for this entire time. I would cry over the years and just become overwhelmed just thinking about it. In my mind, if I had something, I deserved it and will just stay single and keep it to myself. I did not date at all during this time. I never told anyone but God.
I should also mention that since I was 12, I had a condition called hidradenitis suppurativa that would cause painful boils and bumps on my groin and armpits. So often times, would try convince myself I had nothing, citing that condition. However the symptoms were much different. Yes I experience the tingling/burning sensation. It would happen a lot during my cycle and was painful.
In late 2019, I started seeing someone for the first time in a decade and things were going well. But the fear started coming up again. I could not date someone and not know the truth. Yes, we were celibate, but I felt like I was deceiving him by not seeking the truth. “What if we were to get engaged?” I would think. I became overcome with fear.
That guy was not for me anyway and the Holy Spirit told me to end things with him and I did but this time i could not ignore the push to get tested. One night, the nudging became so heavy. I cried because I knew I had to face this decade long fear. It’s the last thing that I held back from God. In my mind, even though I know he has forgiven me, I believed that I deserved whatever I got because of my action. I hadn’t forgiven myself and a hated myself for it.
That night I began to see all these ads for HIV and I started to think, what if I have that! I even started looking on YouTube and saw one of my High School classmates doing an interview about how he contracted HIV. I was going nuts. I cried to God and let him know I knew what I had to do and that no matter the outcome, I would trust him. I prayed this through tears. This was the early morning hours of March 1 2020.
As I was praying and crying a notification popped on my phone. It was from a journaling app I have called day one. The notification simply said something along the lines of “see what you journaled this day 5 years ago”. I ignored it. Later ln that day I checked it and what I journaled on the same exact day 5 years ago (March 1 2015), was a prayer to God about how I was afraid to get tested and that I wanted to trust him. I also mentioned how I knew so much of what he wants and needs to do, hinges on my giving that to him. This is the ONLY entry in my journal that I mention this or pray about it. I had my confirmation.
That boosted my faith. I knew I had to do it and God was indeed speaking. I took the money I had and scheduled an anonymous test for all STDs. It was scheduled for two days later. While cleaning up my apartment the night before the test, I was listening to a prophetic word on YT from Kay Nash who I always listen to. When she finished the next video autoplayed and it was a channel that I’d never seen before. The woman’s channel is called Nissitv and she was giving a word for the week of March 1st. It was called “Divine Reversal”.
I was not paying attention. At some point she began to give words of knowledge and I stopped in my tracks when she said “There is a woman watching who contracted and STD before you were on fire for the Lord”. I KNEW it was me. She began to prophesy and declared healing and said that God was going to reverse it.
I broke down in tears. I rarely ever get prophetic words from others so I was overwhelmed. But I also knew that the test would be positive for something. God prepared my heart. I began building my faith that night. Watching that word over and over as well as praying and watching testimony’s on YouTube of healing.
I got up the next morning and got ready to go. I let God know that I could not do it in my own strength and that I will rely on his strength. I caught a Lyft and went. He comforted me the entire way. The first way was through the Lyft driver who was also a nurse. She kept me laughing and was very funny. No one was in the office when I got there and was greeted with a smile. It took all of 5 minutes and I was out.
Immediately I felt 100lbs lighter. This was the moment that I knew I had been delivered of something, it was fear. I didn’t know the weight I was carrying until I actually got free. The nervous anxious energy I carried and thought was a part of my personality had gone in an instant. I KNEW God was working
I still held onto a sliver of hope that it would all be negative. The test began to roll in the next day. Everything was negative, I except HSV1 and HSV2. I called to go over the results and they explained them. I cried a few minutes and then was reminded of the words he sent me.
I called my mom and told her, I was going to keep it a secret but knew I needed a witness to the miracle that would happen. I was ready to rely on him for healing. I learned all of my life of his healing power and it began to switch on on in my mind. I also reached out to several ministries and requested Prayer for herpes. This is all during corono, so no church services were available to me. I immediately began to labor to rest in the promises of God. I learned that from Pastor Creflo Dollar. That you aren’t doing works to get healing. But your works are to build your spirit and faith so that you can rest in Gods promises.
I read the word, listened to healing sermons and sermons on faith. I listened to healing scriptures. I watched Derek Prince, Creflo Dollar, Joseph Prince. I watched testimonies and eventually found this website and would read the many healing testimonies. Most importantly, spent time worshipping the father.
By this point I KNEW I was healed. I was not having any breakouts and any bumps that I had completely dissolved. But every now and again, I would feel a tingle. Not as severe as it normally would be. But it would be slight. I would declare that I am healed with scripture and it would go away.
One month later In my sleep, I had a dream that I went to a healing service. I went to the alter and hands were laid on me. I fell under the power of the Holy Spirit. I could feel his power. I woke up and immediately said, I’m healed. That day I was led to read this book of a woman of God’s testimony. This was totally random. The book was given to me for free the prior year. It was just collecting dust. I began reading it and several chapters in she stated that God healed her of an incurable STD. Further confirmation!
I knew I needed to get tested again. I did so and today, I got a call from CBN Randomly following up on my prayer request from back in March. They prayed for my healing again, touching and agreeing with me. 30 minutes later, I received my results. God told me to write my testimony without having seen the results earlier this week. I am happy to say that I have been completely healed of HSV1 and HSV2. For those wondering I did a blood test. The Igg test for herpes both times.
I am not only free and delivered from disease, but finally have forgiven myself and the person who gave it to me.
All Glory to Jesus Christ! He is real! He does hear you!! Seek him read the word, worship him for who he is, spend time with him. If you are seeking healing, it is available. Its nothing to him. He also wants your heart!