The first nine entries of this blog were posted on December 28, 2005. However, I wrote them in the Fall of 2003 while my family was displaced by the Old Fire in the San Bernardino mountains of California. I published them previously, but only shared them with close family and friends.
Am very troubled, trying to discern the voice of JESUS. Asking the LORD to speak to me. I felt him say go to the Internet and look up faith by fire. I guess at least I know I´m hearing him correctly. As I wasn’t even sure this web site existed. I’m trying to follow his spirit.(my sheep know my voice.Looking for peace.Could use prayer.
Hi, we must be speaking to the same Jesus, as he told me in my dream to come to FaithByFire also. Anyhow, I am not sure why he asked me to come here, but “HELLO”, I do hope you see this! God Bless!!
John
Hi Hugh and all!
I’m not sure why I was directed here, but maybe Lord Jesus wanted me to see something, or share something, I really don’t know. However, I will share a few tidbits about my little ole wicked sinful life. I accepted the lord about 20 years ago, and I’ve spent most of that time backsliding, worrying, wasting my time and his. Feeling he hated me! Well, he called me back again recently, and he’s empowered me to do more than I ever thought I’d be doing, it’s been a blessing but also very challenging, as now I find myself sharing about the truth with strangers at my Job. I am a cashier at a local grocery store, and I try to share Jesus with some, I just wish I could with all, but you know how that is! Also,my entire family is not saved and I feel like, what am I going to do about it, how? I am not sure they will ever believe me, no matter what I try. And I’ve tried but not with his power or his conviction. I’m trying to get up the courage to confront them all, and I’m not sure I have what is needed to convince them. I seem to mess things up when i try as I’m not an Intellectual, and my speaking communication skills are very limited at best! I’m just simple ole me! I am surprised that Jesus still loves me after all that I am: my wickedness, selfishness, pride to name just a few, and how I think I may have commited Blasphemy several times! I just don’t know that for sure. There were moments, when I Screamed at God, yelled out obsenities at him, so maybe I did blaspheme?? Anyhow, I cannot explain his still calling me, at least I feel he is, in my heart. I thought that he’d really given up on me, honestly! That I was a hopeless case that he would “CUT OFF” soon enough. Besides deep feelings of Homosexuality, I am steeped in so much other selfishness, living for material things, amassing huge collections of collectibles (Dolls plus) over the years, thinking that that was okay, (Inwardly by the spririt, I always felt is was wrong and I was going in the wrong direction) hurting many persons around me, for the sake of my collections and avoiding him through it all. And there was a long period when i replaced the Lord with my Persian Cat breeding program, well, you get the drift, I’ve always been an idolator, dethroneing Jesus for my Idols. Now, after a few reawakenings from the Lord, I don’t feel like I need the collections anymore, and I’m selling all the stuff on Ebay, because the Lord has done a great work in me! The cats have been gone for a long time now, and I let them all go, I did love them though! I do feel guilty selling my collectibles to someone else, as it’s like feeding someone elses sin. I will not justify this, I guess I am sinning and will pay the price! I need the sell all of this stuff, so I can pay off my huge CC debt. Anyhow, I guess I am posting this for those individuals who feel hopeless, who feel ignored of Jesus. That Maybe he’s not in their problems, that he’s forgotten about them and you. That you feel he’s not listening to you. Well, Let me tell you, with all my worthless heart, he is there!! He’s always always there amidst all your troubles and cares and your worries, he’s there with you through it all. He knows you much more than you know you, so keep the faith!! We get discusted with ourselves, feeling we’re too wicked and hopeless, but let me assure you, he’s there, even if you don’t feel like he’s with you, he is always there!! He is totally the trusting brother and father!! I kept seeing FAITHBYFIRE in my dream, flashing right before my eyes. The dream said, check the Internet, so I did, and I hope no one is offended by what I have written here. God Bless you all!
John