I was lucky enough to have a good stepfather walk me through my early years of childhood, but when it was time for me to become a man, he had already crossed over and I was alone. Of course, I had my mother and she did everything she could to give me a good upbringing, but I never had that masculine father figure around. This left me exposed to the indoctrination of a godless culture.
The idea of getting married and having a family was pure misery. Anything less than fornication would be a waste of existence. Self-indulgence was my religion and it was preached by everyone I knew. I would meet girls and say whatever I needed to say to get them in bed. I would then proceed to tell them how this could never be anything more than what it is now. Just a quick opportunistic fulfillment of self and nothing more. It’s safe to say that by the time I met the girl who would become my child’s mother, I was already consumed by this culture of darkness. So was she.
We would be intimate with each other, then we would argue and constantly remind each other that we didn’t need one another. When she got pregnant I hid my concern cause I didn’t want to look weak. I thought that maybe with a child involved we would begin to change. I was wrong.
It wasn’t till we separated (and a few months later she was carrying another mans child) that I took a step back and began to realize how truly fallen I’ve become. To allow life, love and my sons future to be compromised and for what? My pride? Who cares. I was nothing.
Then one night while driving home from work I heard a song from an old Christian band I used to listen to. He Will Reign by Sleeping Giant. Although I’ve heard this song many times, at that moment it spoke to me like never before. I felt the lyrics in my soul. “You lift up our heads and sing We will reign forevermore… You call me beloved Lord, so we sing We will reign forevermore… You are worthy, You alone, we sing out We will reign forevermore… We exalt you Lord We will reign forevermore!”.
As I was singing along to the song I heard the voice of the Lord, as clear as day, say to me
“I am enough.”
I began to just pour out with tears streaming down my face. All resentment, all pride, all anger, all jealousy all hatred was gone in that instant and I could feel an inner peace that I’ve never experienced before. In that moment I began to shift from my old self serving ways into a disciple of the Lord Jesus Christ. I was no longer a slave to the elitist prison of secular culture.
He has completed me in every way and prepared me to be the father that my son deserves; Proverbs 22:6, Ephesians 6:4, Colossians 3:21.
Remember that Jesus is bigger than your situation and there’s nothing he can’t pull you out of. He is uncompromising in his love for you and he is the same yesterday, today and forever.
