Hi guys. I pray whoever reads this is well and will be well for the days to come, full of faith and full of the Holy Spirit.
Psalm 71:15-17 GNT says,
“I will tell of your goodness; all day long I will speak of your salvation, though it is more than I can understand. I will go in the strength of the Lord God; I will proclaim your goodness, yours alone. You have taught me ever since I was young, and I still tell of your wonderful acts.”
When I was very young, I had a nightmarish life. There are bits and pieces I remember such as being locked in a room, starved, beaten, abused in all manners one could think of and more. I have seen and experienced evil things I will not discuss here. Let me just say that it was a living nightmare.
One day as I lay on the floor, I had a dream or vision. In reality there was a single barred window high up on the wall. In this dream/vision it was replaced by a stained-glass window with a woman on it with a bright light behind the window. A whisper came to me. It said, “I see you”. The truth and details are hidden from my mind, but I remember waking up with tremendous strength and purpose. I remember opening a door that was locked in many places from the other side and tackling a full-grown man over a couch, picking up a lamp, throwing it through a window, jumping through the window and I remember running aimlessly down the street as I had never been out of the house.
I was 4 years old. An officer stopped me, and he followed me back to the house where they found my mother and her boyfriend, and the drugs and the kids locked in other rooms (my half-brothers and my sister) and from there I really don’t remember much. I’m not sure if that even happened. It could be that the vision just imparted strength and courage.
Tears come to my eyes as I type this. I just know that my adoptive mother says that I saved everyone in that house. Me and my sister were adopted into one family and my half-brothers another. Now let me skip forward. Yes, there is more please keep reading.
Psalm 23:4 – “Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no danger, because you are with me; your rod and your staff, they protect me.”
Throughout life I was not doing well. Skipping school, doing drugs, vandalism, hanging with the wrong people. In general, I was just going down the wrong path. My parents signed me up for a program called youth challenge when I was 18. Me and my best friend Stan ran away and hid in our favorite spot in the neighborhood because I did not want to go.
Somehow my dad found us. This was a very hidden spot. It was the Lord’s will that I go. I looked at it like well I guess this is just meant to be so off I went to a north Little Rock national guard military base for this program. I met a guy in there named cadet Bowers. We quickly got into the subject of paganism. I always knew in my soul that there was more to life than this world, I mean, there is a point in space we just can’t go, it’s infinite, I refused to believe that our lives were insignificant I knew there was more.
So, I turned to witchcraft because I wanted tangible proof of this. I was never a practitioner of witchcraft but it It intrigued me. So this guy Bowers says to me he can show me the way. And I followed his teachings for a very brief time. He did this thing one day where he had an origami pentagram with a strip of paper inside with my name written and droplets of my blood on it. He placed his hands over it for about three minutes. My eyes did not leave this man. When he picked his hands up it had vanished.
When we got back to barracks, he told me to check my locker, so I did. The pentagram was inside on the bottom. He told me to open it. And when I did the paper inside along with any trace of blood was gone. I was so ignorantly blinded at this point because I was astounded by what I had seen.
Shortly after I was watching him get his hair shaved and I went into a sort of trance. His body turned dark and there was this liquid black smoke coming off of his skin. It literally terrified me inside. When I asked him about it he said I hate getting my head shaved. I wanted to kill her.
It was at that moment I knew I had really screwed up and after that I ignored Bowers. He got kicked out of the program soon after for fighting. He severely injured another guy there. And I was alone. So alone. And scared.
I began to have dreams always of something watching me as a slept, shooting into my body and getting slammed against the wall waking up in panic attacks and in sweats and my heart feeling like it would pop. I wanted something tangible and boy did I get it. I didn’t know what to do. I looked to the sky, to the stars. I had never picked up a Bible at this time in life, never even really knew a single fact about Jesus. I didn’t pray. But I begged for help. For something to please come help me. Anything. I was helpless.
Soon after that I was approached by a guy from third platoon. Cadet Bennett. We became quick friends and I told him about Bowers and what had happened. He said man that’s not good. Not good at all. Because I know now that I unwillingly put my soul on a platter for Satan. Strangely enough Bennett was also into witchcraft. He said he would try to help. What did I have to lose? I was desperate.
Me and Bennett did a thing where we sat by a tree, and he touched my knee and muttered things under his breath. For about three minutes. 3 so many 3s even in the Bible 3 comes up a lot as far as I have read so far. That was it. He got up and it was time for him to return to his barracks. I said well ok is that all…I mean what do I do now? He told me to focus on healing and meditation. And he was gone. I never saw him again.
Psalm 121:5-8:
“The Lord watches over you — the Lord is your shade at your right hand; the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night. The Lord will keep you from all harm — he will watch over your life; the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore”
So that’s what I did, I talked to the stars, the good energy, the universe. begged for forgiveness I begged for healing, I begged to be normal again. One particular meditation session I was sitting cross-legged in my bunk. People began to notice and make fun of me, saying nasty things.
It got worse. They spit on me, threw things at me, hit me with pillowcases full of things, dragged me and my bunk outside and then back inside, and finally one guy put this gigantic guidon pole which is very heavy, between my legs so when it fell forward the base of the pole pressed up against my testicles. It was extremely painful.
I had my eyes closed throughout all of this. I did not move, I may have winced, but I did not flinch, I was determined to ignore every distraction thrown at me out of respect for my mission to be healed. Always said what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. And all the sudden everything disappeared in the blink of an eye. I was standing in a circular clearing in the middle of a Forrest. It was snowing but it wasn’t cold. So silent you could hear the snow hit the ground.
I turned and heard soft music like humming off in the distance I was compelled to follow. So I followed until the music disappeared then I would have to face a different direction to hear it again and follow. I repeated this until I came up on a massive figure. Female in form dressed in white white than the snow adorned with every jewel you could possibly think of and holding a staff which seemed twice it’s height.
This figure was 5 times my height. I could not speak. But it looked down at me and with no words it raised its staff and smacked it into the ground and I was hit by these rings coming out of it. Instantly I was back in my bunk and I could hear the people around me still taunting me. I don’t know how long I was like that but now there were these symbols, ancient symbols encased in an orange aura filling the entirety of my mind’s eye to the point it felt like it was circling my head.
And from head toe, toe to head up and down I felt like my body was being scanned. I felt hot and cold but it was like nothing I had ever felt before. I felt truly clean and. I don’t know…more than I was. The next day and to this very moment I write this I see endless seas of transparent dots and lines swimming in and out everything. And when I stare at it I get a sense of peace. I knew I had been healed. I just looked into the sky and said thank you. Whatever you are. Thank you so much.
I went to try to find cadet Bennett but nobody had ever heard of him. He simply did not exist. Again, I just knew that I had something protecting me. At the end of the youth challenge program there was a freak storm that formed over my barracks. We were told to hide in the latrine(bathroom) so I did, and I was scared. I felt like something was coming for me.
A lot of the other kids went out to the windows to look at the storm and one kid yelled THERES a FACE in the SKY. And other kids confirmed it and people were freaking out. I dared not look for I knew what it was. It was something evil, something angry, but as quick as the storm had come, it vanished in about 10 minutes. And no one ever talked about after that. It’s as if it never happened. Very strange.
I’m going to skip forward now to the final section of this testimony. Thank you for reading this far.
John 14:6:
Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.”
So, I come to the present day. To April 10th, 2024. People had been talking about the eclipse on April 8th saying this is the end; Jesus is coming. I started doing some digging because I was scared. I was unresolved. Let me just say I had a fear of God.
So, for the first time I opened the Bible. And it was recommended to me to start with the gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. As I read, I was amazed as I have heard of Bible study and people dealing with so much confusion and doubt and highlighting passages with question marks and just really diving deep trying to understand.
As I read through the parables, the teachings of Jesus Christ, I was putting hearts over the things I loved it all made sense to me. I read about the crucifixion of Jesus. On April 10th 2 days after the solar eclipse, I was on mushrooms, and I meditated. My thoughts drifted back to military school to that moment when I was meditating, and people were trying to distract me in all manner from my goals.
And then it hit me. Jesus is real. He saw my commitment and my dedication to being healed. What I went though was similar to how he was treated when he was out on a cross. He was mocked. Spit on. Stabbed, tortured. He saw me. And he picked me up. When I made this connection, I was filled with a feeling I never knew. Love. I am an extremely selfless person I’ve never had a lot. What I do have I give everything to people; it is a loving thing to do yet I never felt the feeling of love. I just knew that it was the right thing to do, and it made me happy. Every time.
Love is not a romantic fuzzy feeling. Love is a decision of the will to work for the betterment and goodness of another person. It is simply not enough just to live those who are nice. You have to love everyone even if they look like a murderer or smell or can barely talk or are deformed or are weak. Everyone deserves mercy and love. I have so many stories I could truly write a book. My entire life is a testimony as a matter of fact. My childhood was taken from me, a normal life was taken from me. But is written.
“Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.”
Even as a little boy and as a grown man I was able to deny the darkness that was my past whereas so many kids that go through these things have terrible lives. God bless them all.
And so for the first time in my life after making this connection to Jesus I said out loud.
“Yes of course Jesus! Of course, I accept you in my heart we are one in the same thank you for dying on the cross so that I may be forgiven of my sins”.
And at that moment I was scared. Of doubt as many people probably are of asking for things in fear that it may not come to pass and damage the integrity of their faith but I tell you now people. Jesus gives you what you need not what you want. I asked Jesus for one thing and one thing only and I said it in HIS NAME. I asked this. Jesus Christ. Please I beg you. Allow me to be as close to you as possible” that’s it.
Two days later I threw out my PlayStation 5 my tv, my virtual reality equipment, I gave up drinking and drugs I stopped looking at porn and I stopped masturbating. It is one thing to at one moment decide to do this. Yet. That was almost a month ago now. There are zero desires and zero thoughts. Zero temptations. No one’s perfect. Although one temptation has come back and that’s porn which I am working on.
Guys. These are 20 year long addictions especially video games that is literally allllllll I ever did or thought about. I had almost 500 games in my library. Thousands of dollars. The only selfish things I’ve ever done are video games and drugs. And they’ve destroyed my relationships.
I understand now. When I asked him to be close to Him, he PLUCKED these things away from him so I could not be distracted from him. When I wake up. God. When I walk. God. When I drive God. When I speak. God. When I help. God it’s all I ever think about now.
I pray to Him to give me a grand stage that I might share this with as many people as I can. I ask everyone to do this. Accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior believe that he died in the cross for our sins. Read through the parables and apply them to your life. Meditate and ask him to be as close to him as possible. God bless all of you.
Thank God for His saving grace. Thank God for bringing you from the horrible pit and miry clay and establishing you in a glorious realm.
Every manufacturer of products has a purpose in mind concerning the products. It is the manufacturer that determines the purpose he/she wants the manufactured products to perform. The manufacturer has the best knowledge of the products. A good manufacturer will provide the Manual needed to make use of and repair the products. Every product that fulfill its purpose of manufacture is effective product.
From the above scripture, we could see that God is our creator. Also that He has created us for a purpose. God has created you for a purpose. God has provided us with Manual through which we can know our purpose and fulfill the purpose effectively. The Manual is the Bible. You need to know the purpose of God for you. Ask God to reveal His purpose for creating you to you and also that He should empower you to fulfill the purpose. Pray and study the Bible regularly.
May you fully fulfill the purpose of God for your life. Keep serving God faithfully.
Shalom
Thank you for replying!! Things just keep getting wilder and wilder for me. The first thing you typed was from Jeremiah 1:5 KGV. I’ve been hearing ringing in my ears since the day of my connection with Jesus. Almost a month and a half now. I considered that maybe there was something wrong with me but no…it’s the exact opposite. I always hear ringing in the middle of my head…it shifts from left to right.
Three nights ago, Satan came for me in my dreams. I walked through a door in my dream and then all doors disappeared. I was in a narrow stairway up and down you could see as the far as the eye could see. Deep deep deep down the stair was a shadow blacker than black that formed from the darkness and gave form to a creature of sorts…it looked up at me and s*** towards me from the depths…before it could reach me…and it got CLOSE. Jesus pulled me out of that corridor. I woke up and immediately went back to sleep and in my next dream I went through another doorway, and I was back in the same stairway as before. This time it was waiting for me and it came down from me from above but I was prepared and I was able to will myself away…
BUT…now here’s where I am just freaked out…before I had this dream, I was in a trance like state from meditating…I did not have my Bible with me. I did not pray for sleep protection…and I did not bring a lamp into the bathroom where I live currently…and my LEFT EAR was ringing so loud it was painful. But I was locked into this trance. That’s when Satan attacked…when I finally came back to…the message I received was the importance and the power of prayer. My soul was taken from Satan’s hands back in military school and he’s PISSED. He will find everything he can to get at you. He used my crutches and my sins against me…email me please or call me.479 350 0260.
I read from your comment about meditation. Maybe it is the meditation that is opening the door for the devil to have access into you. You need to submit yourself totally to the leading of the Holy Spirit. You must nullify every door through which the devil gain access into you. You need to fill your mind totally with the word of God. You need to read your Bible and pray regularly. Also, you need to fellowship with believers.
May the Prince of Peace grant you perfect peace in Jesus’ name.
In case there is any further things you want us to talk about, this is my email: sundayakoduministries@gmail.com.
Hey Brian, thank you for sharing the details of your incredible journey. Just to add a few things to what Sunday said, this is a clear turning point in your life. You’ve decided to follow Christ. You’re different now and have died to your old ways of life. You know, God made it so that we have to rely on each other. We all need fellowship with brothers and sisters in the body of Christ. So, if you have not already, connect with a local congregation of believers that puts Jesus Christ and his word first. You will find encouragement there and will be able to help others. God bless you, bro.
I’m going to email you again. Things just keep getting crazier by the day. With my eye and my heart fixed on God I see the path slowly being revealed. I have more to share!
Brian, I guess that when you mentioned “meditate” at the end I was thinking that you were referring to being silent before the Lord, praying, meditating on the Word of God as in Psalm 119:78 ESV that says:
Do you mind me asking what you mean by meditate? Thanks. God Bless.
What I do when I meditate is just relax and think about God and think about all the events of the recent past. Pretty soon after I start meditating, I see a lot of colors it’s really soothing. I do that until I fall asleep. It helps me to fall asleep. I also talk to God out loud and I pray out loud and pray in my mind. There is just so much that has happened in my life. I know not to lean on my own understanding. But I ask for wisdom that I may see the truth of things. And recently I got attacked in my meditation by a demon I’m sure of it. I don’t know if you are able to see what I wrote to everyone here. But I me a solid commitment to be done with porn and masturbating. I put a ring on my finger as a promise to never do that again. And I think that pissed Satan off. I did not have my Bible with me I didn’t pray for protection as I slept, and I didn’t bring my lamp in the bathroom with me. So I feel like he saw his opening and took it. Before I continue did you read about that dream I had in the narrow corridor?
Yes, I did read that about the dream.. praying and staying in the word – Great idea. But I kind of agree with Sunday, the type of meditation you’re doing sounds like it could be opening doors to the enemy. IMHO. Just had a thought: what if you talk to a pastor or leader at your local Bible believing church?
I have a meeting with some people this Thursday. I asked the Lord to guide me to fellowship. These people get to know you they talk to you about God and your experiences. They are pastors I believe. They do a thing called ignition spiritual exercises which is you are given a portion of the Bible to read and study and you meet and talk about it everyday. But I believe through this I will find where I need to go. Because lately God has been giving me all sorts of signs. The other day I heard my name being called out in my head twice. I go where I go with the grace of God. Always have. Just didn't know it. Thank you for keeping up with this conversation.
Hey Brian, do you mean “Ignatian?” as in this (this) instead of “ignition” perhaps? I hadn’t heard of it but read about a bit about it. As your brother in Christ, I strongly recommend seeking out a regular bible-believing church / pastor where they can help you be grounded in the word of God. Let us know how you’re getting along please. Praying for you.
So when I keep hearing this ringing that shifts from side to side and if not on one side just rests in the middle of my head I see it as a way of discerning good from evil. Last night I decided to read that section of the Bible that popped out when I dropped it..I read that about the right and the left. And I was absolutely shocked.
I read the unread the new revised standard version btw. When I went to go get a Bible I wound up at a morman church and they wanted to sell me one. I declined and went to another church and one was given freely. Wimhichnis the NRSV
I like NASB, in NKJV, AMP and ESV.. I also like to use biblehub.com where you can compare a lot of different translations. Side by side.. lately, I’ve been using this free app called Logos, which is really cool.
Oh yea you must be to moderator hehe. The way I got locked into that trance like state soon after I started meditating was of the devil’s design. He used things that I used to do to women to try to seduce me but it disgusted me and turned my tongue bitter and sour and even stung a little bit. He knows the things I used to love to do and he used it against me. It’s difficult to explain. But I think after I made my promise Satan knew what was in my heart and how serious I was and in a desperate attempt tried to steal me back. I know all this sounds crazy…and then a piece of my Bible fell out, almost the whole gospel of Matthew. The parables the teachings of Jesus. Where I first started reading the Bible actually. And I’ve been telling people to read and try to understand the parables and apply Jesus’ teachings to they’re life…the ringing in my left ear being sooooooo loud…right before and during my trance like state where Satan had a hold of me…I perceive as a warning. Like Jesus was crying out to me. And when I read the Bible or have profound thoughts and do good deeds my right ear rings. It’s strange man. But I feel like I’ve been blessed with something I don’t fully understand yet. It says in the Matthew’s gospel this, which has me locked in a contemplative state as of late. All the nations will be gathered before him and he will separate people from one another as a Shepard separates the sheep from the goats. He will but the sheep on the right and the goats on the left.
Thank you Brian for the courage to share your testimony generously. I was touched by your definition of Love and I will use it in a marriage class I have next week! Also when you talked about asking Jesus to be close to Him, it also touched me personally. This is because back in 2001, I heard this dialogue in my head like this – Voice: Get close to Jesus and you will know His mystery. Me: Why mystery, why not mysteries, does Jesus have only one mystery? Voice: The mystery is that Jesus is the son of God. Over the years of my struggle with lots of evils including porn, my mind goes back to this experience and I now know it was the Holy Spirit inviting me to a close relationship with Jesus. Now I know from your testimony that I need to ASK Jesus to draw me close to him as possible. I do that now. Thanks very much. And also like the other brothers before me advised- you will need a community of believers to grow and be steadfast. Congratulations
Wow man that made me cry. Thank you. How could I ever have a true loving relationship without putting God first..so getting rid of my earthly desires made me understand that putting God first is the most important thing. The same applies for any marriage or relationship. I don’t know if I’m allowed to share my phone number, but it is 470 350 0260. I have so much to share, you know… I’ve been hearing this ringing in my ears since that day and three nights ago it was revealed to me what it meant. I was attacked by a demon as I meditated…I did not have a Bible with me this night and I did not pray for protection as I slept. I was drawn into a trance like state I couldn’t escape, and my left ear was ringing so loud it was almost unbearable…a would like to tell you about my dreams that night…the ringing in my ears signify spiritual guidance…man I’m getting chills…the left ear ringing is a warning…a sign that I am not doing gods will or that something bad is about to happen. I was being warned of an attack i just didnt know it…when I came back to reality, I understood the power and the importance of prayer. The next day I wrote down tons of prayers in my journal and as I did this my right ear was ringing loud…which signifies good things, a clap on the shoulder if you will…a…good job son. When I read the Bible it rings loud in the right ear…when I have certain thoughts it rings loud in the right ear.
I started thinking deeply about this last night and remembered something three weeks back or so I dropped my Bible on the floor and a section of it popped out. I saw that it was a part of the gospels and I was like woops! But I left it alone and decided that maybe it was a sign ..but I left it alone and decided to come back to it later…so last night I typed in Google the right and left in the Bible and it said…man…it said…the condemned will sit at the left side and the saved will sit on the right…I thought about my ears ringing…my left ear rang painfully loud before my demonic attack. I went and I decided to see what piece of the Bible has popped out and I was able to match the verse in Google to a page which was part of the pieces that fell out. The gospels of Matthew..it’s the parables. The teachings of Jesus…almost the entire gospel of Matthew fell out..I went to the verse I found in Google and behold! I found this, Mathew 25.45…
All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separate the sheep from the goats. He will put the sheep at his right hand and the goats at his left. He will look at the people to the right and say come you that are blessed by my father, inherit the kingdom prepared from the foundation of the world. For you I was hungry, and you gave me food to eat. I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink. I was a stranger and you welcomed me. I was naked and you gave me clothing. I was sick and you took care of my. I was in prison and you visited me. Truly I tell you just as you did it to one of the least of these who are members of my family you did it to me….yeah bro! I have done these things all my life even when I had nothing! Except for visiting someone in prison…I am So So So So happy that my testimony will be used in your marriage class…may it open the hearts of those willing to receive and show them the way of the truth that they be free. In the name of Jesus Christ, I pray for your students, and I pray for you to have that you wish for in Jesus Christ. Amen!!!!!
Wow thank you so much guys. I have been praying for a grand stage that I may share the glory and truth of our loving father. I will start looking for a local congregation. I've lived my life with faith and faith alone. I have so much to share but it's way to much to type on this phone. I've always wanted and felt like I was meant to save people and help people. Thank you Guys for affirming the need to find fellowship in the Lord.