I was raised in a home where my parents are born again, holy spirit filled Christians. I went to church as a child with them ever Sunday, but as most children do, I wouldn’t pay attention to sermons because I found them boring and wanted to play with my friends at church and go to Sunday school. I always believed in Jesus and our heavenly father and I would pray each day, but I never read my bible as all I wanted to do was play as children do.
When I was 12 years old, God gave me a my first dream from him that I can still remember to this day with every single detail. I am now 36 years old now.
This is the first dream god gave me…..
I was 12 yrs old standing in the kitchen of my older sisters house. A light mist, fog started to enter in the room all around me, and I heard a deep trumpet noise sounding like buuuuurrrrrrr. It made me really alert and I yelled out to my sister, “hurry up come on its time to go Jesus is coming”. But my sister was no where to be seen.
In the blink of an eye, I was standing in a place that is to represent heaven or gods holy place. I looked to the left of where I was standing. And I saw a great mountain, by itself it stood and it was so great and big. On that mountain were millions upon millions of beautiful full thick trees and when the wind blew the trees would all sway perfectly together, not one leaf nor branch swayed out of sync from the rest. Above the great mountain I saw a rainbow that stretched from left to right over the top of the mountain.
Then I saw what looked like a red type looking parrot that flew from left to right across the mountain. As I stood there looking, I was in absolute awe of how beautiful it looked, the colors were indescribable. It was like looking at a painting that had steps out into reality.
Next in a blink of an eye, I was standing on a path, this path went as long as they eye could see and then further than that it just kept going. As I looked down at the path I was standing on, I was in awe of its beauty and design, it was as though it was clear but under it there was no clouds, nor earth nor anything, it was just light, and it was a firm substance that you could walk on just like a path, as I looked closer I saw like a pure gold oil light type substance that moved through the solid clear path (it is very hard to describe as there is nothing like it on this earth). I was in such awe, it was so beautifully made and indescribable.
I then looked to the left of me, and along the path were Mansions upon Mansions that stretched down this path further than my eyes could see. They were pure white color but not like the white we know as color, and as I looked at each mansion they were all trimmed with gold, silver and different types of diamonds, rubies, emeralds and all sorts of jewels.
Above the pillars and entrance to each Mansion, there were all different types of jewels that formed lines, and as I looked down at each mansion they where all different jewels and different sequence. As I looked at this mansion before me and looked at the jewels above its entrance, I was reading the jewels as though they were words and It said the name of whos household this mansion belong too.
I then looked to the right of me down the path I stood on, and along the path spread out were trees one after the other, they were so perfectly spread and every tree was so beautifully nourished and full and tall. (I have tried searching for what type of trees they were but im unable to find any tree of its origin that is these trees)
I then saw a young girl around my age, she was sitting on this bench between two trees, so I walked over and sat down with her and we started to talk and laugh, it felt as through I had always new this girl, like I had known her spirit forever, but I had never met this girl ever in my life nor seen her, but I knew her.
I was then in a blink of an eye standing in a large room that had white marble pillars and the floors and walls and everything in the room was white marble. In this room there stood angels at each point of the room. They did not look like angels as we think, they did not have wings as such. These angels stood around 10ft tall and they wore pure white robes. And as they stood tall they did not speak with me.
I then saw at the other end of this room a great double door, its height was double the size of the angels in the room and to the right of the door stood another angel. I walked up to the door to open it, but the angel beside the door stopped me and told me that I am to wait a little, then I will be called. So I stood what seemed to be 2 minutes then the angel at the door addressed me and said I could now go in and the angel opened the door. I was so excited and feeling really giddy and giggly. It is the type of excitement and giddiness you get when your a child and waiting for you father to come home from work to tell him something exciting.
I was then standing in a room, everything around me was pure white as light but pure and before me was a great white marble slab, as I stood before it, it must have been around 5ft in height and upon that marble slab sat a throne. The throne was in such great height and width. And on that throne sat my heavenly father, I looked before me and could see his feet, his sandals and how they wrapped around his ankles and the purity of his garment hem flowing to his ankles. As I looked up to see him, I could see as high as his knees, but no matter how much I moved to squinted my eyes I could not see past the height of his knees, that is how great in stature he is.
As I stood before my heavenly father on the throne, I was talking to him, asking him many things, and every time he would answer me his voice was the sound of deep rolling thunder. I do not to this day know what I was talking with him about nor what he replied. All I do know is that when I would ask him something he would answer in deep rolls of thunder but my spirit knew what he was saying and understood everything he spoke. This went on to seem like many hours that I spent talking with him. I was in such awe and glory of him.
I was then after this in a blink of the eye standing once again on the path, and I looked before me and their I saw Jesus, I walked up to him and began to speak with him. When I spoke I used man language and when he spoke in return he spoke in man language but although I heard what was said I do not know what was said. As we were talking, I could feel that it was a very in-depth conversation. While he was talking I looked down at his feet, I could see his sandals and what looked like leather straps wrapping around his ankles, and his pure white garment flowed down to his ankles. I saw his hands in front of him in a cupped form. I looked up at his head and face, I could just see that his hair was pure white not old person hair white but absolute pure and as I tried to look upon his face, I could not see past what looked like this brilliance white mist fog static type substance that hid his face, and no matter how much I tried to look past it to see his true face I could not because his face was too holy for me to look upon.
(Keep in mind, I was 12 and never read the bible I only knew what I learn from Sunday school and what my parents taught me about Jesus. It wasn’t till later in life that things I saw in my dream resembled things spoken in the bible)
That is where this dream ended, and when I woke up I was so excited about the dream I had, I told my dream to my parents and they said they believed it was a dream given by God. At this time I didn’t know if it was a dream by God or not all I knew was that it was the most awesome dream I had ever had.
That day I went to school as usual, and I didn’t really tell my friends at school about the dream I had, because they did not understand the things of Jesus or God. That morning me and my friends at school were walking down the path heading to class, and as I walked passed a class room for the grade below mine. I saw that exact girl that was in my dream the night before. She looked exactly the same to every single detail. I was really shocked in myself cause I knew then and there that my dream wasn’t made up by my own mind but in fact god had given it to me and that was his way of telling me and confirming it come from him. I was very shy as a child so I never confronted that girl, nor told her I dreamt about her, so I kept it to myself but later that day found out that she had started going to my school that very morning.
When I was 16, I was at church. I was at this point very close to Jesus and would join in with everything at church, at times I would song lead, I would daily spend time with Jesus in prayer, I had no shame of telling people I love Jesus and always acknowledged his truth and existence. I fell in love with a young man my age at church and we were very bonded, at 18 we got engaged to be married but as the marriage drew near, I guess you could say Satan came against us and the relationship failed. I was then lured into the ways of the world and stopped going to church, and lived a life in disobedience towards Jesus. I fell pregnant at the age of 19, and then while pregnant became single and would have to give birth while single and no father around for my son. But all though I was disobedient and absent from Jesus, I would still pray at times and never disown him.
When I was 19 yrs old and around 6 months pregnant, God gave me another dream.
This is the second dream that god had gave me.
I was standing on the top of this hill, and as I looked down in this valley region I could see a large bonfire in the center, there were groups of people near this bonfire, to the furthest north east there where many buildings that where dark and no lights or people within them, they looked desolate. To the north right of the bonfire I saw more of the same building and in front of these building I saw many people running around like they were lost or scared. Above these people I saw what looked like angels flying around above them.
A great angel then flew up right in front of me, it must have been around 10ft tall, but this time these angels had wings, its wing span was the same length of its body that spanned out each side, these angels did not look white like we think all angels do, but they seemed to be of a very dark brown color but I did not fear them, I had a sense that they were sent by God to direct and bring order. I cannot remember seeing what the angels face look like nor what it wore, all I can recall noticing is that it had leather straps and had an appearance of that of a soldier or commander of such.
I looked up above this angel and the whole place was dark, and thick black clouds covered the whole sky turning everything black, and as I looked back at this angel in front of me I saw that its head was turned and looking back at the people running around confused in front of the buildings with the angels above them. I then looked around the angel, and as I watched the people running around, I realised they were moving about like confused and scared sheep and the angels above them were guiding them as a sheppard would. I then heard a loud deep trumpet sound that emitted through the whole atmosphere, and just like the dream I had when I was 12 yrs old hearing that trumpet sound, again it made me feel alert and in great need to get ready for the return of Jesus.
I was then standing in a corridor of this building that had no roof, and as I walked down this corridor I passed room after room each side of me, as I walked down a great sorrow and pain hit me and I looked in through the door way of this one room. And there I saw a woman curled up on the floor and in her arms wrapped up she held her baby. She was sobbing and weeping and in so much sorrow and I could feel all her pain in her heart. This woman looked up at me and while sobbing she begged me. Please take my baby with you for I cant god, and she begged and begged me. But no matter how much I felt the woman’s pain, a proudness came over me and I told the woman I cant take her baby for the decision is Jesus alone to make, but inside me I felt proud that I knew I was going to be with the Lord even though she wasn’t.
I was then standing down at the bonfire, and again heard the trumpets sounding buuuuurrrrr. And I saw my ex fiancé from when I was 18. And I was so excited to see him, I ran up to him and grabbed his hand and started to pull at him saying come on lets go its time to go Jesus is coming, I was so excited. But then he planted his feet firm and gently told me, no I am to go now but you will come later, I said to him, what are you talking about lets go, and again he said to me. No, I am to go now but you will come later, I didn’t understand why he was saying this but he said it with a smile on his face so I was then ok with what he was saying.
I was then standing among a crowd. And before us was what seemed a man and he had open this giant book, and in this book was every name written. As he called out a persons name they would walk past this man and enter a room behind him, and as I stood there with the masses of people, he called name after name, but I got impatient waiting for my name to be called so I went and walked past the man with the book which held all names being called and entered the room behind him.
I was then standing in what looked to be a library, the shelves in this library went higher than the eye could see, and books were stacked filling every bit of the shelves. I then again heard gods voice as deep rolls of thunder echoing through the library, when I heard god speaking, I ran through that library in search of him, but no matter where I ran I could not find him and it was like I was running through a maze. As I heard the voice of rolling thunder I was in fear because he was passing judgement over me, and I knew that he was judging for my eternal life whether I be with him or absent from him in eternity.
Then his voice fell silent. In that moment I dropped to my knees and I sobbed and wept and begged saying. Lord God please, if it must be that I give you my child that grows inside of me then take him, I will do anything you require of me, do not cast me from your presence, if must be I will give you this child in me. In that moment a great peace fell on me and gods words spoke clearly. I DO NOT HOLD THIS AGAINST YOU.
After I woke from this dream, it rather scared me but again I was unsure if it was myself that I had this dream because of my own guilt and disobedience to Jesus or if God himself gave me this dream. But I decided to start going back to church, and getting myself right with Jesus again.
3 months later after my son was born, I got a call from my ex and just as friends we hung out a few times, this one particular time I asked him to come to my church with me and my son, and he did andnit was a really great day to spend together. And although we were no longer in a relationship we were still very bonded by heart and cared deeply for each other.
That evening he stayed for a while and we watched a movie and I fell asleep. The next day I woke he had gone and I never contacted him regarding it as it was just nothing more than friends spending time together. A few weeks later, I received a message from him yet again, saying. I just want to let you know, I love you and I will always love you! When I got this message I thought it was a nice thing to say and it wasn’t said in a way that he wanted us to start dating again, he was simply just letting me know that to him I was precious. I never replied back to him as being a new single mum, the business of running after my son, I forgot to get back to him regarding that message.
2 weeks later after receiving this message, I was in my parents lounge room, and dad was in front of me answering the phone. I looked up at him and watched his face and I felt a sinking feeling inside of me. My dad turned and spoke to me that my ex had died in a car accident, and half way through my dad telling me the news. The pain was too much to bare that I dropped to the floor and collapsed sobbing and sobbing of heart ache. I then recalled the dream I had when I was pregnant, and standing before my ex at the bon fire and him saying to me. No, I am to go now but you will come later. In that moment of realisation, god had already shown me that this would come to pass, but also at that moment I felt a great anger rise in me, not because god had taken him from this life, but anger that it had been revealed to me before and if I had of realised or known what it meant, I could have spoken this to my ex.
So because of the pain and anger I felt, I again disobeyed Jesus, and left church and went out to follow the ways of the world, I spent years holding on to that pain and anger, I had made a mess of my life, having children with another man who I did not marry and who was not a Christian but the opposite he is an atheist. I found myself away from the grace of god, and got myself into a heap of debt through my life, and because my relationship with my children’s father was very emotionally abusive and he cheated many times, I sunk into depression and just needed to escape, I left my children’s father and married a man I met over seas, to which that did not last and while I was away for 3 months only for marriage purpose not to live when I returned the father of my children, would not allow me to see them, mediation was held, but no agreement was met except the kids live with him until I could get a court hearing, my lawyer never submitted my request that I signed for a court hearing and because time passed I could not get assistance to pay for lawyers to have my children, upon this there has been pain upon pain that I brought upon myself for not obeying Jesus and walking away from him and thinking I could do it on my own in the world.
I am now 36 years old, and have not gone to church since I was 19 and had that last dream from god. I went to visit my parents one weekend, and while I was there my mum brought up about the dreams I had and asked if I could write them down for her, I had never written my dreams down, and I told her that im not too comfortable writing that second dream because it was rather a fearful dream and had a lot of pain and suffering in it. But because I love my mum, I decided to would write them for her.
A few days later, I was sitting in my lounge room writing down my dreams, as I wrote my first dream I recalled every single detail even after all these years and every emotion I felt while I was in that dream. As I began to write my second dream down, every detail and every emotion I began to feel again as I wrote each part of that dream.
When I began to write as I walked down the corridor towards that woman in the room, that great sorrow and pain hit me in my spirit. God then showed me in that moment and spoke to me, the woman you see on the floor, who holds that baby, who is sobbing and weeping and in great pain, who begged you to take her child, to whom you knew could not enter in my kingdom! This is you at the time you rejected me and turned away from me. Then he showed me, me standing in the door way looking at the woman and said. And this is you at the time you were proud, assuming you had the right to over rule my judgement of whom I choose to enter my kingdom! Then he took me straight back to the library where I fell on my knees and begged and asked God to not cast me away even if it means you take my child, I would do anything for you! He spoke and said, this is yours at the very moment you repent to me, and therefore I forgave you for I DO NOT HOLD THIS AGAINST YOU.
In that very moment when god revealed this too me after 17 years, I dropped to the floor and sobbed and sobbed and repented to Jesus, from my heart. I gave it all to Jesus. And a great peace came over me from his forgiveness. After he showed me all this, I asked what was it that I repented, how is it that I repented fully this time but never could before? God then showed me that even though I always believed in Jesus and my heavenly father, I never fully understood what it was to Fear God, that healthy fear and understanding that ultimately he hold eternal life, it is Jesus who judges where man goes we cant even judge it upon ourselves, but have love and faith and belief in him.
Then god showed me that when I repented, I did not sorrow for myself, I did not feel sorrow for what I had done to myself, but I had sorrow because I saw the pain upon Jesus heart, the pain he carried because I hurt him so much, from rejecting him and doing all the things that are against him, I realised that it was his pain I felt because he loves me so much, then showed me my heart as a stone and he placed a chisel up to it, it then cracked open and all this gushing flood waters came rushing out, all the hate, anger, pain, sorrow, wickedness everything. Then he showed me his heart like a blossom that opened up and filled my heart with his love, mercy, grace, forgiveness and everything that is of him, and made my heart one with his.
Ever since Jesus touched my life, and changed my heart, I walk every minute of the day speaking with him and spending time with him, hes open my eyes to many things that is happening in this world, how time is getting short, he’s open my eyes to many churches that are breaking God’s heart, he open my eyes to all the ways that the adversary is making moves through the world, churches and government. There is so much he has been pouring into me which I give him all the glory for, I am so thankful to him, for reaching down and pulling me from that wicked life I led, and now having peace and a relationship with him…..
I pray that this testimony will find the person who Jesus is wanting to speak to, who may have lived a life similar, who who have wondered why cant I just stay in with God, why do I keep falling back to the ways of the world? In many ways I pray and believe God wants me to share this testimony because of a person who needs to hear it so they can come back into the grace of Jesus and have a relationship with him again..
Time is at hand and I hope all are trimming their lamps and getting ready in their hearts before Jesus in these days and hours, time is getting short, please get your hearts right before Jesus.