When I thought 2020 was a dark year, and I had already had a few rough ones prior, I had no idea how much worse 2021 would be. Alcohol. They call it the devil in the bottle, and I have to agree. My wife and I had been married 15 years and most of the time we were happy even though financial problems kept intruding. Neither of us were big on worship but we both did believe. It just was not close to a priority.
Alcohol. It always came back. I was a mentally abusive person when I drank… Though not in a typical sense. I didn’t yell at people generally or curse or tease. No, I was just extremely annoying listening to dark evil music and singing along all hours not letting my wife sleep, wandering outside naked, falling and breaking things were my typical nights. This whole problem was on and off in our marriage but before 2019 I had been sober nearly ten years.
Stress and problems communicating and jealousy reared their head in 2019 and I found myself drinking again. I wrecked her car. She left the first time after that. She came back in the middle of 2020 and I stayed sober. Soon after moving it became evident that she didn’t view me the same anymore and she started going on trips with her friends a lot. When she went I’d drink out of boredom and loneliness.
Finally she found that I had been doing that and it was her last straw. She left for good and I hit the bottle harder than I ever had. I would drink two fifths of vodka and not eat for days and was very close to asking to be committed when one day my mother and I went for a walk around a local lake. We stopped to rest and three wonderful ladies came over and asked how we were. After some chat they said they were with a local church and asked if we had been saved.
Now… I had been when I was in my teens, but I knew in my heart that when I had said it before it was just to fit in with my friends. So, I agreed then and there to be saved and felt the power of Jesus in my heart for the first time. Soon after I was able to quit drinking cold turkey and have cleaned up my life. I am even moving up in my career after 20 years of stagnation.
If you are out there reading this and haven’t accepted Jesus as your lord and savior, then trust me. With him bad things can still happen but you are never alone. All that hurt is wasted away by his grace and glory and you will have a friend who always answers. Praise GOD.
Below are some lyrics, a rough draft of a song I wrote in his honor.
I was sitting all alone…
In a quiet and dark room…
Felt your grace…
Come along
And I thought what can I do?Then it came…
Like the flood…
With no shame…
And I knew…
Gotta throw my hands up
And worship YOU!All I wanna do is throw my hands up
Shout praise to your name lord!
All I wanna do is sing loud
Your heavenly name lord!
x2Jesus our faith…
All we have…
It’s for you…Saving grace that you give…
Priceless gift given me…
Given us..
Given time…
Help them see that…
All that they…
Gotta do is…Throw their hands up
And Shout praise to your name lord
All they gotta doooooo
Is sing out loud your heavenly name lord
x2Oohhhhh heavenly lord
Ohhh whoa whoa
Thank you, Jesus.
