Born premature and in an incubator for months, my parents were told I wouldn’t survive. Starting out without the physical contact I needed and growing up with a father who struggled with anger, I withdrew my heart from everyone. Trying to fill my void for intimacy, I turned to sex and filling my life with possessions but discovered they couldn’t satisfy my longing to be truly loved. Focusing on getting over my passions just made me lust even more.
It was around this time that a cousin began to share how a person can have a personal relationship with Jesus. This piqued my interest as someone who went to church, but never heard that Christ was so personal. After realizing my life was spiraling out of control and none of my relationships had the depth I craved, I surrendered my heart to Christ and asked Him to fix my broken life and save me from my many sins.
As I shared everything with Jesus and followed after Him, He began to transform me from an angry, shallow, lustful young man into a compassionate and loving person who pursues relationships that are honest, real, and transparent. Later I reconciled with my earthly dad and enjoyed a loving friendship I never thought possible.
Since high school, I’ve made it a priority to exercise to minimize anxiety and be physically fit. Even so, in 2015 I came face-to-face with a Brain Stem meningioma. Before surgery I was placed on steroids which caused me to get an hour-and-a-half of sleep every night for a couple of months. My body and mind crashed, and I was physically rung out.
I started getting infections which kept pushing out my surgery date, leading to 3 months in hospital beds with a catheter. My muscle mass deteriorated to the point that I had to call a nurse in order to shift my body in bed. As I was finally getting wheeled back for surgery and noticing my breathing getting shallow, I wasn’t sure I was going to make it.
Jesus spoke to me and said,
“I’ve got you, Tim”.
After a 7-hour surgery I woke up a day later with the news I had multiple DVTs. Doctors decided to take me off of steroids quickly which tanked my adrenal glands. When the Physical Therapist told me it was time to get started with PT so I could get good enough with a Walker to go home. I looked at them as if they were crazy. I had nothing to give.
The doctors called my wife and told her I was giving up. When she came and pushed me, I became angry, but it was a little bit of anger that I needed to move forward. Every day I asked God for the strength to endure that day. Today, after grueling PT and long radiation treatment to kill what’s left of the tumor, doctors look at me today and consider me a walking miracle. There are no words to describe how difficult this journey was; however, God was so faithful and near.
