I was depressed, suicidal, and numb.
At the same time, I was pretending to be happy, hiding behind a smile, and suffocating on the inside. I was in a yearlong toxic relationship, and I didn’t have the faith to continue working on it, so I broke up with her. A decision I sometimes regret and am unsure was the right thing to do.
However, after I broke up with her the greatest thing in my entire life happened. I watched “Here I Am // Here is Holy: Part 1 series by Michael Todd”. After watching this sermon, I gave my life to Jesus and went from a believer to a disciple. I slowly went from questioning whether there was a God, to trusting my life to God. I have sheer, utter faith that no matter what happens I will be okay. I am happy. I am at peace. I am no longer bound by this world’s views. I am solely and completely focused on serving my God.
That sermon was where my journey started. 7 months into my journey I can’t go a day, or even hour without talking about The Lord, My God. I am in love beyond compare. Grateful more than Israelites set free from slavery. Excited more than David becoming king. And obsessed more than anyone that has walked this earth. I know that my loving God will never forsake me, and even if he did, for him, I would become a stalker, creeping just to see his face, just to hear his voice, just to breathe the air that touches his body.
I came to this app only to see others’ testimonies and know more about what God is doing. He is more than intriguing or enticing. He is my will to live. I will become a weirdo or look crazy if it means I get to be in God’s presence more. I will bring heaven to earth just to be closer to him. And I will never disobey my loving God.
I will not bow down to anyone, except God. For God, I will fully prostrate my body before him, so he knows that he is the one who I give my life to. I will never dare treat a man with the same treatment I do God. Even if he tried to get away, I will never let my God go. Without him I am worthless. With him I am already everything I ever want to be.
I can’t wait to die and see him. I cannot wait to have him judge me. I look forward to death with a smile. But until that day I will continue bringing heaven to earth.