I see all these people sharing testimonies all around me and I envy them. In my personal life I have to be honest and say I see nothing but labour, toil and hardship. I have prayed. I have begged. I have cried heart wrenching cries. I have fasted. And I am tired. This is too much. It is not working for me.
What if God doesn’t deem me worthy? What if He doesn’t care, doesn’t have time? I am weary and at the end of my tither. Wait on Him you say, wait on His time, till when in this lifetime?
I am angry with God right now and I honestly do not see, feel, or hear Him. Look at the birds you say, look at the sky, the fields, what about them is what a say. I need proof honestly that God exists and that He loves and hears me, and I should not fear asking Him to show Himself and prove Himself.
It’s a lie that God doesn’t love you because He loves every single one of his creations let alone his children. It happens to me also, when I haven’t been spending time with Him or I’m in distraction that I won’t hear or feel His presence. But the more I spend time with him and truly open my heart to Him. I feel and hear him again, and the truth is that He never leaves us but the Holy Spirit is just sadden. But most importantly, without FAITH there’s nothing. After you have faith, then God starts revealing Himself more and more… Faith is fundamental in this walk. BELIEVE that he loves unconditionally and knows you, BELIEVE that he speaks to you everyday & whenever you seek him, BELIEVE that he died on the cross for you! We aren’t saved based on works but our hearts. This is my personel opinion but here’s a sermon I’ve watched.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7gk4KOMOUm4&index=30&list=PLac0FWqrbmb3Rp-DonBj3KJaB0ESeZqVI
I love you and will keep you in my prayers!
God bless
Thank you so much
Hi there,
I know how it feels exactly! I was right where you at this moment. And people gave me verses , I would listen to them and feel good for sometime and then again go back to crying and wailing and then asking God why me? Why this pain again? You know what.. I couldn’t feel him anymore.. but the reason is not because he is not present.. or is unaware of your circumstances and pain.. he knows where you are and will come for you if only you ask forgiveness for your bitterness and resentment and allow him to work in your heart. I won’t give up and verse but I am sharing my testimony with you.. Every night I cried I the Lord for months.. But deliverance came when I asked Lord to show me where I am wrong.. God is God.. he is not wrong it’s us. In our relationship with God we are like that prodigal son.. who went away but father never removed his love for his son.
Devil lies to us and plays with our mind.. he can’t touch our soul but he can touch our mind.. that’s our battlefield!!! Kneel before him and ask for forgiveness .. the reason you wrote this is because you are seeking him.. And we all know ‘seek and you will find it!’
God’s word is true and will never come back empty!
Blessings
M
Thank you so much
Hello there
God surely exists at least I can say that because I so believe in it. The questions you are asking are real and thats okay. I have partly been there, wondering why God keeps working in other people’s lives and not mine. Its a long story.
One thing I realized about all this ‘wanting to make God come alive in our lives’ is that to release yourself fully to Him is the best way to start. Tell Him everything including how you feel and how you oh so much want Him to reveal Himself to you. Tell Him how bitter you are and how close you are to despair. Trust me it pays off. I have quite some experiences to share about the same but I ll leave it at that.
I ll keep you in my prayers.
With Love
Fred
When many people come out with good testimony, it seems God is taking care of you all, might be because of you worthy. But is different from me. I was trying to live worthy to God, serving God with my best since I repented at the end of 2007. I served God with all my heart and strength. There were times I gave God more that I can’t effort. My passion was on single parent.
But 2010 my husband left me for another woman while I was pregnant of my youngest boy five months. With my eyes I saw my husband with the other woman in the hotel room. End of 2010 he divorced me. For all information, reading Bible day and night, praying, fasting and meditating words from Bible was taking most of my time. I can’t explain the pain, suffering and shame I was facing. I quoted and jotted down many Bible words that might strengthen me. One day when I was praying and crying suddenly I heard a voice “look at your family name.”
Suddenly I understood what to look at, which was our first character of our name. My ex-husband’s name start with j, my twin girls name’s start with M, my name start with P and my boy name (who still in my womb) start with S. Immediately I understood the first character of our name separate by two characters to each other. And the voice said “look! Your husband is in your life”.
People said the voice we hear does not necessarily come from God unless it’s confirmed by Bible Words. Yes. Few weeks after that, I had Bible Study with our church leaders, that time we asked to read Matthew chapter 1. And asked us to find out what God wants to speak to us with it.
Suddenly when I read from Abraham to David 14 generation, from David to deportation to Babylon 14 generation, and from deportation to Babylon to Christ 14 generation. Then I heard other voice “see whatever in God planned is well order”.
I started to trust God more. Many other words that seem to speak and promise me and I jot it down in my diary. Buy until now… none of it true. For all information, I’m not dare to read or hear words from Bible anymore because….up to now, not even one of it happen. So who spoke to me at that time? If devil, where is God? I read Bible day and night, why is God not speaking to me? If it’s is God… Well I’m 40 plus already, when is all his promise happen. Not only that I did asked from God an husband if my ex husband not return to me.
Well again Bible capture my eyes to Ruth. Seem God is going to give me Boas. But well …no new, no sign. Made me more scary ready and trusting Bible. You know what my suffering is? 2014 my village was burn and we have to rebuild a new house. Together with my workers I constructed my house there. Same time I have to look after Oils Palm plantation at my small farm. And I’m civil servants of my country, a mom to twins girls and a boys. Same time look after my 82 years old mum. All tasks and responsibilities done by myself alone. Tell me how can I trust God with this multiple burden and seem God not answering any of my prayers. And God allows suffering, pain and tears conquering me?
Hi There Pula,
I want to tell you that human made promise may or may not come true but God’s promises will always come true. I am lead to share this with you.. Moses was God’s promise to his own people.. God had seen him already and knew he will be the one who would lead the entire nation out of slavery. Moses as a young man tried and we all know what happened. It took 40 years for God to mould Moses and make him what he wants him to be. Read about Abraham and Sarah.. God has promised Abraham a child .. when they thought about ways and how it should happen.. and complicated things by bringing Hagar .. God asked te child born out of flesh and chose the promised child Issac as his heir! Sarah was way beyond her age and yet conceived.. not because she was special but because it was God’s promised. We serve same God.. he was faithful in past he he is still faithful and dear he will be faithful in future. Kneel down and surrender to him and don’t read words to get any promise or don’t look for answers just look for him and his love, answers shall
Come to you!
God bless you!
M
Have you read Judges 6? Gideon asked God to prove that He would be with him. “O my lord, if the LORD is with us, why then has all this happened to us? And where are all His miracles which our fathers told us about, saying, ‘Did not the LORD bring us up from Egypt?’ But now the LORD has abandoned us and given us into the hand of Midian.” Judges 6:13 Gideon was hurt that God had supposedly abandoned Israel at their time of need. God commanded him to save Israel from their enemies but Gideon said that God should prove that He will do what He said He will do by performing a miracle. Gideon then laid a fleece of wool on the ground and said that if God could make dew fall on the wool but not anywhere on the ground, meaning that the wool would be the only thing wet–the ground has to be completely dry–then Gideon will know that God will fulfill His promise. That’s exactly what God did.
I used to be in the same situation as you. I thought that God didn’t care about me and that he wasn’t with me. I saw everyone around me succeeding and being blessed and I kept asking God “what am I doing wrong? Why don’t you answer any of my prayers?” I was really angry at Him because nothing in my life was going right. I didn’t feel like praying or fasting or even reading the Bible because I thought there was no point since God didn’t care about me.
But all those negative things you’re feeling about how you think God feels about you are thoughts from the devil. The devil hates when people trust God and worship Him, so when things go wrong, the devil starts pushing those thoughts that God doesn’t care about you and He’ll never pull you out of your troubles.
You have to remember and remind yourself that God does love and care for you. If He didn’t, He wouldn’t have sent His son to the cross to die for your sins and mine. None of us are “worthy” of His love. We have all sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, according to Romans 3:23.
I failed my test to get into a school I’ve always wanted to go to, while everyone else got in. I had prayed to God and trusted him with all my heart, yet I still failed and got a 54%. I was so angry for such a long time because I thought God answered prayers if you believed. Everyone was shocked that I did so poorly. I didn’t place in a competition everyone was expecting me to, there were personal problems that I had to go through and I’ve never felt so alone in my life. I was tired of my mom reminding me that things would happen in His time. I was tired of being patient to hear answered prayers. I doubted they’d be answered anyway.
These problems lasted for a year and a half. I went to a school I thought I’d never like, while my old friends were together in their dream schools. I avoided God and the Bible because I was holding a grudge. I thought that God had a plan for me, but I thought God had made a mistake by putting me in this school. I worked hard on many things and many times it didn’t give me a positive result. I was so hurt and frustrated from everything that was happening that I locked myself up in my room for days and secluded myself from my family. I yelled at God and asked Him why He hated me so much, why things never go well, why my life has turned out so bad. Then, things started looking up at time went on. I forced myself to push aside all the memories of unanswered prayers, all the times I felt that God had let me down once again, all the doubts in my head that He didn’t care for me. I realized that those grudges wouldn’t get me anywhere. It wouldn’t make God happy, and it wouldn’t make me happy either. All it did was weaken my faith. I continuously reminded myself that God did care for me by reminiscing on the times God did answer my prayers. I read stories about times where people went through a lot of pain and disappointment for years before they eventually succeeded, because they never gave up and they never quit trusting God. Remember Job from the Bible. He had everything–a good family, lots of land, money, riches, a reputation, health etc, Then, in a test to see his faithfulness God allowed the devil to literally take everything away from him, except his life. He lost his children, many of his servants, stricken with a painful disease, and friends that accused him of bringing all of this upon himself. Job didn’t go through pain because he sinned, or because God didn’t care for him, it was because God had something in store for him, just like He has for you. Even his wife told him to curse God and die, but he didn’t get angry at God or refuse to give up praying. He even praised God. “And said, Naked came I out of my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return thither: the LORD gave, and the LORD hath taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD.” Job 1:21
Though it is not known how long he suffered, we do know it was at least for a few months because it’s said in Job 7:3.
Because of Job’s faithfulness and patience, God blessed him with more children and things and land than he had before. Just because you’re going through pain now, doesn’t mean you’ll be in that pain forever.
I got a perfect score on a math exam and got a near-perfect score on the reading one, which made me eligible to apply to this top-ranked school in my area. The school I attended had teachers that were ready to help me when they saw how hard-working I was. I got a perfect score on the exam and I got into the school I wanted to go to, getting the highest score overall in my whole grade. I didn’t expect that because there were several questions I guessed on. I won 1st place in an event in Science Olympiad, though I rushed and guessed many problems on the test and freaked out.
God always has the time for your needs, but you have to trust that He knows when the best time is. Proof that God exists? The proof is that you’re here right now, still alive, conscious and breathing. If God didn’t care for you, He wouldn’t protect you. If only we could see our lives through God’s eyes, we’d know that we’re more important to Him than anything, and He wants nothing but the best for you. He knows you more than you know yourself. He planned out your life before you even came into your mother’s womb. He had already mapped out your life–when it will start, and when it will end. The one thing the devil wants is your soul. When you stop believing in God the devil is winning because he wants you to live your life in misery. Read a few Bible verses everyday, remind God about His promises. No matter how big or small your problems are, God already has it figured out. Trust him.
To God be the glory!!
Psalm 27:13-14: “I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.”
Jeremiah 29:11-13: “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.’”
Life on earth is indeed full of challenges, hardships and toils. Every person experiences these things. But we should make this as reasons to trust in Him more and more. He is faithful to his promises. The fact that we and our families are able to see a brand new day every morning, that we are safe, that we are still breathing, that amidst all these trials that we are facing we are still still fighting, is enough to thank Him and give Him praise. Continue to seek Him and he will not disappoint us. The Bible says in Romans 8:28, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”