When Jesus Came In

My name is Kat, and I am 35 from Scotland. I have recently become a Christian. I grew up in the Catholic Church, but I wasn’t interested and paid no attention to anything. I had a troubled childhood, an abnormal upbringing with abuse and being exposed to things I shouldn’t have been at a young age. It was very complicated and eventually at the age of 10 I ran away from home. My aunt kindly took me in, and I was then raised by her. However the effects of my childhood were very much an influence on me, and I was suffering mentally and emotionally still and would for many years to come.

Growing into a teenager was extremely tough as I was bullied and struggling with homosexual feelings and mental health issues which weren’t properly diagnosed at the time. I basically wanted to commit suicide every single day but fear I guess, held me back, fear of pain. I couldn’t stand pain but yet I felt emotional pain every single day. I felt so alone and struggled every day, with feeling people as well not understanding just how bad I felt inside.

I committed all sort of sins in my life, I drank copious amounts of alcohol and took many drugs, not caring if I lived or died. I was always looking for a high or a thrill because I felt so depressed and damaged in everyday life. It was also what people were doing roundabout me, so it felt normal. I never realised just how damaging it all was; I was fairly oblivious to the harm I was doing to myself.

I entered into homosexual relationships and adulterous relationships. I fornicated. I was trying to contact the dead by using psychics and basically new age demonic practices which I thought weren’t bad. I was completely deceived.

I went through life up until I was saved, completely broken and losing more of my humanity and feelings each day, and I wonder if I had gotten much further down the dark hole I was in, I might have never gotten out of it.

To me I was the worst of the worst, and not aware of my emotional need to be loved in amongst all this turmoil. That’s when Jesus came in. It started as a colleague inviting me to church one day. I was resistant and felt highly uncomfortable while I was there, and because of vulnerabilities within me I didn’t go back.

Then fast forward another few years after he had sent robins to catch my attention (Jesus’ way of communicating with me), I did get asked by another colleague, and this time I went and ended up giving my life to Jesus. It wasn’t an easy process for me. Once I realised he was reaching out to me to tell me he died for me, I was so emotionally caught on that as I felt so unloved and broken, and he caught me just as I would have fallen further into the abyss and perhaps never made it out.

Jesus has saved my life, and I would die for him easily. He has opened my eyes to many things and it’s certainly a process by which he is helping me in his timing which is perfect. I know he is the only way for us to be healed, to be saved, to be truly alive because I have been through everything and was at rock bottom and dead inside and I’m telling you he is the way the truth and the life. He is the ONLY way. There is no other way; I spent years of my life trying to find another way and I nearly never made it through.

Now I don’t feel alone. Now I know I can cope with anything because he is my strength, he is everything to me and without him I am nothing. He will never leave us or forsake us, and he is the only way to eternal life. He will meet you wherever you are in life and love you and change you, believe me. Jesus is everything xxx