Throughout my whole life of 28 years I had been in much distress, I have been hurt by so many people, I have been pushed to and beyond the boundaries where I have become so isolated that I have trouble having any human interaction, having friends, not being able to trust anyone, not experiencing love and not being respected that it felt as if I did not belong here anymore.
It was never ending those who were supposed to be there and to support me neglected me, neglected my pain, my suffering. Their pride was more important over my pain. In school the bullying was never ending, the beatings, the teasing, the pure hatred for me for who I am and what I stood for was a threat, a target, something they didn’t like and felt it was easy and gave them great power to tear me apart
Because I was brought up in the Christian faith, the one thing that I didn’t need to be taught about being a Christian was to forgive just as Jesus did. That is something that I alone held up high above me and made it known to everyone.
Countless of times over the 8 years of Primary and Secondary school the same group of people had me in their sights each day of each month of each year but because my faith was and is always strong in believing in Jesus and to follow in his footsteps, forgiveness was something I did to all those who hurt me. Doing this sets me free from anger, hatred, bitterness and revenge towards those who hurt me.
Because of these terrible experiences I had for the 8 years of being in school, my faith in Jesus, my faith in forgiveness has shown me and made me understand the sacrifice Jesus made for our sins. It has also shown me how strong I am with the help of Jesus that I can defeat my enemies and Satan without physical action or cursing words.
Since school, my life had changed, I no longer had any friends, I couldn’t turn to anyone anymore to trust, and I had to make it on my own with Jesus leading me the way. I chose a path without putting the people on this earth as a priority, as something I need. My grades were ruined, but I decided to dedicate my whole life from 18 years old until now to work hard and to never give up, pushing myself beyond what people assumed I was capable of and that wasn’t much.
You see Satan has been circling my life, trying to find my weak points and to exploit them to do anything in his power that is limited by GOD, to lure me and to cause me to stumble and to sin.
The reason for this was because he knew my LOVE my sacrifice and my complete faith that I have in Jesus although I didn’t fully know this at the time but he knew that I would become, a solider for GOD. He saw me as a bigger threat and a bigger prize if he could turn me from GOD.
After I left school and didn’t pass any of my exams except one. I decided that I will not be defeated that I will work hard to make it back to the top. I went to college and spent 3 years in all and I got the highest grades in the classes.
I went onto university and achieved a degree but Satan’s attack was focused in the family; he worked hard to cause my mom and dad to argue to shout to fight. My dad became selfish and thought only of himself and not of his children, I was the one who ended up being hurt the most since my sister had my mother and I never had my dad to take me out and do things like father and sons do.
My sister moved out to live with her boyfriend who is now her husband. For me I was still at home still working hard on my career before I eventually moved out. Satan saw that as a great opportunity to use my parents to curse and talk badly about each other to me.
The terrible and awful breakdown of our family is something none of us ever want to go through again. He was behind the scenes making sure that we were more focused on causing so much pain and suffering towards each other. While Satan was busy destroying our lovely family, he went back to me because he knew how isolated I was already due to my past with not having any friends who were not loyal and abused my trust in every way.
Not to mention how hurt and in pain I was with what was going on between my mom and dad. He preyed on my weakness and exploited it to the maximum, which would lead me to doing something wrong. The guilt that was left upon me ate through my soul. I heard his voice laughing at me for days on end.
I felt lost, without GOD, I had no hope left and I knew that I allowed myself to be fooled into doing something I knew was wrong in my heart but I wasn’t strong enough to realise it. He knew that his mission was to turn one of God’s faithful children against him and he almost completed that task. He spoke in my head each time I tried to go back to church and made every effort to make me rebel against GOD.
He fed me lies and used the pain and guilt I was in as if it was God’s fault. This was the most important decision of my entire life, but I realised that this is a LIFE AND DEATH situation. He said to me;
“Richard you don’t belong here, you did a terrible thing, it’s time to move on and leave the church, and there is nothing you can do now.”
“God made you feel guilty it is his fault!”
At first he made me believe it and almost got me agreeing with him but then I realised that I knew this isn’t what I believe.
I then said;
“NO!! I AM TO BLAME, IT IS MY FAULT! I will not blame GOD for making me feel guilty because I was the one who did this act. I will continue to go to Church, I will bear this burden for the rest of my life even if GOD sends me to hell I will never blame Him, and I will never hate Him!”
That was a life changing moment for me where I chose to stand with GOD and to deny Satan. That I know fuelled his fury so much that he knew my faith alone wasn’t able to be broken even at the point of almost denying GOD. He stayed very close and deep within my soul, waiting for other ways to get me to sin against GOD if it wasn’t directly it would be in other ways.
After the separation of my parents the time came for me when I got my dream job in Edinburgh. I had to move out there and now I’ve been living here for over 4 years. Before I met Anne and had the vision of Hell, GOD needed me to confront my parents he wanted me to forgive them to make peace with my dad and my mom for what has happened over the 3 to 4 years of the breakdown of the family.
Satan had one more go at me, and that was to bring my mom and dad together but in the process, he made sure that my mom and dad would neglect their children’s suffering. What happened was the most direct assault to me that ever happened in my life. I decided to stand up to my dad for his treatment towards my mom and to us, his children.
I took a few days off work to fly back to London to stay with my sister. I was so busy and had lots of deadlines to meet but I felt it was something I needed to do. I decided to confront my mom at her flat and said that I want to speak to dad on the phone. I gave him such a telling off for what he has done to me, my sister and my mom.
The most hurtful thing that I could ever hear from my own father was;
“I don’t care if you’re depressed and how you feel about me and mom but we are getting back together! You’re so selfish it’s always about you, you all the time!”
“Whether you or your sister, like it or not, me and your mom are back together, you have to accept it, so tough luck!”
As you can see Satan had done his homework, he knew my weak points he knew that my parents were the only people left who were close to me and that as children you depend on and rely on them when the world is against you. But he turned them against me. Over time GOD Spoke to me and said it is time to let go, I started to feel inside of myself that this anger, bitterness, and hatred towards my parents for what they done was eating me up slowly and that I had to let it go.
When I met up with both of them, we put the situation aside us. God then decided the time was right to reveal the truth to me. He had chosen me to see the truth with my own eyes and to also bring me face to face with the Devil who has been so destructive in trying to destroy my life. Because my faith is so strong and because I follow Jesus’ teaching in my actions he felt that I was ready to know the truth.
Just before I met my mom’s friend, Anne who worked at the college with my mom who is a pastor, I had a disturbing vision the night before.
I woke up at 7 am on Saturday 3rd April 2010; I couldn’t get back to sleep. So I got up for a while and then I headed back to bed. It took me a while to sleep, but when I did, I had a dream that I was in the middle of space and was I was taken across the universe at lightning speed.
I did not have any control of where I could go; I just was pulled across space as if something was taking me somewhere. I was in awe, shock and amazement with the scale and size of the universe and how beautiful it looked. I felt so small as if I was a tiny spec of light in a vast black open space.
The stars shone brightly the galaxies came upon me so fast, it was truly breathtaking. The galaxy that I was near had a golden bright sun in the middle. The stars and clusters were in a ring like shape orbiting around the giant sun in the middle. Huge clutters of asteroids were flying around me.
I started to speak out aloud describing what I could see as if I was trying to tell the people at home, back on earth what I could see. A huge asteroid came into view. It slowly drifted across but then as the asteroid moved way it revealed a planet which I had never seen before.
The planet was black and had a rusty surface, but the closer I got to it I could see the surface was hot and on fire. I was heading straight towards it. I knew what it was, I knew where I was heading but I didn’t tell myself this. But thinking to myself why, why am I going there!
As I got closer I saw huge lava rock mounts like volcanoes poking out of the planets crust. Standing on top of them were people (humans) men and women but they appeared as black figures. They were burning and set on fire. I came closer to the ground there was this vast black lake as far as the eye could see.
Pockets of black lava rock islands were scattered around this black lake. Then I looked up into the sky and I saw, which looked at first like bats, but they were huge black winged demons. They were flying in the distance towards me.
They were all set ablaze, the fire from their bodies lit up the black sky in red. I then started to hear and see people fall with me to this place. They were all screaming, shouting groaning in pain and agony. I have never heard anything so terrible in my life that I can still hear the cries and screams in my head right now.
The moment my feet touched the ground, I was on one of the black rock islands. I stood there and said to myself, “No matter what, I LOVE GOD and I will fight my way out of this”. Scorpions and huge lava worms were coming from the ground. The scorpions were stinging at my feet, and my legs but I couldn’t feel any pain.
The lava worms were coming up from underground attacking the people all around me although I couldn’t see them. One of the lava worms came at me; I tried to kill it but had no weapons of any kind. I grabbed it with both hands. It was so big that I couldn’t keep it from attacking me. Its mouth opened and a smaller mouth came out which aimed towards my chest.
I woke up and sat at the edge of my bed, it took a few minutes for the vision that I saw to sink in before I knew that I was shown hell. I wasn’t sent there to be punished, I wasn’t in pain, I knew that when my feet touched the ground that God sent me here to show me that this is real and that I needed to tell everyone what I saw.
What I’m about to tell you now was the most frightening experience I have ever had. I always knew somehow that when I defeated the devil a few years back for making me turn against God because I committed a sin. He mocked and laughed at me for making me do something I knew was wrong. He almost succeeds in making me blame God for the guilt I had but I turned and said;
“NO!! It was my fault! I am to blame not GOD you will not make me turn my back on him!”
Since then I freed myself I turned away from Satan I stood in the presence of GOD but Satan wasn’t ready to give up on me. He was trying to work hard to destroy me in some other way by using certain people in my church to criticize and to humiliate me which made me feel the church let me down which drew me away from ever going back.
The pastor Anne took me out that night to Nandos for a light meal to discuss my life, to get to know me, to talk about God and everything that lead up this point. I told her about the dream, she said;
“Richard it is not a dream do not believe what others say that you dreamt it and it isn’t real! It’s a revelation!!!
God loves you; he is so pleased with you that he chose you to share your vision of Hell so others can see that it does exist!!”
Later that night she had one thing in mind left to do for me and that was to reveal me to Jesus! I repeated the words and I had to confess with my own mouth and soul that I believe in Jesus and that God gave up his only Son to die for us.
While repeating the words, I felt a strong heat; a presence that I knew wasn’t good it was evil. It tried to make me laugh at Anne, it tried to disrupt us. It used great force that it made grin and smile at Anne. I almost felt I had no control of what was happening and I knew that whatever it was, wanted to laugh at her, to mock her. I used my hands to apply pressure to my face so that I could gain control and carryon repeating the words. Anne knew what was going on she knew what she was doing.
By confessing with my mouth heart and soul that I believe in Jesus, it was torturing Satan, he couldn’t bare the words and took over my body but I still could hear and feel the burning and heat inside of me.
Through me, Satan was screaming in pain and shouted at the pastor Anne, “DAMM YOU!!… DAMM YOU…LEAVE ME ALONE! LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!”
Satan was almost defeated he wanted to fight so hard to keep a hold of me so that I couldn’t confess that the Lord Jesus is Lord and that I believe in him. But Anne made sure that I would complete the final words.
“Richard!! Finish it!!”
I had enough strength and finished it and suddenly felt a huge force leave my body; I was out of breath, exhausted as if two powerful forces were pulling my soul. Anne screaming in joy said;
“RICHARD! Praise be to God! He is gone, you are with Jesus, and you are saved!! Satan is defeated!! His no more! Your name is now in the Book of Life!”
Easter Day, I went to the ECM – Europe for Christ Mission. Every Sunday they ask the people in the congregation if they have a story to tell, any experiences to share. I was asked by the pastor Anne to share and tell the people of my revelation, my vision of what God showed me.
I put my hand up and decided to stand up and speak to the people of what I saw. They all thanked me and said a prayer for me; they are so caring and made me so welcome to their community.
They applauded me for telling my vision that I had of Hell. I felt like God planned this for me to tell his people out in the world and I have done and will continue to do so.
This is the most solid proof evidence that I have ever seen and experienced that shows me that Satan exists. He has been the enforcer of tearing my life apart, he was the one who tore my family apart and that he also pushed me to the point where I couldn’t do my job anymore and almost wanted to quit. I was suffering so much from what was going on with my family that I thought that I was not able to deal with this anymore.
Every terrible event was again Satan trying to destroy my life. The moment that I felt the evil force leave my body not only was I absolutely exhausted, but the days following made my soul become free, I never felt so alive, so full of love, happiness and joy which was so exhilarating. I felt as if the billions of stars and galaxies in the universe were bursting in my soul!
The moment I defeated Satan and he was no longer in my soul was the day I realised how destructive he was, because my work picked up so quickly, I was given more tasks to do, my work was praised constantly from so many of my workers. Time and time again I was myself, I was reborn in Jesus and that my life was in God’s hands. Before this moment, I cannot express how depressing and stressful it was trying to do my job.
Now it just shows that all the counselling and support from my friends didn’t help at all. There was no way they could help because the problem lied with Satan. This needed to be done with the help of Jesus and GOD alone. Only they can defeat the devil. Since then I am so happy.
I expressed countless of times how thankful and in awe I am of Jesus freeing me and showing me the truth. It was my job to make sure that I tell everyone of my experience. I never felt so committed to working for GOD and telling everyone about what happened to me.
God showed me a vision of Hell and this was so that my old self was crucified with the blood of Jesus so that the body of sin might be done away with. I was no longer a slave to sin.
I was renewed in the spirit of my mind, and put on the new self, which in the likeness of God has been created in righteousness and holiness of the truth.