I was a very insecure child. I was constantly seeking my parents’ approval, thinking that they never even noticed me. At a young age I believed the lie that I was not pretty enough to fit in. I was always being made fun of in elementary through high school. In junior high I broke my knee causing me to have surgery and be homeschooled. I felt all alone and had a feeling no one cared about me, so I turned to food for comfort.
In high school I was overweight and miserable. I was continuously being made fun of so I decided I would make changes in my life, unfortunately not healthy ones. This is where the anorexia and bulimia began. I wanted to fit into what I thought were the “popular girls” and I just wanted to fit in. This became a complete idol in my life. It is all I thought and cared about, nothing else mattered to me. I lost a lot of weight physically but mentally I still believed the lie that I needed to be thinner.
To numb the pain, I felt and to try to fit in I started smoking week and partying all the time. I started doing badly academically and the pain I felt was getting worse, so I started smoking daily, drinking all the time, became promiscuous and started to take pain killers to make it all go away. I thought I needed them to live. These things absolutely controlled my life. Everyone could tell how sick I was getting so I went into a program but after seeing a lot of people relapse, I told myself it wouldn’t work for me.
So, I faked it and was eventually released. I went back to the same old lifestyle except now the pain killers became an everyday thing and I started stealing from my family, parents, friends and stores. I would do absolutely anything to support my next fix. I broke up with a boyfriend at the time and that is when I came to a point where I didn’t want to live anymore. I attempted suicide but luckily it didnt work. I was finally realizing how sick I was getting when I looked at pictures of myself one day. I looked like a complete skeleton, all I saw was skin and bones. I finally broke down and told my parents I needed help.
We didn’t know what to do because we couldnt afford any place. But one day we heard about a program called Mercy Ministries and this place absolutely changed my life. I was completely transformed. I realized that my past I was once so ashamed of had already been completely forgiven by God. He had a plan for me before I was ever born, and I can actually see that now. All of my past that I went through happened for a reason. And I can tell how God was with me in those bad times.
I can finally say that I am beautiful and actually believe it. I know that destiny is bigger than my mistakes, my past does not define who I am, and I know that God’s promises are true. I am completely forgiven; I am pure, accepted and beautiful. I know God has a huge calling on my life. I am not the same person I was 6 months ago.
Brittany,
God Bless you and may he continue to keep you in all your ways. You are destined for greatness and I pray you will be an inspiration to many others. God Bless you.
God bless you dear…
Such a living testimony. Praise Lord Almighty.
Be strong in faith. Jesus be with you each step.
Inspiring testimony honey. God indeed has wonderful plans for you- talents, blessings, gifts & triumphs are already in place for you! I’m so thankful to our Father for you. You ARE beautiful, simply because you are His child.
Keep the faith and stay blessed! The glory is His forever <3