So, this is a story about me and this boy.
Earlier this year, my brother passed away in February, and about a month later, a co-worker invited me to a game night. That’s when I met his best friend—he was trying to set us up. We talked for about two weeks, but he told me he had just gotten out of a relationship and wasn’t in a place to date yet.
Fast forward to May: we started talking again, and at another game night, we decided to give it a chance. Our relationship quickly became very intense. In just three months, I spent almost three weeks visiting his family and getting to know them.
But things moved fast. Two weeks in, he was already talking about marrying me when he returned from a two-year mission trip abroad. I wasn’t healed from past hurts, and I let my insecurities show. I often said things like “let’s break up” or that he didn’t want to be with me, even when I didn’t truly mean it. Looking back, I realize I wasn’t honoring God in the relationship, and my unhealed areas led me to act in ways that weren’t healthy.
By the third month, after spending a weekend at his family reunion, I pushed too hard and said things I didn’t mean, and he finally said,
“You’ve made your decision. I think we should break up. This isn’t healthy for me. You need to heal.”
He asked for a month of no contact, but I didn’t respect that boundary out of fear that he would move on. Eventually, he blocked me.
It’s been a little over two months now. I miss him deeply, and I’m trying to grow and keep my eyes on the Lord. But I still struggle with temptation—looking at reconciliation stories, trying to find ways to see him through other accounts, because he’s blocked me everywhere.
I don’t want to control God’s plan. I want to trust Him, but I also want to be with him. If anyone has prayers, words of encouragement, or similar stories of reconciliation, I’d really appreciate them.
Now this is what I think-
1. Clearly from your story you are not ready yet for a relationship especially marriage.
2. Scripture says no one gives what he or she doesn’t have. Not that you don’t have love to give but you need to activate the love of God that’s already offered for you in your life. It looks dormant now.
3. Firstly you need to find yourself and heal. The only way I know is to discover who you are in Christ and build your faith in him. It may sound academic but it works. Be active in church where fellowshipping will build you up. Read/study the book of Ephesians and Romans for starters.
4. If this person is the right one for you from God, you ll both find each other again. Otherwise the right person is still ahead and you ll both meet at the right time.
5. Let your intentions be pure, think more of giving love than receiving. It’s in giving that we receive.
God has plans for us and only Him can bring the plans to pass in our lives. You need to surrender the matter totally to God. It is when you surrender the matter totally God that you will be able to hear Him concerning the matter. Let only the Will of God be done in the matter. You need to get your mind occupied with things of God. Pray regularly, read the Bible regularly and fellowship constantly in the church and be much involved in the things of God. Though we don’t know if you are matured already for marriage. Maturity is not only of age. It is God who knows what you need at this moment. So, allow God to lead you by Himself.
The guy gave you the best advice. You can’t go into a new relationship with the hurt of the past relationship. You must first be healed of the past relationship before you move into another or else, the past hurt will affect the present relationship. Any past that one doesn’t conquer before moving forward will come later bigger against one in the new place one move to. In all areas of our lives, we must first conquer the trials around us before we move forward because any battle one runs away from, will meet one in a bigger way wherever one run to.
May the Lord fully heal the hurt. May the Lord guide and lead you in your marital life and every area of your life. May only the Will of God come to pass in your life. May you fulfill the purpose of God for your life in Jesus’ name.
Shalom