The Reason I am Alive Today

Why did Jesus Why Jesus come to this earth?

“For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.” Mathew 9:13

“For the Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost.” Luke 19:10

“I must proclaim the good news of the kingdom of God to the other towns also, because that is why I was sent” Luke 4:43

“I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full” John 10:10

This is the reason I am alive today and witnessing my Lord’s amazing love and his purpose…

I was born in an orthodox Hindu family and my father was a pious and well-known person. Every day he used to get up early in the morning at 4.00 a.m. for personal devotion. As I grew up, I strictly followed the footsteps of my father.

When I turned 13, I looked up to my father as a role model. He was never negligent in performing pooja/worship to all Hindu gods every day. His day began early in the morning at 4:00 a.m. with prayer in our special prayer room and continued until 7:00 a.m. He strictly adhered to this schedule.

After him, I went into the pooja room and performed pujas to all Hindu gods. As per the custom I went for the bhajan at the temple every day. I was strictly advised to do it diligently for the uplifting of my spiritual life. During the daytime my father wrote ‘ SRI RAM NAAM ‘, and he was the first one to write it more than 10 million times during those days. (1977). He dedicated it in one of the RAMA TEMPLES at Badhrachalam in Tamil Nadu.

We were four sons, and I was the youngest in our family. I was very weak in my studies and stood second last in the class. I lost my father when I was in class 10th. That was the turning point in my life.

After that, I decided to concentrate on my studies. By God’s grace I passed my matriculation exams (10th) with second class and joined higher secondary. I was sincere in my school studies and stood in the top three ranks of the class. I also used to play county level cricket matches and won many trophies. Then I joined B.Sc. (Math) and tried to complete my graduation so as to get a decent job. I became a sincere, serious and religious person.

In spite of all my hard work I managed to pass in only four papers out of eight papers in the first year. My elder brother fired me because of the poor results. I told him that I had written all my papers very well and did not know how I had failed. He sent for re-evaluation and got the same results.

My papers were sent for re-evaluation and fortunately I had passed in two more papers but failed in two other papers. Out of these two papers, one was Algebra wherein I had scored 02 marks out of 100 though the minimum marks per question is 5 marks.

Thereafter my lifestyle changed completely. I was frustrated as I could not secure good results. And I started to smoke and became a chain smoker. I started using drugs and drank liquor. I became a ringleader of a gang. I indulged in ragging, brawling, and eve-teasing. Whenever there was a college strike, I stood in the front to lead it. I became a notoriously bad person. But every day I went to the temple ceremoniously and performed the puja in my house every morning.

Believe me, this subject called Algebra was after me. I was not able to complete my graduation within the stipulated time (three years) due to this. I rewrote the exam FIVE TIMES and every time I scored only 02 MARKS. But the students who copied my papers got 50 marks!

I was greatly disappointed as I was disqualified to secure a decent job. My family members were very much annoyed about my failure, and I did not find anyone to comfort or guide me at that time.

I sought for a job in that city (Chennai) and finally got a job as supervisor in one of the textile export companies with a salary of Rs.250 per month for eight hours duty. The salary was negligible, and I had a tough time with family members. So, I started working with a Chartered Accountant as a part time job from 7.30 a.m. to 8.30 a.m.

After working for more than 12 hours a day, I burned the midnight oil studying Algebra, which was a nightmare. I wrote the exam once again but in vain because I got again 02 marks in that exam. There was NO PEACE IN MY LIFE … NO JOY IN MY LIFE … NO ONE TO LOVE ME … NO ONE TO GUIDE ME … NO ONE TO TAKE CARE OF ME — although my own people were around me. My health worsened and I vomited blood due to excessive consumption of drugs/alcohol/smoking.

I reached the brink of desperation and so I decided to commit suicide. I felt that I was worthless to my family and to society.

One afternoon I went to a well to commit suicide, but I heard a voice saying this continually, ‘SUICIDE IS NOT THE CONCLUSION OF LIFE AND YOU NEED TO FACE THE FACT’.

Finally, I had to postpone my suicide attempt. Again, one afternoon I was so depressed that I ran to the temple bare footed, literally crying all the way. I asked God,

“Why has this happened to me? In spite of my hard work, why I can’t I obtain my degree? And why can’t I find real love or comfort from my family members?”

So, I decided to go to my eldest brother’s house (who was the first Christian convert in our family) and stayed with him for some time. There I got zeal to know about the Bible, but not with the intention of becoming a Christian. My brother was shocked and asked me to pack up and go back home.

After much persuasion, my elder brother agreed to send me to the Bible college on one condition: That I should not disclose this to any one of our family members or friends. Otherwise, they may cause trouble to him.

I agreed to that – as I did not want to become a Christian but only to know about the Bible. I joined a Bible College in Rajahmundry (Andhra Pradesh State).

On the very first day, God started working in my life through miracles. Here is the first miracle that I experienced in my life.

In the first week of my Bible college study, I fell sick, and I never knew how to pray to God. It was night and there was no one to take care of me since all were new and I did not know what to do. But that night, around 11 p.m., I just knelt down and started crying without uttering any word. Praise God who saw my tears and healed me that very moment.

Even after this miracle I did not accept Jesus as my Savior but while reading the Bible, God opened my spiritual eyes and convicted me to understand that I am a “SINNER”. I confessed my sins and repented.

During the days of my Bible College, I appeared for Algebra exams in Chennai. A couple of months later I asked God to give me the Algebra exam result within 24 hours. I kept this as a test to find whether this God is a true God or not. (I did not know whether the results were published or not at that time) But I prayed earnestly “GOD IF YOU ARE A REAL GOD, PLEASE ANSWER MY PRAYER.”

“GOD I WILL GIVE 24 HRS TIME FROM NOW ONWARDS (IT WAS IN THE AFTERNOON). I SHOULD GET MY RESULTS BY TOMORROW 0200 P.M. ”

That night I fasted and prayed to God continuously. Next morning, I attended the Bible classes. That afternoon all the students had gone for lunch, and I was alone in the classroom with great stress. I was praying to God. After lunch all the students returned to the classroom and the second half of the session was about to begin. The set time was nearing, and I was really tense, and I thought: Did this God also forsake me? If it is so, then there is no God at all.

When the class was about to start and the professor had entered the classroom, I was in the last bench of the classroom with downcast heart and soul. But at exactly 2:00 p.m. I saw a postman standing at the door — calling my name. Immediately I stood up and approached him to get my parcel (that was a registered AD). I got the sealed cover and I opened it in front of all the students and teacher, as I was very anxious to know what was inside the cover.

Believe me…

I got my original mark sheet of Algebra wherein I scored 2nd in the class!

I was not able to believe this and without knowing I literally cried in front all the students and professor. They looked at me with great puzzlement.

Immediately I asked the professor if I could speak a few words and my request was granted.

That event is still vivid in my memory, and these are the words I addressed at that time:

“I TESTED GOD BY GIVING HIM AN IMPOSIBBLE THING TO DO. I STARTED PRAYING TO GOD TO MAKE IT HAPPEN WITHIN THE STIPULATED TIME — THAT IS WITHIN 24 HRS TIME. I ALSO ASKED (told) GOD THAT IT SHOULD HAPPEN BEFORE 2:00 PM TODAY, OTHERWISE THERE WILL BE NO EXISTENCE OF GOD FOR ME”.

[And with a loud voice with tears streaming down my face] “BUT TODAY THE LIVING AND THE PRAYER-ANSWERING GOD HAS PROVEN THAT HE IS THE MIGHTY GOD AND CAN MAKE IMPOSSIBLE THINGS POSSIBLE!

“TODAY I ACKNOWLEDGE THAT THERE IS NO GOD BESIDES THIS GOD – LORD JESUS – WHO IS THE TRUE GOD AND WORTHY OF ALL GLORY!”

That day onwards my faith increased, and I decided to get baptized and lead a life pleasing to Jesus Christ.

Now the journey is ongoing and still my God is answering prayers of mine and I sincerely thank this God for showing great love and compassion though I am unworthy.