The Encounters I’ve Had with Jesus Christ

This isn’t all of it; a lot of things that happen growing up. And also, the encounters I’ve had with Jesus Christ since he gave me a hug I’ll never forget.

My name is Gavin Goodwin and I had a really hard childhood growing up. I used to go through watching my stepdad beat my mom I watch my grandfather hurt people for very little reasons. He even shot me in the back of the head one day for playing in the yard with a high-powered pellet rifle.

I didn’t even know my real dad up until I was nine, I finally met my dad, and everything was great for about two years. And one day after school I come home with a straight face and my conduct card. He told me I was gonna get a whooping. Well, when we got back to his house, he ended up beating me so bad to where I had blood and coming out of my back, my butt and on my lower legs. It hurt me so bad that I was trying to sleep standing up it even hurt to take a bath, and I remember it hurting me so bad wondering why I wasn’t good enough and even still whenever he took me home to my mom’s.

I cared enough about him to wait until he left before I showed my mom. And every male figure in my family was addicted to drugs or just not a good example. I bounced around a lot with my mom a lot of anxiety and depression at very young age, and it made me be real angry at the world. When I was 16, I met a girl, fell deeply in love with her.

About three years into it started treating me like absolute crap in the fifth year. She ended up getting pregnant and she had an abortion. And I didn’t want her to, but at the time the laws were completely against me. I never did get to have a dad so always wanted to be a husband and a dad because I never got that in my life.

Two months later after we break up, she called me to tell me that she was pregnant with another guys baby, and she was gonna have it and that really causes me to hate the world and hate myself, and I really fell off the deep end. I started abusing drugs, real bad from cocaine just everything. I started stealing and lying etc. I just didn’t care no more I didn’t wanna be alive.

Everybody always judges me but not one person in my life ever cared enough to stop and ask why are you the way that you are. My mom seemed to have given up on everything too, and I really couldn’t blame her cause she had it rough too. She didn’t deserve none of it either. I remember us being so lonely that when my mom would go to work, I would have to get up and get my sister ready for school and make sure we go to the bus on time, and I remember taking her to the father daughter dance whenever I was in middle school.

My mom really tried her best after a while. I got so tired of being pushed around and people judging me and talking about me and making stuff up that I really just wanted to not be here. I remember standing in the living room looking at my mama and my sister and one of my mom‘s friends and in my head, I told myself they don’t know it, but this is the last time they’ll ever see me. I went out with some buddies that I didn’t have no business being with, and I ended up buying some Xanax bars that had fentanyl in them, and I knew they had fentanyl in them. That was my plan was to overdose. Just go to sleep and never wake up.

Well six days later I did wake up. I woke up going down the highway, and when I come to reality, I looked down and seen my hospital bracelet. It really hurt my mom and my little sister. I didn’t really think about you know what that would’ve done to her I was just tired and hurt myself. I didn’t even know anything I still don’t.

I remember everybody jumping on me just called me a drug addict still talking about me so of course I stayed on it on drugs. My mom had met her someone she deserved. She deserved to be loved, but he didn’t want me around, so I kinda just got thrown to the wolves.

I knew a guy that had an apartment and he let me stay with him I remember one night I was sitting on the couch and I was doing drugs and I remember just feeling so depressed and lonely and all I wanted to die, but I already tried one time I remember crying I called out to God if you’re real please, help me I’m hurt. I’m tired. I don’t wanna be here no more. That’s when everything change. I had this overwhelming sense peace, love, and mercy I had never felt before.

I said Jesus Christ if this is you saving my life, why because I don’t deserve it. For the first time I heard the voice of God saying “Psalms 51:5 ESV”:

Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity, and in sin did my mother conceive me.

Ezekiel 36:26 ESV:

I will renew you a new heart a new mind and a new soul.

My life has been more than I can imagine since the day he kicked my door in and held me! I’ve had some really cool experiences. I can’t wait to share with people! Jesus Christ is the way, the truth, and the life. I’ll gladly deny myself daily and follow him because WOW.