Woo, it’s been a journey. I’m going to make this short. I was a strict celibate Christian between ages 17-22. Then all of a sudden I broke my celibacy but that is the least of what I did.
It all started with me doing yoga (not blaming yoga just saying). Then I started studying philosophies such as Daoism. Then I moved on to Wicca (I was secretly fascinated with the occult). I was already into goth style music at this point so Wicca, Witchcraft, Atheism, Satanism didn’t scare me in the slightest.
I studied the occult off and on for years and eventually started doing spells and rituals and learning about all of the various forms of witchcraft. I didn’t notice that my life was falling apart around me but only looked at each experience as something to be learned from.
I was heavily into the tarot and thought I was getting accurate answers. I didn’t start questioning it until I noticed everytime I met a man my cards would say
“he was the one”.
I would get love, marriage (oracle cards have these types of details) even when I had asked “various deities” to stop giving me love readings and allow me to be celibate (the men would turn out to be horrible). My tarot readings used to end in anger seeing that I was angry that I was being lied to about men when I was not trying to focus on a man.
In the meanwhile, I had been introduced to the idea of guardian spirits through a friend 3 years ago who walked me through the process of incorporating guardians and I thought that I even had dragon guardians but I never felt safe in my home. I had one in particular that he sent to me that I was told would help me find stuff. I must say he did not lie. If my so called guardians weren’t good for anything else it was to help me find things and even my friend who lives with me would thank my dragon. I would do rituals of protection very frequently but I never felt safe (that was the first clue). I was so deep into the occult I had studied and even admired Anton Lavey (although I wasn’t attracted to Satanism). I knew all about Mr. Crowley and even were subscribed to a few Satanists on youtube.
One day something told me to look up Great Babylon on youtube and that led me to Pastor Stevenson. I couldn’t believe this man had so much knowledge on bible prophecy. Believe it or not I was trying to hold on to the occult and the bible.
It wasn’t until my misery grew beyond control and I had to deal with the fact that My mom died in 2012 and my husband died in 2013 (we were separated but still friends) and I could not find a man who cared about me that I grew severely depressed and I had a yearning for Jesus. I also had seen a lot of information on the illuminati, sex cult rituals, and satanism and hollywood that it dawned on me how real Satan was. I did not want to be a part of such evil and more importantly I didn’t want to end up taking the mark of the beast blinded in darkness.
I wanted to see a righteous society and I didn’t want to spend my life going from man to man and practicing a bunch of foolishness. This society is growing more and more devilish (which was Satan’s plan from the jump) and I didn’t want to partake in all of this lusts, violence and overrall defiance of Jesus. Jesus is the only one who can teach a society how to live righteous (in my humble opinion). There is too much wickedness here and here I thought I could use wickedness to fight wickedness (yes I did a few black magic spells).
I asked the cards should I get rid of my idols and got a yes card (Jesus answered). Needless to say the cards are a done deal as well. From that moment on I have not had a panic attack, I feel a sense of love surrounding me, and most importantly I feel safe. I don’t want to serve any other God but Jesus. There is no other God nor will there ever be.