I am/was living the secret life that is sinful. the secret was in my exam year, I begun well with good grades. At that time I stopped watching and chose to obey God, however when it was november we went with school. We saw the red lights and other things that led me to temptation. When I came back home I instantly got back hooked with porn that led me to masturbate.
In New Year I promised God to never sin again like I was doing, But the next day I got tempted and stumbled again. I could feel the shame and guilt afterwards. At that moment I knew I had became a slave. I’d rather sit alone in my room feeling bad about myself. It was hard because my mind was very impure at all time. This caused me to be less concentrated etc and I got some problems with my eyesight. Two weeks before my exams I was still struggling very hard with this awfull sin. Suddenly God’s spoke to me and said this “If your eye causes you to stumble, pluck it out and throw it from you. It is better for you to enter life with one eye, than to have two eyes and be cast into the fiery hell.”Mathew 18:9”. So I throw my mobile device. At that time I had one and a half week to prepare for my exams.
I had done barely nothing the last few months so I tried to learn praying that the holy spirit will help me. And then the final exams… I begun with math that was terrible for me. I always got poor grades. But now I had just passed math glory to God! Temptations still came and while I was doing my other exams I constantly got distracted with filthy thoughts etc. I learned less and thought that I already failed. I didn’t pass my exams, so after my last exams I run to the stores to buy a new mobile device and it all begun again. So from now one I’ve decided to put my mobile away. Yet I still haven’t tell told anyone about this help I am scared to tell. What should I do?
All those thoughts you have in your head are lies from the enemy. That is not the real you! Everytime you have those thoughts, thank God that you are already righteous in Him! The death of Jesus has removed all your sins and you are not a sinner anymore, you are perfect before God. That’s how God sees you..PERFECT!!! So, you should thank God that you are righteous in Him everytime a thought comes into your head!!! And I promise you the devil will be defeated!
The battle with porn and masturbation is one that can be overcome. I have been free for over 10 years. I have not had to battle masturbation ever since. It is good to be free. But it was not without a battle. I was interviewed in written format (Q&A) regarding my deliverance. You can view the interview here: http://www.howtostopmasturbation.com/pt-13-stopping-masturbation-with-prayer.html
There’s a brilliant bible study that you can do online at settingcaptivesfree.com. There’s a bible study for all sorts of addictions including sexual addiction. It’s free and each lesson is between I/2 hour to one hour daily for sixty days and you get a mentor. I highly recommend it.