My Testimony of Survival, Hope, And the Faithfulness of Jesus

This is what alcohol looked like to me through my father: a man transformed by addiction into someone who, as a child and young teen, I experienced as a monster.

But this is also a testimony of how Jesus stepped into that darkness, how He protected me, rescued me, and later used that pain to break a generational curse.

Verbal Abuse, Fear, and the Dissolving of My Identity

The verbal abuse came daily:

“You’re stupid.”
“You’re ugly.”
“You’re selfish.”
“You’re slow.”
“You’re nothing.”

I began to believe it.

At school, I faced cruelty from my peers. Their bullying felt like the enemy joining forces with the chaos at home. I was spiritually slipping. I stopped praying regularly. I stopped reaching for Jesus.

Fear slowly turned into anger.

I was becoming someone I didn’t recognize.

My Breaking Point

I attempted suicide.

A girl at school told a teacher. The teacher told my mother. By God’s mercy, I was rescued.

But being rescued meant leaving my siblings behind, and that haunted me. Even so, Jesus gently reminded me that He forgives, and that I must forgive myself.

That forgiveness took time.

Searching for Love, and Losing My Way

At eighteen, I met a man who made me feel valued. We married when I was twenty… and then the mask fell.

He became abusive. He was addicted not only to alcohol, but to cocaine. I had never touched drugs before him, but eventually I became trapped in that cycle myself, searching for something to fill the emptiness that only Jesus could fill.

Then one day, the Lord spoke clearly to my spirit:

“If you died today, who have you chosen, Me or the drugs?”

That moment became my turning point.

I left my husband.
I quit everything cold turkey.
And I ran back to Jesus.

Understanding My Father…and Choosing Forgiveness

Later in life, I learned that I have bipolar II (hypomania) and ADHD, conditions that went undiagnosed throughout my childhood. I also learned that my father suffered from the same inherited mood disorder and self-medicated through alcohol.

His addiction and unresolved childhood trauma shaped his abusive behavior.

This understanding did not excuse the pain, but it allowed me to forgive him.

Eventually, my father stopped drinking for a time, and we rebuilt our relationship. He returned to the Lord, helped others find faith, and died with a softer heart.

By God’s grace, I was able to break the generational curse he carried.

The Armor of God – My Lifeline

Ephesians 6:13-16

“Therefore put on the full armor of God…
Stand firm then, with the belt of truth…
with your feet fitted with the gospel of peace.
Take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.”

Closing Testimony

I stumbled many times.
I wandered away.
I tried to fill the emptiness with people, rebellion, alcohol, and even drugs.

Every earthly substitute failed.

But when I finally turned fully back to Jesus, He rescued me, restored me, and poured His light through me again.

Today I stand as proof that:

• No trauma is wasted in the hands of God.
• No darkness is too deep for His light.
• No generational curse is stronger than His freedom.
• No child is ever abandoned by Him, not for a moment.