Hello beautiful people, I was lost for the past 23 yrs of my life and when I was told about our father, and about Lord Jesus Christ who sacrificed his life to save us all, I was very happy. God revealed himself to me a number of times. It’s been 2-3 months now, but I have started to lose faith. Somehow, I am now full of anxiety, hate, anger and mistrust. I don’t love anyone I feel. I have become extremely insensitive. I feel that I am full of jealousy :( I feel like I am fake now. There’s always pretense. I go out of the way to keep someone happy and then I start hating it after sometime.
I just feel sad that I am unable to bring myself in GOD now … which really makes me extremely unhappy.
But last night, I got a really scary dream. I saw myself getting angry like crazy about something i can’t remember and my head started to become extremely heavy and then numb. And i could not hear a word and i was getting dragged by my head. My mom was right there and she kept screaming and repaeting “whos there?” This is all that i remember and i wanted to discuss it with someone. But I don’t feel I can discuss it with any of my friends. I am seeking help from you all … I don’t want my faith to deteriorate any more, instead, I want it to grow stronger and be blessed by Him again.
I feel very lonely. I stay in US, faraway from my parents. I don’t have any good friends here with whom I could be myself. With whom I can discuss. With whom I can talk … like talk talk. I am not seeing anyone and…I don’t know. Things are just not fine here.
Please someone guide me, and pray for me. I don’t have the strength to bear this any more. I need your blessings and your prayers.
God bless all of you.