Still Fighting Hard

So, I’m 14 currently. And so here is my testimony. So I grew up in a Christian household. Still am. And back when I was younger, I used to see everyone with their cool things and got jealous. I fought that for years. I struggled.

And I loved going to church, seeking out Jesus more. I’ve lived in the same trailer park all my life. I’ve never moved once. And as I grew older the need for privacy became stronger on me. And I began to try to be alone best I could. And it was rarely ever to talk to Jesus.

When I turned 10, a lot changed. I met this girl. I’m not gonna say her name because I don’t wanna point fingers. But she was not a good influence on me. She was mean to all my other friends and tried to get me away from them. She was clearly not a good Christian. She acted like she could talk to Satan. And she was not good for me at all.

Over the years, I began to grow distant from God. And 3 years later as I was feeling distant, one thing that happened, was the hardest hit on me ever. My parents divorced. And it affected me a lot. I isolated myself more than ever. I stopped reading the Bible. I went to church, but my heart wasn’t in it. I felt the Holy Spirit but didn’t listen.

I was feeling sad and angry for no reason. I snapped at my family and others around me. They didn’t deserve it. So, I thought isolating myself was best for me. So I wouldn’t hurt anyone else. But that hurt others. My parents would ask to be with me, and I would sometimes snap but never said yes to them. And that hurt them. And me? It hurt me badly.

Because I grew distant from God. I forgot about the Bible, stopped praying. After I started my period, I used it to get out of going to church. I was too affected to face God and his judgement. And soon, I heard Leanna Crawford. One of her songs. “Still Waters”. And it really hit me. I began to listen more to praise music. I’m still trying to read the Bible. And I can’t let the devil win. Not again. Although I’m still losing, I’m still fighting hard.