I recently received news that my ex has an “incurable” std. I put “ with incurable because I am trying to believe in my heart that nothing is incurable with the faith of the lord.
Throughout our past relationship we were not using protection all the time. Once I found out the news I could not eat or sleep for days. I am only 22 and just started college. Just started to get my life on track. And now I feel like it’s being ripped away from me in an instant.
I never knew I wanted to be married and to be able to bear children until I received that call. I’ve been contemplating suicide. And have been praying for the peace of mind. For support. And for more faith.
Now that I’ve received the news that I might have it. I have noticed what might be a break out. I have been praying non stop and I think for me to be able to get through this I will need more prayer.
I first felt like I was being punished but after reading testimonies that I found on here I know this is not true. I believe in God. I believe Jesus died for our sins. He was whipped so that we may be HEALED. I’m trying to tell myself I am healed. I do not have this disease. I wanted to get tested but I am scared. I am currently practicing abstinence. And will continue to do so.
But if this test comes back and it’s positive, I do not know what will be next for me. And I am praying that god will work it out. Either for me to be negative. Or to give me strength to live through this without committing another sin by taking a life He created. Me. This is not a threat to god or for others. I wish to stay positive and continue to have faith. So may you please send your prayers my way. I am in need of all. Thank you and god bless.
