Young man reflecting

Do I Stand Firm in Faith and be Still?

My name is Michael I am 18 years old and walk the righteous path of YAHUSHUA HA MASHIACH (Jesus the Messiah)

I met this girl last January she was 14 n I was 17. We really liked each other in the beginning and the first thing we had in common is that we were followers of Christ. We would say that but would not show it by our actions we would lust a lot.

Like a month into our relationship, she broke up with me because she said that she just wants to focus on God. I was sad but I went about my day, and she eventually came up to me and started talking to me that same day n I said that we both can seek God together she smiled and agreed n we were back together.

Months went by and I would pray to God she was the one for me. A month or so after this girl that goes to our school that was a mutual friend of ours texted me during school asking me to meet her in the library. I thought twice about it because she would always be like

“I have to tell you something that God told me.”

But she would never end up telling me.

So I was kind of iffy if I should meet up with her in the library, but I did and I said OK what do you want to tell me, and she started praying and then said

“God told me a month ago what I’m about to tell you but told me not to tell you until today. Luisa (the girl I was with) is the one for you, but you have to put God first.”

I felt like I ignored the putting God first part n only heard the me and her part that same day I heard from 2 prophets from my group that I’m in and they said the same thing that God showed them also.

We were happy but I can tell she was confused in a way and felt pressured. I used to like her best friend and when we first got together her best friend would flirt with me and I wouldn’t even take notice on how Luisa would feel so I would play around back. One day she called me crying about it and I realized what I was doing and put myself in her shoes and would get so mad if she had done that with a friend of mine.

My group was commanded by God to do a 40 day fast last summer the night before the fast my girlfriend broke up with me. She said she stopped having feelings for me out of nowhere but would always be here for me no matter what. I started crying n hung up on her and called one of my leaders from my group at 3 am. He started speaking in Holy tongues and God began to say “knew tia was gonna happen already, I’m the one who allowed these feelings into her heart prove to me your love for Me this 40 day fast and watch how I change her heart”.

When I heard that I was happy but re enemy started messing with my mind. I would try to get back with her every day and would get rejected we ended up kissing out of nowhere one day and it felt so pure and Holy like it was directly from God, but she stopped herself. I apologized to her, and she said she wanted to kiss me, but she doesn’t want that right now she just wants to seek God.

I took it the wrong way until halfway into the fast I surrendered to God and said I love you and have faith in your word for You do not lie. I noticed her texting me a lot more and stuff, but I was so focused on God I didn’t really care that much about it I would ask to read the bible with her, and she would say she’s going to a friends. The last day of the fast my friend that God used to speak that word about me and her. His wife had a baby I went to go see the baby and something told me to text her and ask if she wanted to come. I didn’t know of it was my heart deceiving me, so I tested it and she surprisingly said yes.

So, I went to her house she lives down the street from me and we waited for our ride to the hospital I noticed that things were different since I wasn’t all over her. We got to the hospital and my mom and little brother was there and were all just fellowshipping together as we were going home. I told my mom to drop me off at Luisas because she asked if I wanted to eat pizza rolls with her. Her parents were not home as we were making the food. We ended up kissing out of nowhere. I did not plan it nor intend it.

I felt like Angels pushed us together we kissed n she started crying n we felt the Holy Spirit poured all over us she kept saying what is this I’m feeling because she never felt what we were feeling before. We ended up back together and everything was really blessed but then arguments started attacking us. I would get mad for the littlest dumbest things now that I look at it and blew it way out of proportion. I regret it so bad because she said it made her loose feelings. I would get mad that she wouldn’t wanna spend time that much after school she was too tired and wanted to take a nap.

Then one day she goes to her best friends to eat tacos. So, I got mad cuz she never would hang out with me but then she has time for her friend I was complaining to her about it, and she broke up with me and said that she was having family problems and I wasn’t benefiting any her I chased her down the street n she just kept saying stop leave me alone.

It’s been 2 months. For about 1 month straight I would pour my heart out every day and she would reject me. It hurts bad but I know I have my Father comforting me when I get lonely and depressed. I saw her with this other guy on my bus that she had a past with, and they were flirting in front of me she knew I was sitting right there. I felt so horrible, but I just want to be delivered n pray that God gives me one more chance and changes her heart I realize how selfish I was and have learned my lesson. Please give me advice if you are led to. YAH BLESS


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