March 11th, 2013 at 1:57 am
I can’t sleep tonight. 3 months ago, my boyfriend of 4 years broke up with me. We got in a fight, and he said he was done forever. The night before he had told me how much he had saved up for a ring, and how much he couldn’t wait to start a family with me. He is the love of my life.
Originally, he chased me for a year; I was too scared to say yes to him because I thought I was too much work for anyone, and I was scared. Eventually, I got to a better situation with myself, and I realized how much I liked him. Every day of my life I love him more than I did the day before. I truly feel like God put this man in my life to be the one I spend the rest of it with. He is such a good person, but his friends have convinced him his moral code is not normal for a college guy.
All my life, I have made the promise to myself and God, that I would only have sex with one man. My heart could not handle more than that. Before my ex and I lost our virginity, I prayed to God for months to tell me if this was not the right thing. Instead, I felt him tell me that Mac was the one. 2 years later, we’ve been apart for 3 months.
He won’t let me speak to him, or his family, whom I considered my own. I truly felt that God put these people in my life for good. I never took them for granted, and I was always there for them. Now Mac has gone out and had sex with other girls who he does not love. This hurts me deeply, but I know if he came back I could forgive him and move on from it. What hurts is that I cannot move on from Mac.
No matter how hard I try, each day it gets worse; I miss and love him more and more. I pray for God to bring him back, but it seems so unlikely when Mac is enjoying all this freedom with whoever he wants. Why would he pick me, who tied him down with commitment, when he can have freedom and popularity?
It seems impossible for him to ever come back to me, but I KNOW I will never love another like I live Mac. I know that during our relationship I put Mac before God, and that this breakup may have happened to improve my relationship with God. I’m grateful for that opportunity.
However, I am so scared that this is the end. I’m scared that I will continue to feel like this while Mac loves life and 4 years of love and happiness will be for nothing. I could have sworn God wanted me to marry this man, but then why would he take him away? I know in my heart I cannot be with anyone else, but it’s been 3 months and God has not restored our relationship.
Every time I’ve tried on my own Mac has gotten angry and told me to leave him alone. I don’t know what to do. I cannot sleep or eat. And I live in constant fear. I need Gods help, but I cannot feel it at all. If someone would please give me an answer, I would be very grateful. Thank you.
Dear Kristin,
“Even if my father and mother abandon me, the LORD will hold me close.â€Psalm 27:10
Take comfort from Father God in the name of Jesus. Tell your heart “I will cast all my burdens upon Him for He cares for me†1Peter 5:7
You should ask forgiveness as well, Kristin, because you CANNOT go against the Word of God and sexual relationships without marriage are adultery and hated by the Lord. This is something you must willingly admit to and asking forgiveness, He will help you.
“If you see any brother or sister commit a sin that does not lead to death, you should pray and God will give them life.â€1 John 5:16
Kristin, earthly love is difficult and very tormentous. I am someone who fell in love as a teenager, came to know only later that i am actually in love and gave it up then and there because I knew it would not be accepted by my family. I come from a traditional ultra orthodox family. I suffered for SEVEN years of my life because it was really love. but with the Lords help and disclipline I DID IT! “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!â€Philippians 4:13 Hallelujah!
I am not saying that the Lord does not wish you to marry this man but you should turn your eyes away from earthly things and look to God.â€I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world YOU WILL HAVE TROUBLE. But take heart! I have overcome the world.â€John 16:33
Praise Him for His greatness, guidance and Love. Praise Him daily for your salvation. Apply His blood daily on your personal life. Do these every day to get a good start on the day and to be in the Spirit to cast down the depression the enemy tries to trap you in.
And “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.â€Philippians 4:6
He IS the God of miracles. “He is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us,â€Ephesians 3:20
Pray with me: “Father Jehovah, in the name of Jesus Christ, we ask your help in Kristin’s life and situations. Holy Spirit we invite you into her relationship with Mac and submit both of them before you. Guide them both to Your purpose for their lives according to Your will. In the Name of Jesus! we demolish the work of the evil one, and break every spirit of Contention that works between Mac and Kristin. Lord ,open their spiritual eyes that they may see what you have intended for them. In the name of Jesus Amen.
God bless you Kristin. Be Joyful in the Lord.
Kirstin! I agree 100% with Cheeryleesa, and believe God gave her wisdom in what she told you! Oh, I know what it means when it seems as if, or even worse, if you lost the one whom you loved so much! Sometimes, we believe with our whole heart, this was/is the one and only! For us as humans, it may easily be the case, but remember… God does not make mistakes! What must happen for you and Mac will happen. If God wants you to be together (as you asked Him) it will be the case but… always remember God knows the absolute best!His will for His children is sovereign and perfect!
If we walk through dark valleys and bad times, rest assure, God will be with you, even in the darkest of hours!He will never fail us, the Almighty promised us He will never let us down!As long as we confess and truly believe, Jesus Christ is our Lord , He who died on the cross, washed us clean from all our sins, and overcome death, so that we can live forever more – God will never leave you alone! Hold on to God, He must always be your no.1, and pray for Mac as well! Even if you don’t get back to each other, you must no and feel how privileged you are, as to pray for someone you love! God knows your heart and He knows what pain you suffer but…. again,make God your first love and follow Him! He will guide you and be sure…if God has someone else in mind for you, you will be far better off.Now that may sound totally wrong but, that doesn’t mean Mac is bad at all, it just means …God knows what the best matches will be for you, and for Mac! Although it may not feel like it now, God says, everything works out for the better for His children whom He loves! God loves you and you repent on your wrongdoings…from now on, don’t sin anymore , keep your live clean from adultery and make sure God is put first in all things! In this way you can’t go wrong. That doesn’t mean you won’t fall or stumble again but… the direction you follow must allow you to always see Jesus – the true Light, the Way and the Live!If you then stumble, you can just look up and He will be there for you.Don’t take your eyes “away” from Jesus.That will cause you to sin and fall!
Father in heaven, thank you so much, for your unconditional and perfect love you have for us!We pray for Kristin and every other person who suffer in their relationships! Thank you that you gave us control over Satan and his works in the Name of Jesus Christ our Lord. Therefore we speak life into the lives of your children.Father will you protect and guide us in order to follow only Your true light!Do not let Satan deceive us and tie us down to an earthly focus on our relationships!Let us see ,that your works are far above our human understanding, and let us trust in your ways ,and your power and will only! God, your plans and timing are perfect beyond our highest imagination! May you be glorified ,Jesus Christ, we exalt your Holy Name and praise you for ever end ever ! Amen!
Dear cantsleep13,
I am so sorry that you are going through such a terrible time. I can only imagine the pain that you are going through. But as a Christian I would like to draw your attention to something. You admit that you had put Mac before God and that is not something small before God. He loves you a lot and He is jealous for you (Exodus 20:5). God created you for His glory and His alone and putting your boyfriend before him, you made him into an idol and it’s no surprise that the relationship did not work. You need to surrender to God, you need to put Him first because He says in matt 6:33 seek ye first the kingdom of God and its righteousness and all other things shall be added unto you. Put God first now, turn things around, go to him in prayer and confess all that you are feeling. Don’t just sit around waiting for your boyfriend to come back, he might never come back, I know its heartbreaking to consider that, but you need to go on with life and only God can help you. Confess your pain and hurt, your hopes and fears about his not coming back but then surrender it all at his feet. You cannot handle it, but He can. Tell him the pain, the hurt, the worry, the fears and tears are too much for you and ask Him to carry for you. That is why He came, that is why He died. You don’t have to live like that, no eating nothing! No man is worth that, in my opinion only God is worth that, but He doesn’t ask us to do that. Tell God to come into your life and take His rightful place, first place. When He does, He will never put you through what your boyfriend is putting you through. Surrender even your boyfriend to God. Remember everyday that your happiness does not depend on him. Your happiness comes from God every morning ask God to give you His joy to be your strength. I am sorry to say this to you, but that man might never come back. Because God is watching and seeing how he has treated you. You are God’s precious daughter, you think He likes to see His daughter treated that way? Unless he changes no father and God is the Father of all Fathers would like to see him near their daughter again. Surrender my sister. He will hold your hand and take you through the healing that you need because even if your boyfriend comes back, you still need healing. The wounds he’ve inflicted on you are too painful. Men have power to wound and no power to heal. You need God to heal you. Be wise my sister, run to the waiting arms of God right now, there is nowhere else not even in those arms that you long to be in so much that will completely heal the hurt and the pain.
May the peace of the Lord that surpasses all understanding keep you even from right now and forever. Amen
Well God definitely had me see this post. My boyfriend of 4 years just broke up with me and the love we had was definitely from God. There was nothing like it. He began to follow and chase the world. I couldn’t be apart of it anymore. I began to compromise myself. I was puting him before God. Gods given me a faith though! ONLY HE CAN FIX IT. I miss him and his family, I was pretty much apart of it. I spent every day there. He wants the world though and no accountability to anybody. I feel in my heart that he’s the one but Gods telling me to be patient and to trust in him. I haven’t attempted to talk to him or anything because I know only God can change his heart. Of you dissapear from his life then God will give his plans. God can’t restore you. Your under no condition to be in a relationship if you make Mac your everything and your definitely not supposed to be with him if he’s not the spiritual Christian leader that God wants you to have. Remember that God works all things out for those that put him first. Believe me this is the hardest thing in the world I’ve ever had to deal with but God didnt want it any other way. I’m excited for the Christian man God will make him one day. I’m just praising God.
I know your pain. My husband of 20 years left me for a much younger woman. We have three children. It broke their hearts too. As painful as you situation is, it is better to happen now than later, believe me. The comments you received on this page from other people are full of wisdom and compassion for you. I hope you will meditate the truth in them; they are profoundly true. It is normal you feel desperate for Mac, because sexual relationships bond us emotionally and chemically – powerful hormones are released to create a bond between man and woman. That is why God tell us to have sex only when ready to commit for life because the pain of separation is almost unbearable after the bond of sex. With time, this pain will subside. It is almost a physical addiction, like drugs: look up the hormone ocytocin on the internet if you want to understand this better. Your pain is so great that it makes you numb to God’s presence as well. But I tell you, HE IS THERE. He knows your pain. Soon you will reconnect with God. He will heal your broken heart. That is the kind of God we have.
Dear Sister,
I have read all the advices given and its indeed what you need. One thing to add is that love from the heart real pains, i have gone through that after a rxn for 6years and i thought i was gone and dint have fiath for even a day but God healed me, all changed and am sure am really very happy and loved after three years please sister let go and let God.
From my testimony am very sure and beyond sure no one can trust God and loose, EVEN IF IT APPEARS SO But for just a moment, one day you will tell praise God and even encourage others
Please know that sometimes God seems far yet He is very close, you cant believe what a loving God we have !
I have never been through relationship problems before (I’m only 16 :)) so pardon if my advice isn’t the greatest!… Mac is in God’s hands now, my sister, and all you can do now is trust God to be your Comforter. He is 100% goodness and He will not let you down! If we put our hope and trust in man, we will always be disappointed, because nobody is perfect. Put your feet on the solid Rock, and your heart will be healed! I will be praying for you! Never lose hope!
Hey lovely. Sorry to hear about your breakup. It is tough huh, not fair and seems like the world can’t go on without that one person. Honestly it can and it is. Even though you feel so down and like you can’t go on any longer, you can. I broke up with my bf last year. It was hard but i knew the relationship was wrong and i knew he no longer liked me. He was my best friend and i shared alot with him, even some sexual stuff, which was not what i wanted in a relationship. I developed depression shortly after and thought that ending my life would be the best thing. My ex started liking a new girl that i knew and it was heart breaking. I haven’t spoken to him for 8 months now, but the most important thing is that i am still here. God gave me strength to wake up and keep going everyday. It is still hard but it gets easier! God loves you and his love is more than enough for you! I promise. Wait for someone who leads you closer to god and his kingdom, someone who inspires you and loves you enough to want to spend the rest of their lives with you. You are precious. Just know that. Don’t let it get to you, pray to god and surround yourself with friends and family 🙂 God bless you.
Dear Kristin
Im praying that you are seeing God’s hand during the very painful season in your life. I feel so blessed with the advice you received from everybody. It is true that it is very difficult to see and feel God when you are right in the middle of the pain. But because He is graceful He makes sure that there is something or someone (stranger or not) in our lives to remind us that God is watching and He is in control. That we can trust Him to take us out of every situation as overcomers.
I am going through a painful heartbreak right now. I found this page by accident because I was looking for bible based articles about heartbreak. I regret reacting to the situation like I did not have God in me. I am praying to God that he take away the pain but most importantly the bitterness, anger, jealousy and grief. The relationship started as a friendship. He became the closest person to me during a very painful time (I was going through a divorce). We work in the same place and spent alot of time with each other at work and outside. The relationship blossomed but was never defined. We are both Christians. He more advanced (not sure how else to put it) than me. Although I have been a Christian from childhood I only took my relationship with God seriously a little over a year ago. We started having sex. On one end the connection between us felt so natural but after sex both of us would felt guilty, dirty and regretful. God was speaking to both of us about it. We tried to avoid being tempted but it never really worked. He had been confessing to me that he feel that God is working in Him in a much deeper way and that God has a plan for his life that he cannot explain. He started to very slowly drift away I tried to give him space. He took time off from work and during that time we met then told me that he has been seeking God during his time off. I asked him to tell me the truth about what is happening between us. He said we need to seek God and he no longer wants to be a hindrance in my spiritual growth. But I asked him if there was someone else. After so much hesitation he admitted that there is. During his vacation he reconnected with a woman from his church that he had always wanted to be with. He said that they spiritually connect and she is able to prophesy in his life like nobody else can. He also said he was confused and not sure of what is happening to him. But he admitted that they are now together. It is so difficult to accept. Like I said I reacted like God is not in me. I understand everything in my head. But it is the emotional struggle that has been challenging. I have been praying to God, reading His word and focusing on Him. Early this year Matt 6:13 has always been a verse that came to my mind. I always felt grateful for having him in my life but at the back of my mind I knew that I did not have God first place. I receive this situation as God discipline and telling me that He wants me to be dependent on Him 100% and no other human. I have no fantasies of us getting back together. I read somewhere that God puts people together who are on a certain level of spiritual maturity and those who are equally yoked. He and his girlfriend seem to be exactly that. Although I am struggling with negative emotions I am praying so much to God to heal my wounds and I’m asking for His supernatural power to overcome my humanness. I will be seeing him at work in a week. I surrender all my pain to God and claiming complete recovery that I can be a good Christian co worker towards him. I find comfort in the verse Psalm 34:18 that God is close to the brokenhearted and those with crushed spirit. I hold on to His promise in Jeremiah 29:11 that He has a plan for me, to prosper me give me hope and a future. Our God is an amazing God. We have His spirit living in us. Although we fail and falter He is ever ready to forgive and pick us up. God bless you Kristin.
Dear whoever who reads this.
God restored my relationship when I believed it was impossible. I was with my boyfriend when I was 16. We broke up and then I contacted him and we started speaking again. In that time he got with another girl and was dating her. That’s when I was betrayed as although we weren’t together we were still sleeping with one another regularly. After that I lost all hope. I thought why would God bring him back? He has a girl of his own choice.. How? It’s never going to happen. BUT IT DID. I used to pray and just trust God at times I would lean on my own understanding but God says not to do that but to trust him. So sit back, leave it in his hands. I know it’s hard but if it means you get what you want restored then be strong!!!! I believe what had happened was for a reason as without the other girl coming in the picture by boyfriend wouldn’t of realised my worth. Sometimes you should pray for God to send his angels around the person you have lost and let them do the work, the right way at the right time. Jesus listens he already knows our heart. You don’t think he knows your ask? You don’t think he knows it’s a plan that we can’t see.
God will make a way when there seems to be no way. He will do something new today
Amen. I pray and wish you all get through this
Cantsleep13,
You said:
Dear sister,
You did not hear from God if you think He was telling you it was ok to sleep with Mac outside of marriage. Fornication, look the word up , is SIN. In the Book of 1 Corinthians it says that fornicators will not enter the kingdom of heaven. 1 Corinthians 6: 9-10.
God does not lie and there is no sin in Him and He will not tell you to do something contrary to HIs word. God would speak via the Holy Spirit through Paul and say that fornicators will not enter the kingdom of God and then tell you that it’s ok to fornicate with your boyfriend.
Sex outside of marriage is SIN, it is called FORNICATION. Christians are only supposed to have sexual relations to the man or woman they married. That’s it.
I will pray that God gives you His peace and good discernment to hear His voice clearly. The voice of our flesh can get SO loud when we want something. We need to seek out His still small voice and read the Bible so we know what God’s good and perfect will is.
The Bible says in Numbers 23:19:
So he wouldn’t say one minute that fornicators will not enter heaven and then tell His precious sons and daughters that it’s ok to fornicate. That would be wrong and contradictory.