Well, I know this is a site to post testimonies, but I have read entries of those asking for prayer. I am doing so in my entry; however, I do hope I can come back one day and post again as a testimony.
I need prayer for my boyfriend and for myself. You see, he is a broken individual, and it affects those closest to him, especially me. I get wrapped up in wanting everything right again “right now” and I consume myself with the situation and I know that isn’t what God wants. I cannot fix my boyfriend; I have learned that. But I can and do lift him up to the Lord.
My boyfriend had a childhood that no child should have to go through. The biggest traumatic experience involved molestation. As a result of all the traumas, my bf became hardened and built walls along the way. And he grew such a loathing for himself.
Well, that continued into his adulthood and has affected all of his past relationships. He was very honest with me from the beginning and as I grew to love him, I accepted the bad with the good. The main reason I stand by him, aside from loving him, is that I have been allowed to see who he wants to be. He wants a relationship with Christ but doesn’t know how to do it. On top of that, he fears showing any vulnerability, and when we come to the Lord, it must be with a humble, vulnerable heart, I believe.
He has asked the Lord into his life, but all this time, he has walked with one foot in and one foot out. He has had so many demons for many years and with that foot out, it’s easy for them to come flooding back. The enemy uses the same things over and over to tempt him…all worldly things. He pushes all the “good” people in his life aside and says he rather be around people who are miserable, like him. He hurts me tremendously in these episodes, as he becomes very selfish. Then, in the midst of connecting to worldly and sinful things, he has a tremendous amount of guilt and shame, and it quickly turns into self-loathing.
He says he doesn’t want to turn from faith, but he cannot go there “right now.” He has made many strides and has gone a long time before his current stumble, and I told him I believe he will be a testimony one day. When he is good, he is so loving and cares so much for those around him and walks in faith the best he can. However, he has never completely surrendered to the Lord from the heart, and I believe in doing so, getting baptized, and staying strong in faith and seeking the Lord, he will be free of his chains and the demons will flee.
As I mentioned earlier, I tend to get consumed with all of this, but I know that isn’t what the Lord wants. He wants me to truly surrender my boyfriend to Him and he certainly doesn’t want me to put my boyfriend before Him. And in the midst of the chaos, I get tremendously stressed, down, can’t eat, my thoughts of what’s going to happen plague me…and I know none of this is of God.
Therefore, I ask for prayers for myself, too, that I learn to surrender it all to the Lord and just step aside patiently and accept His will! And that I learn to keep still and peaceful in the midst of the chaos. I trust the Lord and turn to him daily, in thanks and in asking for help, however, I want and need MORE of Him in my life, as this situation brings out fear, uncertainty, doubt, etc.
I thank you in advance for your prayers. As I mentioned earlier, I truly hope to post again down the line as a testimony. God Bless you.
Vicki
thoughts and prayers are with you. God Bless!
Thank you, kindly, Daniela. That means a lot =)
Your boyfriend needs to get a book called A MORE EXCELLENT WAY by Henry Wright. Self-hatred, Self-Rejection, unforgiveness, guilt, fear, etc are all sins in which the devil has power to operate in.
This book is sound. These sins of the heart have caused the downfall of too many Christians. You yourself will benefit from reading it.
Thank you for your response and for your recommendation, David! At this point, every little bit helps and I will be googling the book immediately. Stay blessed!
As a member of the body of Christ family, I recommend that you and your friend seek a prayer team, preferably trained in prayer of deliverance. I was part of a regular team in the past and I have seen some astonishing things, and I have never seen Christians charge anything for this services. NEAL LOZANO is a reputed trainer of such teams and his website might be able to refer to a reliable team nearby.His website is heartofthefather.com or you can Email him directly at Neal[at]heartofthefather.com and I will pray for you too. THE PEACE OF CHRIST, Marcel
Thank you so much, Marcel! I can feel your warmth and love in your message, and I am grateful. I will look into what you suggested =)
Father God, I want to thank you for your incredible power. Also that what I ask in this prayer is already done in the name of Jesus. For God you did not die in vain. Lord I lift Vicki up. I ask for strength for her and the peace that surpasses all understanding, especially in times of fear and doubt. Give her the wisdom to know what to do about this situation and how to pray. Show her how to be a witness to her boyfriend by submitting to your will God. To pick up her daily cross, deny herself and follow you Lord. Surrendering fully to you God So that she will see Your glory.
Father God, I lift up Vicki’s boyfriend in the name of Jesus. I claim the blood of Jesus over the eyes of the enemy. So that the enemy and his spiritual tactics be confused. I pray that anything that would cause interference come down in the name of Jesus! I claim Vicki’s boyfriend for God’s kingdom! God’s will!
No weapon formed against you will prosper!
Thank you very much, SummerLiketheSeason!!
This came at such a crucial time. I really need to hear this!!
God Bless.
Keep praying. I know how it is to wait for the time for God’s action. Don’t worry,God is never late.
God knows our inner thoughts,I will pray for both of you. May divine blessing be on your relationship. Your bf will come to know more about Jesus,our prayer’s never go wasted.
Poor poor boy, he needs a lot of patience and healing and it will probably take some time. Pray for him and intercede for him. He will need deliverance from the spirits that have come in due to abuse and his reaction to it, which is normal. Just love him and tell him that Jesus is helping him because he wants a relationship with Him, He is there by his side. It takes time for someone who has been abused to be able to feel any love.
Tell him that the Lord loves him because he has reached out to Him and He will not let him down.
Minz and Deborah,
Thank you kindly for your responses and for your prayers. Prayers, patience and faith keep me going on this roller coaster ride. Our God is one of healing and I patiently await the day healing and restoration come into our lives.
God bless you both always.
Vicki Stay strong, don’t quit on your boyfriend. you are pushing him closer to God and that if not sooner or later will be an amazing thing. maybe you were chosen to walk into his life to bring him closer to the lord. Thats what my boyfriend did for me. I was broken, depressed, slowly getting worse and worse and although I know I put him through the worst and so much pain. if it wasn’t for him believing in me and loving me and pushing me without stop to look for God I probably wouldn’t be where I am today which is on the journey to have a relationship with Christ. Stay strong and ask God for help. He will be there.