I’m new to this but I don’t mind sharing my life with other’s. Being a Christian in today’s society is very overwhelming and very testing. I grew up in the church all my life and was saved at the age of 22 years old. I am now 30 and yet the struggle still continues, through it all God has showed me many things about others and about myself. Trying tolive a Godly life in this present world so far has been a thorne in the flesh. Never was a child or young woman to run the streets or misbehave, never perfect but I was sheltered for most of my life and really never had the chance to get into any trouble normal teens or kids would get into. None of us have the mind of God, but Him and Him only. Not to be boastful, but I am smart, beautiful, humurous, easy going, layed back and I enjoy life. I have been raised under the guide of God and taught to be a respectable young lady. But yet I have no one in my life that God would allow any way. Many times I would isolate yself so that I wouldn’t be tempted to fall into to fornication and anything that wasn’t of God. My life consisted of work, school, church and that was practically it. As I got older I felt as if this was all God had for me, a repetitive life. Not saying that prayer, daily reading and worship is boring but I wasn’t truly happy. I was stress free, I gave all my frustrations to God and did as his word told me but yet I felt as though this is how im going to live the rest of my life. Living with a widow (grandmother) sitting at the dinner table day after day and night after night. No movies, no laughter, no excitement, no nothing. I learned that some Christians can become religious and lead religious lives and forget that we are not to fall prey to the religious spirit. I became resentful and angry and frustrated at God. Never saying that what I do makes Him reward me no he loves and give because He wants not of our own help. My friends and family members where leading happy lives having families of their own getting married, going on cruises and just plainly enjoying life. And here I am at home wasteing away no social life, no where to go but work church and/or school. Many nights and days I became so bored and frustrated all I could do was eat my frustration away read read read the bible and yet I was still anxiuos. I prayed I cried I don’t know how many nights. Church folks would quote scripture and so called ministers would minister but they were just words ti me. Some people blatantly sin and deal with the consequences later, but I always looked at both ends of my situtations before I attempted to do anything and yet still I struggled. Wanting to be married and have children in the convenant of marriage. I thank God for covering me when I wne tand did my own thing and I have no children out of wedlock. My biological clock is ticking very loud. Not my doing my body is doing. Ever since I turned 30 my body has been doing its own thing. I should not feel bad because I want to lay with a man, God has givenme these feeling. Have I held out yes on many occassion, but God is taking too long and i’m burning drowwning in my desires. There aren’t really any available men and in today’s society homosexuals and lesbianism has taken affect. I’m afraid that I may fall into the same trap as other’s. I know He sees all and he hears all prayers even the unspoken prayers, will He help me before it’s too late. does he love me enough to rescue me from my frustrations?
God hears your prayers love :) dont give up hope! keep in the word and keep faithful in prayer God is in control and He will give you your hearts desires but right now you are being tempted by the devil rebuke him because he has no power over you! Jesus overcame him at the cross and right now he is telling you that God is not gonna provide well the devil is the father of lies there is absolutely no truth in him whatsoever! Keep praying and trust God and believe that you have recieved that answer to prayer for a husband! God has given you that desire to be married and He hears you prayer and your cry so dont let go of that! God is faithful remember that if you are struggling speak to someone in your church about it someone who you can trust and be completely honest with! If you want to talk in more depth just send me a wee message or that :) All my love in Christ, Ally Xx
I have a cousin sister who was exactly like you. She is independent, left for usa to study in med, never had bfs, attended church , was in fellowship , very up beat with God. All her friends got married and had chilren , but she was still single at the age of 35. People started back biting and she felt like the topic of the day every where she went. She desperately got a man to prove to these people and announced the wedding… do you know the outcome ? This man before he married her, .. was found to be a married man with children. You see what Alison says is very true, the devil loves when a Christian is at the end of a tether, he makes sure to throw in all the demons because he knows , he will never get any other chance soon. So be careful my dear, dont give him this chance to destroy you. Luckily enough my cousin sister waited for another two years and God sent her the best man you could ever think of. Very patient, very kind, slow to anger, friendly to everyone, selfless .. i mean this guy if i was a woman , i would trick him to marry me. He is filled up with God. And so my dear one, you never know.. wait for what God has prepared for you. Always remind satan about Sarah who was impatient and forced her husband to sleep with the maid, and later caused havoc that lasts for a life time. Arabs v Jews. Remind satan .. that trick is old and worn out, you are patiently waiting for your blessing.