Sad Man

Rescued from the Deepest Pits

I will begin my testimony from childhood. I remember at the age of five, I was living with my father. My mother was never around because she was sentenced to life in prison for murdering her husband and her father. She was drug addicted, mentally ill, and a victim of abuse her whole life. Well, I was living with my dad who sold methamphetamine and crack cocaine and did it daily. He was never around, he was always out partying and selling drugs. I was left home with his girlfriends.

When I was six, I began huffing gasoline and spray paint fumes to escape my sadness and confusion. I would have hallucinations of funny voices that would make me laugh and feel happy, and I would see things as well. After awhile, it took a dark tone and the voices would torment me and put me down and make things worse. I felt so alone. I was always in the woods as a child, alone and secluded in nature. Finally, I got placed in foster care for like a year. During that time, I was bullied and locked in dark closets and I don’t remember much else.

My father got me back and I was 8. From 8 until 10, I lived with him. He was still distant. I remember one day he smacked me on the head and it hurt and I was so fed up, I went in this back yard behind some house and crawled in an old, dirty doghouse. I never prayed in my life or knew anything about God, but I begged God to take me from my dad that day.

When I went into foster care at age 10, the first place I went was a shelter for bad children due to the foster homes being full. I was sexually assaulted my first night by a 16 year old. The first foster home I went to after that was with a woman who was a witch and it was terrible there. In the next two years, I was placed in over 20 foster homes, I went to over 10 elementary schools, and two middle schools. I couldn’t make friends because I knew I would soon be shipped to another home, I stopped unpacking my trash bag of clothes when I arrived at new homes as well. Everyone I tried to ever attach to got taken from me, so I cut my emotions off and walked around numb and isolated and didn’t open up or attach to anyone.

8 months before I turned 12, I moved with an older lady that basically forced me to go to church every Wednesday and Sunday. These services lasted 3+ hours and the churches were small and hot with no air conditioner and I live in Florida. I couldn’t stand church. Over the next month, I grew fond of it. One Wednesday night at service, they did altar call to get saved. I began crying hysterically and felt a burning desire to go up there and I have no thought or hesitation, I simply walked up there and got saved. It was the best day of my life. Six months later I got adopted by a wealthy, loving family.

They adopted me at 12 and I lived with them until I was 14. After I got adopted, I slowly stopped praying all the time like a had been since I was saved, I put God on the back burner and felt I didn’t need him. During my time with them, not having a mother or father or stable friendship with anyone my whole life made me fear love.

Every time I ever loved I was hurt, and my adopted parents loved me so much and it terrified me. I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and was on medication since I was 11, and an SSI check.  I was so afraid of abandonment that I put them through so much so they would have to prove they would never leave me. They had to show me they were committed to me.

I got suspended from school, I got 27 referrals in a school year, I was skipping class, skipping school, not doing chores at home, and staying in my room constantly to avoid the family. I put a strain on their marriage and they divorced. At 14, they placed me back in foster care where I caught 7 charges within a months time. I began smoking marijuana and synthetic drugs as well. I was incarcerated from age 15 to age 17. It was a youth prison and I began cutting myself in there. I also began fighting and praying to Satan.

It never occurred to me that I given up on God. I always though he gave up on me. I got out and got back in public school with my adopted mom and began smoking weed again and cutting myself daily with razor blades. I was committed to a psychiatric hospital 4 times and stayed from a week to 2 months each time. I was practicing satanism with some kid at my school as well, I began becoming obsessed with Satan and demons.

Finally, a week before my 18th birthday, my real dad found me on Facebook, messaged me, and invited me to come meet him. I told him I’d like to move in because I never stopped loving my dad and didn’t realize he never changed. My adopted mom took me there to live with him. After one day, he kicked me out. My adopted mom wouldn’t let me come back with her either so I swallowed a bottle of my sleeping pills and slept for like 4 days and woke up in a psychiatric hospital.

When I was released from there, I lived with my dad’s old friend from my childhood. Also, he was now married to my stepmom who raised me when my dad was gone selling drugs. She was a witch and her mom who owned the house and lived with them was a witch as well, she did rituals all the time. He sold drugs and he gave me drugs all the time so I dropped out of school at 18 so I could sit home and get high all day.

I lived there six months and he kicked me out on and off because he was on every drug pretty much and he had mood swings. I was still cutting myself through this time. Pretty much from that point at 18 through the next 5 years, I kept cutting myself, got 8 charges, spent over a year in the county jail, got admitted to psychiatric hospitals over 20 times, wasn’t on my medication, was in and out of the streets, tried committing suicide 4 times, cooking methamphetamine, began using drugs through a needle, stealing from stores habitually, having sex with a lot of women, stealing cars, breaking in homes, was in and out of rehab 5 times as well.

I stopped practicing satanism due to my life falling apart, and at 20. I started practicing new age spirituality. It’s on YouTube called spirit science. Also at this time, I began huffing gasoline and using psychedelic drugs as well to hallicinate. I was meditating, trying to astral project, lucid dreaming, calling out to “spirit guides”, getting into crystals, ouija boards. Bad stuff.

But it seemed nice, I was blinded. I opened my third eye chakra and began hearing voices. They were soft at first, over time they got louder. They were funny. Hilarious even. They seemed to relate to me on a deep level, then over time, they started suggesting I kill people, kill myself, cut myself, pray to Satan. That’s when I realized it was demonic. That’s when I also realized that at age six on up through foster care, those groups of voices sitting around me were demons.

When I was high on synthetic drugs, and felt three presences in the room with me and had conversations with them, they were demons. I started séance rituals at six years old but had no clue they were real things. I asked its name when I realized it was demonic and it took a few minutes but it said “Abaddon” I googled it to see if it was real or not or just my imagination. Sure enough, the name is in revelations. A demon to be released from the pits of hell in the end times. That’s when I turned back to Christ and praying again.

Well, I kept getting high. Drug addiction had me in its vice grip. Just as it had my mother, my dad,  my aunt, my uncle, and my two other uncles who are dead as a result of it now. So I kept doing these hallucinogens and one day I heard a voice that wasn’t demonic say that  I was going to a mental institution, And that would lose my girlfriend that I had been with for two years, and I would be locked away for six months. It was a still voice.

All these things took place in the next six months  because I overdosed again. When I got out of the mental hospital, I wanted to hear about my future again so I did drugs and asked to know what was in store for my future. I was told this girl I was getting high with that I just met for the first time would be kicked out of her house, we would get in a relationship, I saw a vision of us laying in the grass, then I was told we would go through a dark period. It all happened in the month. Some things that were shown to me did not happen though. The dark period we went through was 6 months in jail for grand theft from Walmart.

I got out and I was close to God from being in jail. I still wanted to look into the future though so I tried and it wasn’t really working, so I kept trying. It wasn’t working. One night I was so depressed. You see, the mental disorder I have makes me have mood swings that switch so quickly.

One time, I was suicidal depressed and literally eight minutes later, I was joyful. Nothing triggers it. It is random. But it’s up to 20+ times in a single day and this night I was fed up and I had a bottle of pills I knew would be lethal if I took. I was about to take them when I prayed to God. I said please show me if I have a purpose on this earth. Give me a reason to live or I’m taking my life right now.

He showed me going to a drug rehab program, getting a license and car, getting back with my ex girlfriend, going to college for animation and art, getting out of college and working for Pixar animating Disney movies. He showed me and my ex girlfriend being married and I saw both of our children and the house we would have and I saw great wealth. So much money. But I was so filled with the Holy Spirit, I was weeping and so grateful.

This was the first time a vision was from God and not demons since the first time it happened. This felt calmer, more still, and put me in so much peace, it was a trance. I told God I don’t want to work for the world, I want to work for you. I was so grateful to him I wanted to give him my life. He then showed me quitting Pixar after a few years, buying my own animation studio, animating the bible for children, and it being put on YouTube and translated in many languages and sent to many countries to touch the next generation. I’m trying not to cry typing this, it’s such a blessing.

Then selling the rights to my animated movie, and getting a TON of money for it. By that point it will be his time for me to build my own church and become a pastor. It makes sense, I never believed it until he showed me. My ex girlfriend used to dream that I was a pastor, when I got baptized in rehab, a woman said God showed her a vision of me preaching to a gigantic church, one reverend at this Christian rehab said when everyone prayed over me, he felt I was greatly anointed, and this woman who sees visions from God told me when she saw me in church for the first time, she felt in her spirit that God has huge plans for me. I’m so blessed and humble.

One time when I was high a voice even said ‘since you love God maybe you should be a pastor.’ I just laughed it off and never though about it. I doubted Gods ability to use such a dirty sinner for his glory. The thing is though, in the bible, Jesus devoted his time and energy and teaching mainly to the worst sinners. Look at Paul for example, my middle name is Paul which I find ironic, but a Christian therapist once told me the deeper the pit you allow God to pull you out of, the higher rank you will have in his army.

Since then, when I used hallucinogenic drugs, it wasn’t enjoyable anymore. I was attacked, threatened, screamed at, hated, and it just was traumatic. These demons came after me so hard since then. They bribe me, showing me living in a mansion with exotic cars and women and waterfalls and swimming pools.

They say they will give me anything I could want on this earth. Anything I ask for. They want my soul, they say it straight up. They want it badly, but I would never turn back to that wickedness. They would say I’m a high value target and they have a target on my back.

I don’t fear though, the blood of Jesus got me through all I have been through, and if you are a saved Christian, in the spiritual realm, you have a wall of fire surrounding you, and demons can’t touch you. No demon no matter how powerful can come against the blood of Jesus Christ. They tremble at his name.

Well a Minister at this Christian rehab I was at told me I have the gift of prophecy. I have dreams seeing visions of things that always happen the next day. I was using demons to practice sorcery to look into the future, but since I chose to give my life to God, he used that for his glory. I go to rehab in three months and I’m working on getting as close to the Lord as I can. This rehab will be the one where I turn my life around through him, he showed me this being the right time in that vision two years ago. So I have much much growing to go, but I felt like I should go ahead and put this out there. Thank you for listening.


  1. Dani 2/19/2017
  2. Mary 2/21/2017

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