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Relationship Advice, Please Help

I am in love with a girl. She is the one person that really completes me, most caring, hardworking, prayerful & beautiful person I have ever met.

But she also does live in a different continent. Her family relocated 4 years ago to the other end of the world. She is a student, working and paying for higher education.

Let me start from the beginning. We met about 6 years ago at a church event. We started talking almost daily on phone and became really good friends. She lived in a nearby town. A few months after we met, I told her that I wanted us to be more than friends but she told me she didn’t feel the same about me & she was already in a relationship. I was heartbroken. Our communication stopped. We didn’t speak for almost a year. I never got over her, believe me I tried. I got into a few relationships thereafter but I could just not find someone like her. They were always short and lacked depth. Eventually I decided to stop chasing after a fulfilling relationship altogether and just be.

So almost 2 years after we met, she called me and wanted to meet me, perhaps mend things before she & her family left. We did meet the day before her departure and it was a very bitter-sweetest moment. I felt like a part of me had been ripped off. I know it was also difficult for her. We promised to always pray for each other.

They left. All this time she was still with the boyfriend. I then came to know that they tried to keep their long distance relationship active via Skype etc, but it was strenuous. It came to a point where he didn’t trust her, said she had changed etc. Then I believe they broke up.

2 years later, she reached out to me, we started communicating a few times. Then a year ago, I decided to take my prayer life more seriously and started doing a Bible plan (for reading the entire Bible for a year using a popular android bible app). I thought it was something she might be interested in (she had always been the prayerful one, much more than me). When I told her about the reading plan, I found that she had actually started one just a few days before me, so she decided to delay her reading plan so I could catch up. We then started praying Novenas together, week after week with each person taking a turn at finding a Novena.

And that leads to my situation at the moment. She regards me as a friend, nothing more. I don’t think she is in a relationship, and if she is she’s kept it to herself.

At any time when we have talked about our future plans and getting married, I’ve always told her that I am waiting to meet the right person and hope to start a married life soon. For her she also says that she’s also waiting on the Lord to meet the right person, but that her focus right now is school and work, she gets very busy and it can be very demanding sometime. She has another 3 or so years to finish campus. I on the other hand I finished school a few years ago and I’m in employment. She is a year younger than me.

But she always encourages me to date, even sounds happy at the prospect of me getting a girlfriend etc.

I feel that she really is the one for me. I don’t want to ruin our friendship or make things uncomfortable by telling her how I feel, considering that she did in the past tell me that she saw me as a friend and nothing more.

And even If I were to, I know that long distance relationships are not easy, and considering that hers and her ex failed, I really don’t want to place that burden on her, should she be willing to. I am willing to wait for her until she finishes school or until the time she comes back, if she decides to, if I were to know whether our relationship stands a chance of becoming something more.

I really don’t know what to do at this point. Advice?


  1. DC 10/15/2014
  2. Thomas254 10/18/2014

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