I am 36, father of 4, married 8.5 years.
I am really struggling with bills/work/feelings of worth/doubts. I need to confess and ask for your prayers.
I recently spoke with a pastor who does deliverances and he helped me confess a lot of sins. Like mistrusting Jesus, confusion, fear of man, etc. I feel cleaner than I have felt in a long time. And am regularly praying for God’s will. I feel humble and grateful.
I struggle with paying my bills. I don’t know why. I work. But what I make is not enough. Sometimes, I have these overwhelming feelings that causes me to get angry with God and lose hope. I hate these moments. Maybe that is when I eat snacks to cover the pain. Sugar snacks.
I am just now being healed from the pain of my parents’ divorce when I was 6.
I was saved by the grace of God when I was a rebellious 16-year-old.
When I was 19, my dad died. I slipped into a deep state. Depressed, suicidal, and had sex with random people to hide my pain. I got herpes. I went into a darker place. Yet, God was with me. Having mercy on me.
When I was 23, I did not want that darkness anymore and simply prayed for healing. I prayed to confess it to a friend. God provided two friends. And after a worship concert at my church, he told me to seek a pastor’s prayer and I would be healed. I did and have never looked back.
Now, as a family man, I have tried to provide with my own strength, and I am really struggling. I eat sugar when I am feeling low. But it really doesn’t help. It gratifies me for a bit.
One of the things I needed to confess to that pastor was being performance based. I am really looking for God’s grace right now. Not trying to do anything on my own strength but pray for his will and ask for his grace.
I feel the Holy Spirit say to me occasionally, I am calling you. I like that. But I do not really know how to respond. I want to be used by God. However, right now I look at my life with all my bills and it seems really bad. I ask for you help in prayer. Thanks.
I was very moved by your post and just prayed for you. My wife and I just finished watching the second part of this message by Andy Stanley at NorthPoint Church: http://reallywantseries.org/
I thought about you because some of the points he addresses sound very much like the situation you are describing… so I wanted to share.
I just read this mans post, and the following is what I just shared on my Facebook page.
No Condemnation!
“There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has set you “free” from the law of sin and of death.” (Ro.8:1-2)
Some of you have lived with condemnation all of your life, right? The guilt you carry is like having a mountain sitting on top of your shoulders, right? Perhaps you lay in bed at night thinking about how you have disappointed so many people, right? You look at your life and wonder how you ever got into so much bondage, right? The guilt you carry is tremendous, and the way of “peace” you do not know, right? And you wonder–“is there any hope for me? Will I ever change?” You are so sick and tired of being sick and tired, right?
There is only one way to have the guilt that you carry removed from you–only one way!!!! See Jesus on the Cross–bearing all of your guilt and shame! See Him bearing all of your sins and condemnation! See Him high and lifted up! See Him and now trust Him to save you and set you FREE!! Haven’t you carried your troubles long enough? Let Jesus have them–all of them!!!
Hi friend, Just Trust the Lord, He is “Yaweh-Yireh” The Lord will Provide, I can understand you because I was also healed by the Lord. Don’t get mad with God because that’s the work of the enemy just rebuke it in Jesus name. In God’s perfect time you will understand it.
Listen God loves you unconditionally and the proof of that is he died on the cross and rose again. Believe that you don’t have to think or work or even perform, Jesus has done all the good things for you. That alone will give you peace. I am going through the same thing as you.
Praying for you.
I just listened to a teaching yesterday on the beatitudes be Steve Gregg at the narrow path dot com. All of his teachings are free & he talks about being poor and trusting God. For financial guidance Dave Ramsey and his total money makeover tools can really help a stressed parent cope with managing money. Reading his book changed my life years ago. I know God can & will help you. Take it one day at a time & ask our Father to guide you and teach you. Pray over each of your children and live by faith even for the tiniest provision. You will emerge a more mature steadfast Christian because you learned how to navigate the life of faith in challenging situations.
One day at a time. Jesus said “sufficient for the day is the evil thereof”. When you learn to really keep it in today, your problems shrink and beconeuch more manageable. It’s when we try to solve all our life’s problems in restless worry in one day, that the waters become too choppy to sail peacefully.
I am at the same point in my life where I am begging God to forgive me and help save me from being angry with myself and God. I kno He is a God so mighty that He can do all things but the reason why He would leave me to pass through hard times and be an object of mockery is not clear to me. Pray for me to be forgiven for murmuring in my dark hour. Thanks
You are already forgiven sweetheart, The key is accepting the Gift that Jesus Christ is holding out to you, Accept God’s definition of what you are because what he says about you is beautiful and true. It replaces all your own ideas about yourself. You can’t earn a place in God’s heart because you are already in it. Know that your mistakes are forgiven and that you are his innocent and holy son. You are still as God created you. Those doubt thoughts do not come from God. Don’t let them steal your joy, but instead hand them up to the Holy Spirit. Pour out your heart like water before the face of the Lord. Focus on what is true. Philippians 4:8. Let the false fall away now. Always remember God loves you now.
I think there is a tendency to think there is something wrong when one is facing darkness and yet you are looking at what is to be healed with the Lord. God will wipe away all your tears, and He will go with you to be a lamp at your feet. Let your mind be transformed and renewed. You are not making this journey alone. Be gentle with yourself and allow all that stinky stuff to flush up through the mind. Watch it like a cloud floating by. Forgive yourself and let go. Don’t judge yourself. You are right where God would have you be. This too will pass.
Hello, I’m sorry to hear of your pain and money troubles. I’ve suffered from depression too and have struggled all my life with money problems. And because of my faith people have drugged me, beat me, put me in mental institutions and had me drugged to get me to recant and believe what they wanted me to believe….but God has been with me through all this. God is with you right now. I was so beat down by the world that I didn’t even think that I *could* work. I recently got a full time job and am currently looking for another job. Prayer and Bible study have gone a long way into making me the happy, not depressed person I am today. Before I go to bed I’ll pray for you. God Bless