I know this is kind of long. I’m sorry, but i think/ hope y’all will like it.
As most of y’all know I’m the preacher’s daughter. And that is most of the time is what I’m known as, is the preacher’s daughter. Everyone looks at me and says she must be the perfect kid. Her dad is a preacher and so I’m sure she has never sinned in her life. Well first off that’s not true because the bible says that everyone is a sinner. I can tell you my life isn’t perfect either. I have great parents who are very godly people and who try their best to help me and do everything they can to make me a good person and I love them very much for that, but I’m not a perfect person. I do try to do my best and not sin but that’s inevitable. I sin and sin and sin, but I have Jesus in my heart so when I sin I pray and ask for forgiveness and I’m lucky enough that he doesn’t hold that sin against me and forgives me.
Mark 2:7 b says “who can forgive sins but God alone?” I never have told anyone this, but about a year ago I was going through a tough time, I had a lot of questions about God that I just couldn’t find answers to. I had got saved when I was a young child about 6 but when I got saved then I just got saved because I saw all my friends doing it and I didn’t want to be the only one left out. Know of course that’s NO WHERE NEAR CLOSE to why you get saved! Ha, but I really did except Jesus into my heart when I was 11. Then this previous year I went into high school and things changed A LOT, I wasn’t sure about God I was having thoughts like what if this is all just a hoax or a game someone made up just to watch us look stupid. What if, what if, what if. During this time I wasn’t reading my bible, I wasn’t doing my quiet time like I should, and I wasn’t close to God at all. I was only going to church because I was the preacher’s daughter and I had to. I would have rather been at home sleeping in on Sunday, but instead I was going to church.
One Saturday night I had stayed up real late and I didn’t want to wake up that Sunday morning to go to church, but I was the preacher’s kid, so I had to. But that Sunday was the best Sunday that I could have ever been at church. I remember dad was doing a 4 week sermon series on Revelations. I had already heard the first three and they didn’t bother me, but that one Sunday that I REALLY didn’t want to be there but that was the one that touched me the most. He was saying how if we want to see our family and friends again than we need to trust Jesus into our hearts and live for him and believe he was the ONE true God and we would all be able to reunite in heaven. I know you’re thinking well that sound like every other sermon I’ve ever heard. Well, me too but that one week God had laid it on my heart and I couldn’t stop crying. Ha, I didn’t know what to do so I went and talked to Charley, but I used one of my friends as me, and I told her what was going on in my “friends” life and she gave me some great advice to give to my “friend.” The first thing she told me was that she needed to be on her knees praying to God and asking Him to show her direction in her life, and whatever else she needed prayer for. The second thing she told me was to be reading her bible ALL the time and that will help God point out things to you, because the Word is living. The final thing she told me was to tell my “friend” to talk to someone about it.
Well I never did the third step, in fact this is the first time that I have EVER told anyone about this. It wasn’t good for me to keep it bottled up, but I was afraid that when I told someone they would look at me different and I wouldn’t be treated as the same person anymore. That was not true but that’s what I had thought. The devil just had got in my head one day and I didn’t know what to do about it. On that same Sunday I went home and the first thing I did when I got home was I grabbed my bible and went literally inside my closet for about 1hr and half and just cried, prayed, and read my bible.
One of my favorite verses I read was Isaiah 55: 6-7 which says
“Seek the Lord while He may be found, Call upon Him why He is near, Let the wicked forsake his ways, and the unrighteous man his thoughts; Let him return to the Lord, and He will have mercy on him; and to our God, for He will abundantly pardon. I didn’t work immediately but when I got done with my time with God I felt like I had felt in a long time, and it was a great feeling. Matthew 6:6-7 says But you, when you pray, go into your room, and when you have shut your door, pray to your Father who is in the secret place; and your Father who sees you in secret will reward you openly. And when you pray, do not use vain repetitions as the heathen do. For they think that they will be heard for their many words.”
I have a tendency when I cry my face gets all red and splotchy so I stayed in my room for about another hour and just read my bible until my face cleared up so no one would know I was crying. I went to church that night and went to youth and had a great time as ALWAYS. I didn’t get all of my questions answered in that one day but a got a lot of them. If I would’ve just quit after that night, I think I would’ve feel right back where I was. So I continued every night to pray, talk to God, and read my bible. Even if it was just for 10 minutes I was finding more and more answers to my questions. It’s only a year later but I feel like a stronger better person, who is enormously more in touch with God. I pray and read my bible every almost every day now. Sometimes I slip up and forget every now and then but I just have to make sure I start back so I don’t slip back into that person I was before. So even preacher’s kid’s sin and don’t know all the answers to everything. If you have questions don’t keep them to yourself because it’s not fun to feel alone like you can’t talk to anyone about, because I’ve been there and it’s not fun. I will always be here for everyone and anyone who has questions because it’s not fun to be alone. I am a preacher’s daughter and I am a sinner also. No one is perfect but with God it’s a whole lot easier to be a better person!