There is this girl that i have recently entered into a relationship with, i have known her for four years. When i first met her we entered into a relationship quickly, and she ended up ending it. She said she prayed to God about us, but every time she did, there kept on being a block. First she said the lord said “not yet” then she said the lord said “no”. I didn’t see where i was going wrong, and i wanted to get back with her, but she would not allow it, so i was not going to force it. We remained friends after that for about 3 and half years, there were sometimes we would reconnect by talking and seeing how each other has been doing. I ended up moving on with a girl, but she saw that i was not happy, i stayed on into the relationship so that i would not be alone. But i knew that one day i had to break this off, believe me i felt bad, because really i ended up using this girl. After not seeing her for a whole summer, i bump into this girl that i like, and we talked about how things didn’t work out between us, because we never talked about it.
The lord then spoke to me that same day and said to break up with my current girlfriend. This girl that i like now is aware that i was still with my ex at the time and told me that i would need to make a decsion. Ever since that day, my feelings that have been there all this time, came back, and she told me that she never let go of how she felt for me. I ended up breaking up with my ex, and basically being free with the lord because i was in sin with her. Later on down the line, me and this new girl became boyfriend and girlfriend. Something i never thought would happen, because we never got this far. The way things started to happen afterwards was her and me having a better connection, she was not able to get in touch with anybody in the storm, but me and her were able to talk. Her father invites me to the house for Thanksgiving day and never has he done that for any guy that likes his daughter. She was worried that i was not going to mesh well with her extended family, it was like home for me when i got to know her family. Not only that but in the end of the night, i asked her parents for approval to be in a relationship with their daughter the old fashioned way. No guy has ever asked the parents this, and after that happened she was crying on the couch, because this is what she prayed for. This is what her parents prayed for, we went out to the city this past saturday and we were celebrating our relationship. She told all of her extended family about us, and even let a pastor know and some people in church know about us to. I did the same, then all of a sudden, she starts to shut down, telling me that i was showing to much emotion in our relationship and that she feels we are going to fast.
So now, things are changing in the relationship, and it just started, she had told me she was scarred before by a guy she dated and other guys to, so she is scared and can shut down easily when she sees something not right. She has also told me that we don’t know for sure if we are the ones for each other, so we really cannot be so caught up and forget that we have not heard from God. God right now is telling both me and her to “BE STILL AND KNOW HE IS THE LORD”, There is a lot i may not know about love and relationships, she has had training in this, her parents have raised her to know what it means to love someone truly. This to me is frustrating, for something that i have always wanted since 1991, and failed at miserably which was finding that one person to be with, to marry. Right now me and this girl are still together, but i don’t really know for how long. I’m taking it slow with her, but its starting to bother me a lot. I have been pushed to listen to God, and i keep going back and forth with letting God handle it and then not letting him handle it. I just don’t know why with me for 20 years its been so hard to just be happy in a relationship. I have God and happy with him, but what about the wife, i just don’t get it. Prayers please for me and the girl that I’m with right now. Also this girl is a worship leader, so she is known by a lot of people. Please pray.