Hey everyone I just need a place to vent. About a year and a half ago I was miraculously saved by Jesus Christ. I am still so new and fresh to everything. If I told most people how Jesus revealed himself to me they would not believe. But it was on a very personal level, just me and Him after i cried out one night. I did not even fully believe that Jesus was REAL until this. Jesus basically showed me my sins, he opened up my eyes to the truth. Before that I really didn’t think the way I was living my life was bad. But in that moment Jesus gave me all understanding that my life was a mess and my ways would lead me to destruction.
I was always very quiet girl. But I had some deep dark secrets. That I fought with daily. Instantly I repented and asked Jesus to take control over my life. Ever since then EVERY time I think about Jesus I am overly emotional. WHY? Because just the thought of what he has forgiven me for brings me to a place of worship (I can really relate to the woman who wept at the feet of Jesus).
When I read that in the bible I felt so connected to that story because my sins were MANY, that is why I’m so grateful. People around me don’t understand, some may think I’m being dramatic or faking, but I’m learning now that I don’t have to be ashamed to weep. I never in a million years though that anyone could have that affect on me.
Sometimes when I kneel down to pray I would just cry and weep so long. Because I’m so happy that Jesus spared my life. I realize everyday how I just didn’t deserve Jesus mercy, but He saw fit.
At first I thought that my emotions where playing tricks on me, so many times during prayer I would grieve the Holy Spirit. I would stop myself from weeping. Sometimes during the very early mornings, Jesus wake me up and I would out of nowhere start weeping for my loved ones and also lost souls. I get up with things I want to pray about but instantly my prayers would shift to praying for others.
I remember this one time I cried out for my sister with everything in me, just crying for mercy, after that prayer I was attacked by demons in my dream, it confused me so I woke up and wondered why would I be attacked if I just prayed my heart out. The next few days my sister got a HUGE miracle. I guess this is why the demons attacked me. But I did not fear, I had confidence that God was still protecting me. Do you know that, that was the MERCY of Jesus Christ.
Never stop crying out for your loved ones or people who don’t know Jesus, I pray that Jesus would save and reveal himself to everyone who doesn’t know him. I used to be embarrassed because I cried so much, but it has gotten much better. I could be at work sometime listening to gospel music, Sometimes I have to excuse myself and go to the bathroom to let out this river that’s in the inside of me. Most times after a peace that pass all understanding comes over me (THE BEST FEELING IN THE WORLD). It lets me know that Jesus is near and the he hears my cries.
You guys Jesus is so WORTHY to receive every praise. Despite all of the persecution I go through it is all worth it. I was a messed up woman, but Jesus is healing me and teaching me every single day. I can go on and on. Has any one ever had that happen? Where you just get overwhelmed with HIS Goodness?