Hello, I’m a 15 year old and because of the joy I experienced in trusting God. I wanted to share my testimony.
One day my friends and I were going to to to school for homecoming, and because I’m really shy and don’t like to go out I really didn’t want to go. I’m also really indecisive. I wanted to go because it would be my chance to have fun with my friends and enjoy myself for once. But then I didn’t want to go either. But all I could get is negative thoughts. I’m also really scared of trying out new things. So I went to my room and I wasn’t at peace, I didn’t know if I wanted to go or not.
I wasn’t at peace, and it was bothering me, I was torn apart. I didn’t want to disappoint my friend because she really wanted me to come, and I said that I was going to come with her. I did this once when she asked if I wanted to go to valley fair, but because of my indecisiveness I said no, and ended up regretting it and making my friend sad.
I never really thought my indecisiveness was a problem, until now, so in my room, I decided to search up, what the Bible says about it, and this is what I found:
“But he must ask in faith without any doubting, for the one who doubts is like the surf of the sea, driven and tossed by the wind. For that man ought not to expect that he will receive anything from the Lord, being a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.” – James 1:6-8
When I couldn’t decided wether I wanted to go or not, I was doubting, and I was like the surface of the sea I was double-minded, and was unstable emotionally. But even reading articles didn’t really help me, I was getting nervous and didn’t know what to do. So I kept reading articles after articles hoping I would get over it, but it wasn’t that easy. Then I noticed that every article always points out that if you really want God to heal you from your indecisiveness you need to ask for wisdom.
“If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, who giveth to all men liberally and upbraideth not, and it shall be given him.” – James 1:5
I got pissed off because I remember asking God for wisdom once and it didn’t work, but that was only because didn’t even understand what wisdom meant. I was angry that God wasn’t helping me. I wanted God to tell me if I should go or not. So because I don’t understand what that meant I decided to look through my bible and saw “The book of wisdom” my first thought was “wait a second, I have never heard of the book of wisdom before, so you mean there are pages dedicated to wisdom?”
As I read the book of wisdom, I finally understood that wisdom is a gift from God, and then I reread the Bible versus about asking a god for wisdom, it mentioned that God will give you wisdom no matter what you have done, he will give it to you freely, so I thought that’s great! – BUT I realize that it also mentions that you need faith to ask for wisdom. That was a deal breaker for me. Because for as long as I have known, me and faith weren’t the best of friends, no matter how much articles I read I never uunderstood the meaning of faith and how to get it. So if I don’t know how to have faith in God, how will I get wisdom? And wisdom is an understanding of God’s words, so I needed both Wisdom and Faith. Plus my indecisiveness is making me doubt. So I was stuck again.
No faith = No wisdom, No wisdom = No faith in God’s words
Wisdom is the understanding of God’s words, and because I kept reading God’s words about what faith meant, I didn’t understand it because I had no wisdom, and didn’t ask for wisdom.
And faith is:
“Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” Hebrews 11
So now I was confused, and was stuck and didn’t know what to do, what next? I was getting discouraged, so I went to check my daily versus, and this is what I found:
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” – Philippians 4:6-7
I knew this was from God and I knew God was speaking to me by sending me this verus. This isn’t something that happens to me everyday. I kept reading this verus over and over again. Then it finally clicked. God promises that if we ask anything in his name, he WILL do it, we just need faith, and that’s all I needed. But I was already having trouble having faith, so what did I do? Well I thought about it, since God doesn’t change and he promises that he will do and does give us, so why wouldn’t I believe him?
God isn’t a liar. Everything he says is true. So for once I believed him, and my evidence was because God isn’t a liar, and he promised. After that I got unto my knees in my room and prayed like what Philippians 4:6-7 says. I told God about my indecisiveness and instead of asking him to remove it, I asked him to help me have peace over what I decided, and to guard my heart, and mind. after praying I got up, and I just trusted God with everything. I trusted that God was going to take care of me, and guard me. I didn’t know that this was what God was going to do, but because of faith, I knew this is what God was going to do, and my evidence was because God promised, therefore there is no way God would lie to me.
“So faith comes from hearing, and hearing through the word of Christ” Romans 10:17
Now Romans 10:17 has to be a dead giveaway of how to get faith, to comes from hearing the words of God, but if you really want to understand the words of Good ask him for wisdom, an understanding of the word of God that helped me have more faith in his words. reading God’s words really helped me, after I was confident, I left with my friends, we went to a restaurant and I had soo much fun, talking, eating, and taking pictures.
After we were done eating. We went to school for the dance. Don’t get me wrong, I was still nervous, but I reminded myself of God’s promise saying that his plan isn’t to harm anyone. We got to the school, and guess what? I actually kinda loosened a little bit, I actually danced, that’s not something I would do anywhere because I’m shy around people.
I stopped to think for a moment about what a waste it would have been if I let my indecisiveness hold me back from going to have fun with my friends. I was at peace with my decision, and that’s all thanks to God’s gift of wisdom, and thanks to God almighty. He gave me an understanding of his words when I was reading it, and when I understood his words, I had faith in them, because that’s where faith comes from, that’s where real faith comes from, it comes from the words of God.
Before you read the words of God, ask him for wisdom to understand it. I returned back home and it was the best night of my life, I didn’t regret anything and I was over joyed that I didn’t know how to fully thank God. This wasn’t only about my indecisiveness, I believe God used this opportunity to help me understand Faith, and how wisdom works.
Next time if you are having trouble trusting God, believe him when he says that he isn’t here to bring you harm, but to actually give you life. This is a promise from him, God ain’t a lier. Too Good to be true right?
“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.” – Jeremiah 29:11
AMEN, that is my testimony 🙂 May the lord help anyone struggling with indecisiveness, and having trouble making decisions.